Thanks To You

"Alex fucking Gaskarth."

My eyes flew open at Jack's voice and I found myself practically rolling off of the bench. I grinned, rushing over to the bars to get a closer look. His dark hair was a mess tucked into a red beanie while my black Raven's hoodie hung loosely off of his torso and black skinnies clung to his legs. Butterflies swarmed my stomach making me wish he didn't have such an effect on me.

"You're lucky I answered my phone because I wasn't going to." He hissed, bringing me out of the little moment I had while I was checking him out.

"I'm so happy to see you." I blurted, looking behind him for any signs of the officer.

"Sure." He sighed, pulling the familiar falling apart piece of shit I call a wallet out from the hoodie pocket. "Why are you naked?"

I opened my mouth only to stop when he held his hand up.

"I don't want to know." He grimaced.

I rolled my eyes, not understanding his attitude. Shouldn't he be laughing his ass off at my stupidity like a best friend would? That's how the other guys would react anyway.

"I puked all over myself, ass." I muttered, dropping my hands from the dirty bars. "What's your problem anyway?"

I frowned, hearing him scoff just as the officer stopped by his side.

"Looks like he decided to show up for you." He laughed, unlocking the cell.

I rolled my eyes and waited for him to pull the door open enough for me to slip out. I cleared my throat and stepped next to Jack. He handed me my wallet and I sighed, opening it and pulling out a few twenties with a ten. I bit my lip, sensing Jack's eyes on my as I counted out seventy total.

"I'm upping your price to ninety for being a smart ass." He told me.

"What?" I exclaimed, giving him a look of shock. "You can't-I wasn't being-"

"I can put you back in that damn cell and place you on the sex offender list." He retored, crossing his arms sternly. "People get on that all the time for pissing in public places, kid. If you think about it, I'm letting you off the hook."

I gawked, turning my attention back to Jack as he slapped my arm. His dark brown eyes were wide in shock as he worriedly bit his thumb. A cute nervous habit he's had since we were younger.

"Give him the money." He ordered quietly.

I sighed, pulling out an extra twenty and sadly handing it over. He snatched it from my hands and grinned like a real douche, patting my shoulder.

"Don't lay on someone's lawn half naked from now on, punk."

I nodded, following him as he escorted us back out the the doors. Once we were outside, a sharp pain filled my side and I whined. I turned to Jack accusingly from where the pressure came from and frowned when I saw his angry face.

"Jack-" I started.

"I don't want to hear it. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you? I was so worried about you when you skipped out on school yesterday and then I don't hear from you until Casey shows up at my house freaking out that you're shitfaced and trying to find me." He ranted, causing a more strong feeling of guilt to fill my gut. "So of course I go to help find you only for you to fucking-"

I frowned when he stopped abruptly and looked down at his feet, not knowing what to say because if I'm being honest I really don't know what the fuck I did or anything after smoking with the guys.

"What'd I do?" I asked awkwardly, hating the weird tension surrounding us.

"Of course you don't remember." He spat. "Considering you were falling over and spitting from being so damn drunk."

I furrowed my eyebrows, making hard eye contact as my stomach churned harshly.

"What happened?" I questioned nervously.

"Whatever, it was nothing." He dismissed, waving his hand.

I groaned, pulling at my hair in annoyance.

"What the fuck are you on about?" I groaned. "You wouldn't be so pissed with me if it was just nothing."

"I'm pissed because you've been distancing yourself from me and now I find out you've been ditching me and the guys to go get drunk with those stoners." He retorted with a frown.

"Those stoners are my friends." I defended, biting my lip at his harsh glare.

"I'm supposed to be your best fucking friend. Rian and Zack and Matt and Cass and Lynn and Evan and Jesus Alex, I could go on because we are all your best friends. You're just distancing away from us and I can't figure out why because we were as close as months ago."

"I'm not distancing-" I tried, only for him to interrupt me.

"Don't fucking lie." He sighed. "Just whatever Alex. Let's just go. I had to get my mom to drop me and Joe off for your stupid car so now you're driving us back."

Apparently I'm not hiding my uncomfortable-ness with the situation I'm currently trying to deal with very well and now my friends think I'm drifting away. A wave of nausea washed over me, making me feel one hundred times more sick than before only this time it was from guilt and all of the confusing thoughts swarming my head. I didn't realize I wasn't just falling away from Jack, it's everyone. The fact that I don't remember anything I said or did last night had my head spinning even more and I could feel my hands start shaking from anxiety building up. What if I spilled all of these thoughts to someone? What if I told everything going on in my head? My heart skipped repeatedly in my chest and it felt like I was looking through fog. I blinked slowly, feeling like I was moving in slow motion.

"Alex?"

Jack's voice echoed in my head and I swayed a bit, feeling extremely light headed.

"Fucking breath, Lex!"

I closed my eyes, blocking everything out as I breathed in through my nose a few times. After a few minutes, I shook all the thoughts to the back of my mind and cleared my throat. I can worry about it later. Opening my eyes, I ignored the look of worry on Jack's face before motioning to my car parked next to the sidewalk.

"M'good. Just sick..." I trailed off anxiously, refusing to look into his eyes.

With a reluctant nod, he followed me over to the car just as Joe was getting out of the driver seat. He twisted his hat on backwards and gave me a bro hug when I got to where he was standing.

"Sup, little dude?" He greeted, ruffling my hair. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Nothing much, Joe." I replied quietly, moving to sit in the car. "Thanks for coming."

"Yeah yeah, don't make this a regular occurrence okay?" He chuckled, climbing into the back.

"Wouldn't dream of it." I sighed, putting the car in drive after Jack silently buckled himself next to me.

I happily pulled away from the police station, an uneasy and guilty feeling still swirling around in my gut as Jack remained quiet in the passenger seat. I chewed my lip ring, tapping the cool steering wheel quietly before I stole a glance at Jack. He kept his gaze out the window, arms crossed tightly across his chest. I sighed quietly, hating the tense atmosphere surrounding us.

"Can you drop me off at University? I don't wanna be late and I'm kinda cutting it close." Joe asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah." I agreed, switching into the right lane. "Saturday classes must suck."

"Especially at one in the afternoon when I could still be sleeping." He replied boredly.

I nodded in agreement, listening as the car fell back into the awkward silence. I frowned, glancing down at the cup holder closest to me to see my LG phone sitting inside. A small scoff left my lips when I noticed the screen shattered horribly from the top right corner before it split into three jagged cracks down to the home button. In other words it was fucked up pretty bad.

"Shit." I sighed, picking it up and clicking the home button.

It lit up brightly, blinking with a low battery reminder. I shrugged, sliding my thumb across it softly to avoid cutting my finger. It unlocked to my recent calls and I bit my lip when there was a red number next to Jack's contact reading twenty-five missed calls. I glanced at him quickly, catching him staring at me before he rolled his eyes and looked away again. Licking my dry lips, I scrolled down to find one of my most recent contacts and clicked call.

I put the phone to my ear, pleased to hear the ringing on the other side. At least the piece of shit still works because God knows I can't afford a new one.

"Gaskarth, where the fuck are you?" I cringed at the loud, angry voice of my boss.

"Uh...yeah, about that." I chuckled nervously, clearing my sore throat. "I was calling to say I can't make it in today."

I tapped my fingers across the steering wheel as I pulled up to a red light, mentally preparing myself for what I know is coming.

"You can't make it in today? What the fuck do you mean you can't make it in?!" He yelled, shooting an ache through my ear.

"Something came up, Brock. I'm sorry okay?" I sighed, holding the phone away from my ear.

"Sorry doesn't fucking help me Gaskarth! You're my best guy here and you're two hours late! I've got a customer waiting on a new transmission, a customer needing oil and tires changed and another that needs a lot of new parts put in. What am I supposed to do, huh? I can't fix it all myself and three off your ass wipe co-workers called off. I can't have four workers off in one day!" He fumed, so loud I'm sure Joe even heard from the backseat.

I rubbed my face with my free hand before taking off straight ahead as the light turned green. I sucked on my lip for a few seconds, feeling a little bit of relief as Baltimore University came into view.

"Listen, um." I blanked, biting my lip as I looked through my mirrors to make sure I was clear to turn. "Okay, I'll come in. I'm just really late."

I hit the blinker and turned into one of the many parking lots of the large university, cursing myself for calling into work before I was alone.

"You said you couldn't make it in! Was that a lie?! I should fire your ass!" He laughed incredulously, still sounding incredibly pissed.

"No it's not a lie, I'm- it's complicated." I groaned, getting frustrated with all of his yelling. "It's not my fault the other guys called off-look-whatever. Fire me then."

I rolled my eyes, pulling the phone from my ear and pushing the red button on the bottom left before I could hear anything else. I dropped the phone back into the cup holder angrily, feeling my shoulders tense from my stupidity.

"You could drop me off here." Joe directed.

I pulled over to one of the entrances, listening to him get out without another word. I don't blame him though, this whole ride was awkward and he was pretty much forced to listen to me get fired.

"You better call him back." Jack suggested, speaking up for the first time since we got in the car.

"I fucked it up like I fuck everything else up." I muttered, shaking my head as I pulled back away from the school.

I sighed, rolling my window down to get some fresh air.

"Fuck." I groaned, slamming my hands on the wheel as I drove back towards Jack's house.

"Alex, what's going on with you?" He asked softly. "And please don't say nothing."

I shook my head, tightening my fingers around the wheel as I focused on driving back safely. Despite the shitty hangover feelings running through me, I still wanted to go home and drink again. Maybe I will, they do say more beer cures the hangover.

"You want Taco Bell?" I asked, hoping for a distraction when I noticed it coming up at the next light.

"Just take me home." He sighed.

I bit my lip, trying to figure out how to tell him that I want to hang out with him. I just don't want to talk about my feelings or shit like that. It's better he doesn't know anyway, so I just nodded and continued down the street without another word. About ten minutes later, I was pulling up to Jack's familiar two story house. Right when I pulled up to his driveway, he was unbuckled and opening the door.

"Jack, wait." I called out, finally getting some kind of nerve.

I frowned when I went ignored, watching as he slammed the door shut and trudged up to his front door without a look back.

"Thanks for helping me out." I told the empty seat next to me. "I'm such a fuck-up."

I relaxed back into my seat with a heavy sigh, a small spark of happiness replacing the guilt at the thought of what I'm about to do.
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I laughed to myself, slouching on the worn love-seat on the small living room of my apartment. I took another hit from the bong I had stashed under my bed, holding it in for a while before easily puffing it out.

"What the fuck is going on?"

I took a sip of my drink, slowly looking over to my dad through hazy vision. I grinned lazily, holding up the drink in my left hand while my right hand held the bong.

"M'havin' a bomb ass time." I shrugged, taking another few gulps of the bottle.

"That's my fucking Bacardi you little bastard." He snapped, rushing over to me.

My eyes widened and I threw my head back, chugging the last of the bottle just as he yanked it from my hand. I swallowed effortlessly, laughter bubbling out of my mouth at the angry look on his face.

"What'ya gonna do? Hit me?" I teased. "M'not scared."

I gasped, searing heat filling my cheek as my vision settled on the couch cushion next to me.

"I'm gonna beat the shit out of you." He growled.

I gulped, taking a hurried hit from the bong before he knocked it to the ground. I blew the smoke in his face, ignoring his angry grunts while he pulled me to my feet. I coughed, pain filling my gut a good couple times until I was knocked on to the ground.

"You think this is so funny, don't you!" He bellowed.

I bit my cheek, making sure to cover my balls when I felt a hard kick to my thigh.

"Getting wasted every second! Doing those drugs your whore of a mother left me for!" He growled.

I laughed, feeling aching everywhere as water leaked from the corners of my eyes. All of the words he had to say just made me laugh harder because really? Does he know what he's saying? He's describing himself.

"I learned from the best!" I managed to choke out, rolling away from his fists.

I groaned, stumbling to my feet awkwardly as pain really shot through me. I frowned, not realizing how much he was really hitting me. He's always slapped me around, but he's never went too out of control.

"I'm not finished with you." He sneered. "You think you're not scared of me?"

I bit my lip, chills running down my spine from the way I heard the words.

"I'm sorry..." I trailed off, swallowing the leftover alcohol seemingly stuck in my throat.

He glared, shooting towards me in what felt like slow motion. I cried out as my vision went black in my right eye. I stumbled back, knocking into the small tv stand and falling to the ground with it. Fear shot through me when he came at me again and I found myself shoving my foot into his shin hard enough to get him stumbling. I clumsily stood up and ran towards the door, hurriedly throwing it open and staggering down the steps as fast as I could through my clouded vision.

"Get the fuck back here!"

I ignored the demand, instead letting my legs carry me wherever they wanted. When I finally stopped running, it wasn't intentional. Actually, why am I in the sky?

"Woah, pretty sunset..." I mumbled, my body tingling as I lay on the cold cement underneath me.

"Watch it, dude...oh."

I continued to stare straight up, watching the sky spin while my body felt like it was glued down.

"Alex?"

I blinked, focusing on a familiar figure bending over me and blocking my view from the darkening sky. Dark hair just barely on the long side, slim waist, full lips. Am I in heaven? Is Jack hovering over me? Is he going to kiss me finally? Damn, I wanna kiss him so bad. Thinking abut his lips on mine was getting me a little hot. I reached out to brush his bangs back only for him to move away just enough for me to not reach him.

"Fuuuuck." I dragged out, licking my lips before another lazy grin formed.

"Dude, are you okay? Brock was pissed you didn't show up at work." He asked, brushing his bangs back to reveal large blue eyes. "What happened to your eye? It's kind of red."

"Kellin?" I wondered out loud, slightly disappointed. "Oh...I hit it."

"Yeah?" He chuckled, moving around so he wasn't upside down anymore. "You ran into me."

I blinked again, letting a breathless laugh out as I was pulled to my feet with difficulty. When I was finally standing back up, I looked down at him and chuckled again. Shit, I almost macked on Kellin. Not that he's bad looking, he's actually pretty hot. Jack is fucking everything though.

"What's so funny?" He smiled.

Even his smile was like Jack's....

"I almost kissed you." I explained quickly, blinking hard to clear my vision. "Thought you were someone."

He laughed with me although I could see pink filling his pale cheeks. I smiled, raising an eyebrow as I tilted my head at him.

"Are you...blushing?" I asked slowly.

He rolled his eyes, but nodded silently. I frowned, drunk enough to kind of understand but not drunk enough to get bad like last night.

"Why?" I chuckled.

"Because I would jump at the opportunity to kiss you." He shrugged, looking down. "But I didn't know that you're gay too...so I never did."

"I'm not gay." I blurted out, making him look at me like I said something wrong. "Like...gay is okay. I mean...I'm just not gay. I mean-"

"I get it Alex." He frowned.

"No!" I exclaimed, grabbing his wrist when he went to turn away. "I uh...I have lots of sex with girls and I recently found myself maybe wanting sex with uh...guys? Or a guy? I'm confused."

He chuckled, moving my hand from his small wrist and intertwining our fingers together. I cleared my clogged throat, stomach tingling at the feeling of another strong hand in mine. It was so much different that a girl's hand. It wasn't much smaller than mine and-

"Stop thinking so much." He whispered, bringing me to the realization that his face close to mine.

A tug on my neck had me leaning down a bit before I stopped. What am I doing? I wanted to kiss Jack, not Kellin. I can't have Jack. I can never have Jack...

"You still want someone to kiss?"

I barely listened to the words before my body made the decision before my foggy mind could really process it, but thinking about Jack and how much I really want him had me feeling the need for someone and Casey wasn't around. An unfamiliar feeling of smooth was across my lips and after a few seconds, I realized I was actually kissing another guy and it wasn't Jack.

"Let's go back to my place?" He suggested breathlessly, tugging my lip ring with his teeth.

I grunted, loving the feeling of someone else doing that to me. I nodded, letting him take my hand and lead me as I stumbled along the sidewalk with him. The only thing filling my mind being the way his ass swayed in his tight jeans.

Notes

Just for future, Alex does get drunk a lot but he won't be like that in every chapter. Anyways, I hope everyone is enjoying this! And if you want more dramatic Jalex check out my other stories!-Shameless self-promotion for the other ones if you're into them lol. Thanks for reading and enjoying and all the lovely comments! I will be responding to everyone that comments starting this chapter because I love responding to feedback!