Alex


I feel fucking terrible today
I thought that I took my pills, I swear I did
They are right next to my toothbrush in the bathroom, I take my medication, then I have a good day.

I took them, right?

Then why do I feel so fucking anxious, I just have this horrible feeling something bad is gonna happen.
I took my medication! Did I?
I’m a mess. Obviously by the way I was doubting myself, I forgot.

All I wanted was to be engulfed by a hug by Jack, but he wasn’t even fucking here.
He usually waited by my locker every morning for me to get to school, and greeted me with a big hug and a sweet kiss, but he wasn’t even here today.

The more me and Jack distance ourselves from each other, the more I'm realizing that I really really need him. He’s been my lifeboat ever since I came to this terrible school.

He makes me feel safe from other people, my home and my parents, and most of all myself.
Just my luck when I feel in the mood for crying my boyfriend has disappeared.

But where could he be? He would’ve told me if he was sick or ditching school or something. He can’t just totally leave me hanging like this.

What if he’s angry with me? I bet he’s out with his friends Vic and Kellin, oh wait, they broke up. The three of them used to ditch class to go shopping or get something to eat all the time, I didn’t approve of it but my opinion doesn’t matter to Jack.

It never matters to him, does it? Do I even matter to him? Obviously not, because he isn’t even here for me when I need him right now.

I’ve taken advantage of his hugs. I embrace him all the time and the second that I really, really want to, he’s gone. What if he’s gone for good? He doesn’t love me anymore.

I bet he just fled the country because he didn’t want to ever see my face again. That has to be it.
He’s gonna go to Mexico, find some hot, tan, tall latin boy with a six pack, with long brown hair.
He'll have a better accent than me too. He's going to sound gorgeous and exotic and I'm just a dumb british boy.
God, he sounds so much sexier than me. Anyone is sexier than me pretty much.

Have you ever seen someone that can be simultaneously scrawny and fat at the same time?
That’s what I see every time I look in the mirror. Complete ugliness

“Hey Bambi, are you okay? Did Jack tell you?”

I looked up to see Rian and Cass walking over to me, I realized I was just staring at my open locker. I must’ve looked so fucking depressed and dumb. I always do.
Wait. What?

“Jack tell me what?” I questioned, both of their eyes widened and they looked at each other.

“Alex, you really gotta know-”

“That Jack got held back in class, something about talking back to the teacher.” Rian interrupted Cass.
Oh, he didn’t leave me. Good. Why did he talk back to a teacher? What a rebel.

“Why is he like this?” I laughed, suddenly feeling a lot better than I knew where he was.

Cass gave Rian an angry look, and spun on the balls of her feet and walked away in the other direction. Rian sighed and stared sadly after her, but didn’t bother following her.

“Are you two okay?” I asked him worriedly.

“Not really, we’re kind of in a fight.” he frowned.

“Oh no dude, I’m sorry.” I apologized.

But Cass and Rian are the perfect couple! They can’t split up they are MADE for eachother!
They fit like two puzzle pieces, like me and Jack, but that’s not the point.
They can’t fight!
I hate fighting so much.

“It’s fine, as long as you and Jack are still going strong.” Rian told me, making me smile.

He’s not even thinking about his own relationship, just mine. He’s so selfless and thoughtful, his own relationship is at stake and he is just happy that his best friend Jack is happy.

“You’re so sweet Ri, I’m here to talk about anything if you want to.” I assured him.

“Go find your boyfriend Bambi, I think he’s upstairs.” he shrugged.

I didn’t have time to even look for him because the bell rang, I turned around and went straight to biology.
Ugh, I’m still in a horrible mood, I want Jack.



Jack

That fucking Mr. Armstrong is such an asshole. All I was doing was correcting him and he makes me stay after class, and gives me a long ass lecture on respecting adults.
What the hell?
School is so fucking useless, I’m so glad I only have a few more months to get out of this total hell hole.

I angrily shoved my book into my locker, shutting it hard and immediately saw my sandy color haired boyfriend walking over me with his shoulders slumped. I took a few seconds to admire his outfit, and how hot he looked. With his cute black beanie, a graphic t shirt, and tight ass denim jeans.

I quickly realized that the familiar signs of him not being in a good mood. He looked shaken up and nervous. Oh no.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” I immediately wrapped my arms around his middle, he looked up at me with the face I've seen too many times, he was trying to stay strong and hold back his tears, but every nerve in his body just wanted to fall to the ground and cry.

“I’m s-so sorry Jack, I didn’t mean it… I t-thought.. I d-didn’t…” he stuttered, shaking his head wildly.

“Shhh, calm down.” I soothed, hugging him tightly to me, he gasped for breath and his chest heaved as he pushed his face into my shirt.

“I d-didn’t mean it, I s-swear.” he choked out, trembling in my arms.

I had no fucking clue what he was talking about, but it felt like a stab in my heart seeing my beautiful baby boy so sad. I love him so much, I just want him to be happy.

I quickly realized he was about to have a panic attacks, from the signs I’ve learned to memorize over time.
Hyperventilation, shaking, sweating, chest pains. Oh Alex…

“Deep breaths for me, Lexy” I told him gently, rubbing my hand on his lower back.

I knew how to help him at this point. He’s been getting his panic attacks less lately, sometimes I stop him before it happens, but whenever I’m not there I usually find him on the floor of my bathroom while he’s clutching one of my t shirts.

He relies on me so much, there’s no way I’d ever let this boy go.

“B-but… Jack you.. I c-cant.” he cried, gasping desperately for air in his lungs.

“Lex! Focus on me, okay?” I told him, grabbing his face with one hand and making him look up at me.

He had tears streaming from his eyes that made my heart shatter.
I want to do everything for him, but it’s so hard to always keep him happy.
I know how bad he’s hurting on the inside and it cuts me into a million pieces.

I hate how he feels trapped inside his own head.
I just want to scream, ‘I’m here! I won’t let you drown!!!”
But everything I say seems to go right through him.

Watching the person you love most suffer is not just painful, it can take everything out of you.

“Please breathe, baby.” I begged, placing my other hand on his chest.
I could feel his heart beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings.

Alex let out a deep, shaky breath, I nodded proudly. I grabbed his hand that was wrapped around my waist and placed in on my chest, taking a deep breath for him to copy.

He mimicked my deep breaths, and I could see the anxiety slowly fade from his doe eyes.

“Good job, baby.” I whispered proudly, kissing his forehead sweetly. What a trooper, he’s so strong.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled, looking down again.

“For what?” I asked, still having no clue what he was going on about.

“There was this guy, in my Biology class, I don’t even know his name, I think it’s Pete or something.. He kept staring at me, but we were doing an experiment and I didn’t have the guts to tell him to fuck off, so I ignored him. Then he came over and started talking to me, and flirting, and it was so awkward and I couldn’t stop it, I promise I hated every second of it, and I feel really guilty. I didn’t flirt back with him I swear.” he rambled on.

Another dude flirted with him?

“Did he touch you?” I asked.

“No,” Alex shook his head, his eyes begging for forgiveness.

I sighed. With the huge deal that he made, it sounded like he had cheated on me.

Oh my god, what did I do?

I held him tighter, Alex buried his head in between the sides of my jacket, reaching his hand to interlock his fingers with mine.

If he’s this guilty for just having another guy flirt with him, which I am seriously still not okay with, and I will find this Pete douchebag and beat the living shit out of him…

Who the hell does he think he is?
Everybody in this goddamn school knows that Alex is MINE. We’ve been dating for 5 fucking months. That doesn’t give anybody the fucking right to flirt with MY boyfriend. This is serious fucking bullshit. Just because he’s the actual sexiest person on the planet, doesn’t mean everyone gets to have him.

I’ve worked hard to get him, and to keep him, and this point I think I might even deserve him.
Wait, no I don’t. I'll never deserve him.

So anyway, my point was, if he’s this worked up for just flirting with another guy, if he ever finds out that I cheated on him, he would be more devastated then I thought.

How could I do this to this innocent boy?

All he’s ever been was loyal, and sweet, and honest to me ever since I first met him.
Lately I haven’t been any of those things. I’ve totally betrayed him.

“It’s okay baby, I don’t give a fuck.” I told him, even though I did, I was enraged that someone thought they could get away with messing around with my boyfriend without going through me.

“You aren’t mad?” he sounded surprised.

“Absolutely not, you did nothing wrong. You’ve been nothing but honest with me, thanks for telling me Lex.” I told him. He could’ve easily just hid that small part of the day from me, but he didn’t.

“Okay good, I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you got angry with me.” a smile spread across his face, immediately making me smile.
Jesus fucking christ, I’m in love with that smile. It kills me everytime.

He needs me. He would’ve had a full blown panic attack if I wasn’t here to calm him him.
Now I know, Alex won’t be able to deal with this.
He needs me now. I can’t break the love of my life.

“I told you before, it’s impossible to be angry with you. I love you too much.” I smirked, making him giggle and a light pink blush spread on his cheeks.
I leaned down and placed a kiss on his warm cheek, and he pressed closer to me, feeling instant comfort.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, lays head on my chest.
I kissed his carmel hair, and placed my chin on the top of his head.

It felt great, knowing he could trust me like that. He told me thinking I would have some kind of meltdown, he did it anyway.
He was honest to me no matter what.

No matter if it hurt me, if I went on some kind of pissed off rampage, he told me.
Because Alex would never lie to me, he couldn’t.

I could trust him, but he couldn’t trust me.

Notes

drama drama drama
but you guys just WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER
IT IS CRAZY

AND AWWWWWW
RIAN IS SUCH A UNDERRATED CUTIE
HE IS SO SWEET AND COMPASSIONATE TO JACK AND ALEX
jalex is his otp just like all

and POOR BABY ALEX FORGOT HIS MEDS MY ANGEL
AND HE FREAKS OUT
AND JACK IS A LIAR

oH MY GOD
this story is killing me
the next chapter is going to kill all of you
it'll be posted tomorrow so be prepared

Alex Outfit
Jack Outfit

okay, im gonna go
i need to make a sandwich i am very hungry
i hope we have sandwich meat

HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS GIF BEFORE
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THIS
JACK IS SUCH A WEIRD RUNNER IM DYING OF LAUGHTER
honestly thats how i run
AND ALEX IS STILL HOT HOW

Title Credit- The Beach