Take my hand,
Take my whole life, too
For I can't help falling in love with you

“So...” Jack began eagerly later that night. The sun had long since set and Jo, the last of the band to leave, had driven off only a few minutes previously. As for Jack, he had only recently returned home after a day out having fun with Alex, but from the way he kept glancing at me, I could tell he was dying to know how the meeting with Midnight went. This, of course, was only emphasized out loud not even second later as he asked, “...how’d it go?”

“It, uh...” I smiled as I recalled the bombardment of positive reactions I’d received after playing the song I’d written. “It went really well, actually.”

“Really? That’s great, babe!” Jack’s mouth split open into a wide, bright grin. He looked like he couldn’t be prouder.

I nodded, continuing before I could even try to hold back, “Yeah, they loved the song. Jo even wants to try working together writing a song or two for the next album. Of course, before we write the next album, we have to find, you know, a label to sign us, but still...” I took a deep breath, and as I exhaled I allowed my lips to fall into a content smile. “They really loved it, Jack.”

“I knew they would.” Jack replied confidently, pulling me into a tight, one armed hug before pressing his lips to my forehead.

I rolled my eyes, allowing my body to mold against his tall, thin frame. “You were optimistic, there’s a difference.” I muttered.

He chuckled, and as he did I could feel his chest vibrate against me. It was an odd, comforting feeling, being that close to Jack. It was like I could feel every minute detail, every fiber of his being. I’d come to be around him like that more often since being released from the hospital. It helped me ground myself in reality. If I could be that close to him--touch him, feel him--then whatever lingering doubt that I might have thanks to my still recovering state of mind would disappear. Jack was with me and damn, did he love me.

“Hey, I know you. You’re my girlfriend and you’re fucking amazing...” He shrugged his broad shoulders as he finished simply, “I just figured anything you wrote has to be amazing, too.”

I narrowed my eyes slightly, trying to follow the logic, but smiled none the less at his compliment. “Well...thank you for believing in me.” I paused, laughing as I added, “Even if you haven’t heard it yet. As far as you know, I could be the next Yoko Ono.”

He chuckled, letting his head droop down at the plausibility. After all, I’d never been brave enough to show my own music to anyone, let alone Jack...

...not that there’d been a whole lot of music to share, considering I’d only recently composed two songs that I actually felt were worth keeping around, but still.

“I’ll take my chances.” He replied with a wink.

I continued to eye him carefully. “Really?”

He nodded. “Really, really.” He paused as his dark brown orbs met mine in sudden worry. “Why?”

I bit my lip. The nerves I had felt over playing the song in front of Midnight slowly beginning to bubble inside of me, because at that moment, I decided to open myself up once more. I wasn’t sure what had made me come to this decision so suddenly. Hell, I’d barely finished my first emotional high-dive and here I was, about to go into round two with the person that meant more to me than anything.

Because the thing was, I’d only shared one song with my band. The other one...well we all know who that one was for.

I don’t think I ever intended to sing it again once I penned the last word, let alone sing it in front of him. It was supposed to be my private way of telling the love of my life how important he was to me, and how I would never forget his support over the hardest time in my life. In a way, it was like a private diary entry, just meant between me and the paper.

But deep inside, I knew it had to be more than that.

He deserved it.

Which was why I said, “Because I, uh, I want to share something with you.”

His eyebrows perked up, the musician in him instantly getting at what I was saying. “You want me to hear the new song?”

I half nodded. “Yeah--well not the song I played for Jo and the guys. It’s actually something else I came up with after. I wanted you to hear it first.”

“Me?” Jack asked, looking down at me as he tilted his head. “It doesn’t go into the details of our sex life, does it?”

My mouth crumpled into a firm, slightly offended frown. “Ew, Jack, no. Even though we--and by ‘we’ I totally mean you--might joke about it, our sex life is between us. I would never write a song about that.”

He dared to give me an innocent look as he shrugged, “Hey, I was just thinking of why you wouldn’t want to share a song with the rest of your band--”

“It’s just really personal, okay?” I rolled my eyes, releasing myself from his arms so I could take a step back. And, before he could make any more assumptions, I quickly nodded back towards the music room. “Now. Are you going to follow me or are you going to daydream about all the dirty ways I might’ve poetically described our private life?”

As I turned on my heels, Jack loudly cleared his throat, the various possibilities I could word our nightly activities probably coming to the forefront of his mind. “Naw, I’m, uh, com--” He gulped, and I could practically hear the blush in his voice. I swear, it was almost like he wanted me to write a dirty song. “--right behind you.”

We walked into my small home studio, and instantly I strode to the keyboard, my fingers itching to start the song already. I’d already played it a thousand times in my head, and I was desperate for the notes to grace my ears. But more than that, I was dying for Jack to hear it.

“So, before I start,” I began, shuffling the lower half of my body slightly into the cushioned piano bench. “I just want to say that I really hope you love this, but if you don’t I totally won’t get offended, okay? I’m far from a professional when it comes to writing and there are probably a lot of things that need work, but--”

Jack stopped me mid-ramble. “Sally, I’m sure I’ll love it.”

“But I’m just saying--”

“I’ll love it.” He repeated, this time his voice a little firmer as he dipped his chin, eyes right at me silently egging me on.

No pressure, or anything.

I let my fingertips fall gently onto the black and white keys of my brand new keyboard, tapping the smooth glossy keys a few times before finally taking the plunge and playing the opening bars.

Put your lighter in the air and lead me back home
When it's all said and done and follow where the air goes
I hear you night after night calling out my name
And I'm finding myself running to meet you
I didn't want to escape
From the bricks that I laid down

I kept my eyes shut, too nervous to see Jack’s reaction to the song. It wasn’t even that I was scared he wouldn’t like it. Whether he liked the song or not, it didn’t matter. Though I definitely cared, don’t get me wrong...what was more important was telling him how grateful I was of him being my rock within the past year, thru thick and thin. I was beyond grateful having him in my life, and now that I was finally finding myself back on track, I had to let him know.

You are the only one
The only that sees me
That trusts me and believes me
You are the only one
The only one that knows me
And in the dark you show me
It's perfectly reckless
Damn you leave me defenseless
So break in...
Break in

I continued into the second verse, building up the intensity of the song as I pressed more firmly on the keys.

You let me fall apart without letting go
Then you pick up the pieces and you make me whole
I didn't want to escape
From the bricks that I laid down...

I repeated the chorus, diving into the bridge without a hitch. By this point I’d opened my eyes, but stubbornly kept my gaze on the keyboard. I couldn’t look at Jack until I was done. If he was happy, I was going to burst into tears. If he was emotional I was going to burst into tears. If he was angry, which I really didn’t understand why he would be but still, you get the picture...

And take everything I have
Until there is nothing left
Until it's just your voice in my head
And when the lights come on
You see me as I am
You're still inside me...

You are the only one
The only that sees me
That trusts me and believes me
You are the only one
The only one that knows me
And in the dark you show me
It's perfectly reckless
Damn you leave me defenseless
So break in
Break in

I wrapped up the outro to the song, letting the last few notes ring into the air until nothing was left but silence. It was only then that I dared to lift my gaze, bracing myself for Jack’s reaction to the song inspired by him.

At first, he didn’t say anything. He just sat across from me, staring at me almost as if I was still performing, his brown orbs transfixed on me like I was some sort of siren. I stared back, waiting for him to respond, to say anything, but when he didn’t, I awkwardly cleared my throat.

“So...” I raised a brow, letting my shoulders fall as I anxiously waited for feedback. “...what’d you think?”

The sound of my voice seemed to brake him free of whatever trance he was under as he shook his head, snapping out of it. “That was...wow, Sally.” He finally breathed.

I tilted my head, unsure just what he meant by this. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, after all. “Is that a good ‘wow’ or a bad ‘wow’?” I asked.

“It’s a fuck-I-can’t-believe-my-girlfriend-wrote-such-an-amazing-song ‘wow’.” He clarified, and when I subconsciously rolled my eyes, he was quick to add, “Like, seriously, Sally. It was perfect. You don’t have to change a thing.”

“You aren’t just saying that to butter me up?” I asked, though from the proud smile on his face I already could tell he wasn’t.

“Babe, I’ve never lied to you, especially when it comes to music.” He responded easily. “And I’m telling you, this song is really great...” He paused. “You sure you wrote that about me?”

I suppressed a laugh at the ridiculous question. “Who else would it be about, you dork?”

“I don’t know...” He shrugged. “Maybe your super secret other boyfriend?”

My mouth fell into a firm frown, mocking seriousness. “Damn, how’d you know?”

Jack just chuckled, shaking his head lightly. “Seriously, babe. I love it. It’s amazing...” He leaned forward from his spot across from me so he could grab my hand, pulling me up from my safe spot on the piano bench. I let my body fall forwards clumsily onto his lap. “You’re amazing.” He added between his teeth as he pressed his lips against my neck, peppering a sprinkling of kisses on my skin.

I felt an instant shiver run down my spine as he continued to show his affection, his kisses quickly rising up my jawline. I could feel his hot breath against my ear. “God, I love you.” He whispered as his hands began to wander down my body to my most sensitive areas.

I wasn’t an idiot. I knew exactly where this was going, and from the lustful way that man kept looking at me, I knew that he wanted it bad. Whatever I’d sang in that song somehow made him horny as fuck. His lips finally met mine, and it was just as the kiss was really getting heated; just as his fingers were seconds away from their destination, that I pulled away.
“I’m sorry, I just have to say something first.” I apologized to an obviously confused, not to mention disappointed looking, Jack.

“What’s wrong?” He muttered, his lustful eyes dissipating as it was clear his mind went straight to my messed up head. He thought I’d had a flashback or an episode or something otherwise disturbing. Considering how our last six months had gone, I couldn’t blame him.
I quickly shook my head, stopping the worry train before it got too far. “No, it’s fine. I’m fine. It’s just...” I sucked in a breath, composing myself as I readjusted my slightly messy hair, pulling a few runaway strands behind my ears. I counted to three before finally meeting his familiar deep brown eyes. “I need you to know that you’re amazing too, okay?”

His dark, thick brows furrowed, half smiling as he took in my words. “...okay?”

“‘Cause you are. I mean, you’ve been showering me with compliments over how brave I’ve been and how amazing I am for battling my demons and shit, but you have to know that I couldn’t have done any of it without you.” I paused, allowing ample time for Jack to understand that I was absolutely dead serious. And, from the way his smile slowly began to dwindle, I could tell he understood perfectly. Carefully, I continued. “You’re the best person I know, Jack. You mean the world to me and I couldn’t have asked for a better person to love than you. You’ve seen me at my best, and most definitely at my worst, and you’ve never thought for one second that I wasn’t worth it. I just...I want you to know how grateful I am to have you in my life.”

As I finished, I noticed Jack’s suddenly misty eyes hadn’t left mine, transfixed on me as I spouted out my words. “Sally, I...don’t know what to say.” He shook his head, finally releasing his gaze as he glanced up towards the ceiling in hopes of leveling his emotions.

“You don’t have to say anything.” I shrugged, knowing that had the rolls been reversed, I wouldn’t have the first clue how to properly respond to such a statement. I mean, really, what do you say? Thank you? “I just wanted you to know, ‘s all.”

Silence eloped us for a few beats. I stayed there, in Jack’s lap for a good thirty seconds, waiting for Jack to say something--anything, when he finally opened his mouth again. When he did, the next words that came out of his mouth certainly threw me for a loop. “You know, with such a big speech and everything, I thought for a second you were going to propose...”

My eyes widened, only half certain he was just joking around. I laughed nervously. “What? Me? I thought that was your job.”

He tilted his head from side to side as he continued innocently, “I’m just saying, there a was a point where I was expecting you to go down on one knee and pop the question with a big ass engagement ring.”

I bit my lip, staring at him as I cautiously asked, “Um, did you want me to?”

He shrugged, lowering his arms so they were now loosely wrapped around my waist. “I don’t know. I mean, this isn’t exactly what I had envisioned. It’s not the most romantic setting, is it? At least serenade me, woman.”

I rolled my eyes, slapping his shoulder lightly. Now I knew he was playing around. “Hey, don’t make fun of me. I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted that.”

He let out a laugh, his bright teeth shining bright as he finally dropped the act. “I know, I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist.” He paused, smile fading just a hint as he added, “You...you aren’t ready for me to ask again, are you?”

I pursed my lips, having thought about that very thing once or twice in the past month or so. I mean, I was stable mentally thanks to therapy and my very large support system. I already lived with him, and I obviously loved him to death. But...were we ready? We’d been through one hell of a year, and adding a wedding on top of that could either be the highlight of the year or, given my weirdly clingy family, yet another disastrous event to add to the list. “I...I think that you know me, and when the time is right, you won’t have to ask me if I’m ready. You’ll know.”

He nodded, glancing down at his lap where my legs were currently wrapped around his torso. “Well, at least that wasn’t a no...”

I frowned, finding his reaction worrying. “Why, are you ready?”

His eyes shot up at me like a deer in the headlights, his cheeks flushing. “What? No, I was just asking--”

I narrowed my eyes. “You have something planned, don’t you?”

“No, I--” He began, but his expression said it all.

“You do have something planned.” I gasped, my heart already pounding at the very idea of it. My boyfriend was planning to propose to me. “Oh, fuck, and I’m not supposed to know.”

“Well, technically you don’t know anything other than that, but--”

“But you wanted to surprise me, right? I ruined the surprise--”

“You already knew I was going to propose at some point, silly. And you still don’t know exactly when or where I’m going to do it so you’re still going to be at least a little surprised, right?”

My shoulders fell. “Well...I guess so.”

He chuckled at my disappointed reaction. “Could you sound any more excited?”

“I’m sorry! I just feel bad for ruining the surprise.”

“Stop saying you ruined the surprise. The surprise is still perfectly in tact, believe me. You won’t know what hit you, you’ll be so shocked.”

I laughed at his over-sell, but nodded because really, with Jack, I expected nothing less than to be pleasantly shocked by whatever way he ultimately decided to pop the question. “Oh, I’m sure I will be.”

He smirked at me, kissing my temple softly. Then, just as I was positive he was going to resume our interrupted make out session, he asked, “Quick question: when you say you want to be serenaded, a mariachi band is totally in the cards, right?”

Notes

Apologies for the wait. I've been working a ton and by the time I get home, I'm too exhausted to really form a proper sentence, let alone a full chapter. So, here's a super sweet chapter to remedy any hard feelings.

Opening lyrics are from "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis. Enjoy!