Alex


Life is pretty damn depressing when you’re just waiting around to die. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suicidal or anything, I want to live and have a happy long life. I just want a healthy, long life.

I’ve had this disease ever since I was 7, and since then I’ve been on this roller coaster called heart disease.

I’ve been up, I’ve been down, I’ve gone upside down but I can’t seem to find my way off.

All I want to do is get better, everything I try is just another failure.
I’ve heard them all, you tell me a treatment plan, I’ve tried it.
All the special diets, home remedies, physical activity, medication, surgically implanted devices, pacemakers. No matter how hard I try to get better, I end up getting worse.

The only thing that was yet to happen was a completely heart transplant. Yup, some poor person has to die, and they’ll replace my junky heart and switch it with a functioning one.
It sounds terrifying, and I really am terrified.

The organ that’s been keeping me alive my entire life, not well, but still, was going to be ripped from my body and traded with someone else’s.

What if i lose my emotions for people and things I care about, that I store in my metaphorical ‘heart’?
I know those things are all brain related, but as a 7 year old I was convinced all my feelings would be swapped.

I’ve been home schooled, I had tutors until we couldn’t afford them anymore, used online classes, and even taught myself a few things by spending time in the library.
Most of my life was my mom attempting to give me a good education while I was sick in the hospital.

It’s pretty much just been me and my mom my whole life, since my parents got a divorce when I was 6. He started sending money for child support when he figured out about my condition, but no gifts or messages on birthdays or holidays.

He calls once a year, but I don’t bother to answer.

He’s rich and is married to a girl that’s my age, living somewhere in California. I know he wants to forget that we were ever a part of his life, but one day I’ll make him regret it.

My Mom works graveyard shifts nearly every day, 6:00 AM to 6:00 PM. She works with old people, caring for people who have lost the ability to function alone everyday.
Actually, I see very little differences with me, and an elderly old man.

She works constantly to be able to pay the bills, let alone all of my medications, doctors appointments and hospital visits. I’ve tried to get a job to chip in, but that just led to more hospital visits when I overworked myself.

Without my asshole of a Dad’s checks he sends, I’d be dead.

My lack of school came with huge amounts of free time, and that’s when I started getting into music. I’ve had a passion for singing, songwriting, and playing guitar. I haven’t been doing much of it lately, but after my heart transplant, I plan on getting signed and traveling the world, going on tour, and meeting die hard fans. That’s my dream.

I would go to college but I think that’s pretty much a bust at this point. I’ve gotten a good education, and even though most people go to college at 18, I’m not too late to join.
I just don’t think it will ever be my thing. I’ve already been trapped my entire life, I don’t want to be abandoned at some snooty college surrounded by people who think they’re better than me.
Anyway, it’s not like we would ever be able to afford it.

I’ve dreamed of being able to be a normal teenage boy.
I want to go to parties, drink alcohol even though I’m too young, have mindless sex, but I’ve never experienced any of those.
My wildest party was my cousins 5 year old birthday party, where I tried to go in the bouncy house, and they had to call an ambulance because I my heart stopped.

I know it’s all pointless though. I’m going to die, I can feel it.
I was 19, and couldn’t make it up a flight of stairs without choking and gasping for air.

I’ve barely started living my life, I had so much left I could do, like get a job, get married, have children, have grandchildren, and yet I was about to die.


I know that I’m alive right now, but I sure as hell wasn’t living.

Notes

SURPRISE!!!!

New story!!! Dont worry it’s really not as depressing as it sounds

This is kind of like an introduction into it, this is a super bad first chapter, and this is not what the story is going to be like, I just wanted for Alex to tell you his story

If you’re subscribed or read my other stories then HEY BUDDY HAVE ANOTHER JALEX STORY

If you’ve never read my stories before then HEY BUDDY WELCOME

I came up with this literally like last night, and I have the entire story line now, so that didn’t take long.

Don’t worry i’m not going to forget about my other stories, my original Jalex story still is and will always be my favorite XD
If you haven’t read it you should check it out!


It might take a few chapters for jalex to meet and get all cutesy, but you guys just wait
And the age difference is like 6 years i think, i think it’s cute


And yes, Alex is blonde in this story, i wanted to switch things up, and if you guys have never seen pictures of Alex blonde, look them up now, you won’t regret it
Wait
I will have a blonde alex gif for you


perfection

Title Credit- Something's Gotta Give