Olivia's POV
I woke up alone; the air crisp and cold as I clung to the duvet covering my naked body. All I could smell was Alex, his cologne, his sweat, his warm laundry detergent. I smiled subconsciously as I pushed my face further into the pillow, inhaling the scent deeply. Last night was amazing and magical, but it was also very stupid. In the moment it had felt right and natural, but slowly, as I began properly waking up, I realised what I had done was awful. I had cheated on someone I once loved, I had betrayed their trust and they didn't even know.

Yawning and rubbing at my eyes I slowly sat up, chewing at my bottom lip. The guilt was heavy in my chest and felt like it was weighing me down. This amazing night with Alex, which I wanted to be happy about, was now overshadowed by the nagging pain in my chest. However, it was what I had wanted and I had done it, without thinking about anyone else – which was eye-opening and new; it was clear to me how I felt and what I wanted now. But it wasn't going to be that simple.

I slipped into the white shirt Alex had been wearing the night before and did a few of the buttons up, it hung from my shoulders; practically falling off me it was so baggy on me. I fished through his draws and pulled on a fresh pair of boxers I found, before making my way downstairs. I could smell bacon and pancakes, and could hear Alex humming along to the radio from the kitchen.

I walked into the kitchen and was greeted with Alex moving his hips slightly to the song playing, his back to me, dressed in paint-covered, ripped clothing. A plastic, white sheet was covering a portion of the floor – also covered in paint. He had set up an easel in the kitchen and, from what I could see, was painting a bunch of pretty flowers in watercolour. Seeing such talent coming from him, just the flicks of his wrist and meticulous movements of his fingers producing such beauty on a canvas that was once blank; it was mind-boggling to me.

"Good morning," I said quietly with a slight giggle as he muttered along to the Fifth Harmony hit playing, nodding his head to the rhythm. My voice was sweet, yet coarse from sleep. I didn't know how to act with him; do I distance myself? Do I act normal? I had no idea what to do in this situation.

Alex turned at the sound of my voice and did a double take, his eyes widening ever-so-slightly at the sight of me in his shirt. He gulped and coughed, his eyes finding mine after spending a couple seconds too long checking me out, "Good morning," he smiled, biting his lip. The look we shared said everything that we were too afraid to say out loud; last night was amazing. "I-uh, I already ate," he told me, suddenly looking a little self conscious, stepping in front of his work so that it was less visible to me. I had no idea why he was so shy about his work, it was incredible. "And I didn't wanna wake you," he explained smiling, "...but I saved you some," he gestured to the side where he'd left a plate of bacon and pancakes, "it should still be hot," he assured, grinning at me as I collected my plate, before turning back to his work.

I stood in the door frame for a minute, silently observing him as he continued painting and humming. I had such a strong urge to go over and hug him from behind, and he would take me under his arm and pull me into a hug and explain what he was painting and why and I'd take some paint and wipe it on his face and he'd look fake angry at me as he chased me around the house trying to get me back. Shaking my head, ridding myself of the thought, I made my way into the living room to sit and eat my breakfast. As I was flicking through channels and stuffing my face, my phone begins vibrating beside me. Instantly, I freeze up, imagining the worst case scenario; okay, Derek's found out what you did and he's on his way to Baltimore to dump you and beat Alex up, my brain races. I shake my head at the sheer stupidity of my paranoid thoughts.

I lean over and check the caller ID: Samuel. I let out a deep sigh of relief as I'm faced with a picture of my best friend pulling a ridiculously ugly face – a picture he's asked me to delete countless times but I just couldn't part with it. Seeing that face was so comforting; not only was it not the man I was hoping to avoid for the rest of time, but it was also my best friend – someone I could finally talk freely with. "Hello?" I answered, my mouth still filled with food, continuing to watch television nonchalantly.

"Hey bitch!" Samuel exclaimed down the phone, way more hyper then usual. I furrowed my brow, curious at what was with his enthusiasm, "Have you checked your email?" he questioned, his voice loud in my ear. I cringed slightly, my brain still not fully awake.

"What? No..." I trailed off, confused. Why would Samuel email me? Or was it work? It was the holidays, what could work possibly want?

"OMG, okay," he said and I knew he was about to start an important story, "Work's emailed everyone about this new office building opening up on the east coast," his voice was raising in decibels, showing his excitement, "like fifteen minutes from that hotel you were at!" he exclaimed and there was a pause, I imagined it was my cue to join his excitement but I was still confused.

"So?" I questioned, taking another bite of my food.

"So....." he dragged the sound out, trying to hype me up, "guess who's beautiful face you'll get to see tomorrow?!" he gushed, "Me! It's me!" he quickly stated, as if I was going to bother guessing.

"Wait, what?" I questioned further, still confused. New building opening... on the east coast... 15 mins away... Samuel coming... I was struggling to piece this together.

"Yeah!!" he yelled, "me and a bunch more of Jenny's girls are coming to Baltimore!!" – Jenny Mitchell's Modelling Agency was the company we worked for and Jenny was our lovely boss. "Aren't you excited?" he exclaimed, but his voice dropped a little; concerned maybe I wasn't excited.

"Yes..." I said slowly, taking a moment to think before finally realising; my best friend was coming from LA and I was going to see his face and be able to tell him all my problems! "Yes!" I finally exclaimed and he squealed at the sound of excitement in my voice that he'd been anticipating. "But... why?" I narrowed my eyes, still confused; he'd yet to really address the reason for the trip.

"Oh," he laughed at his stupidity and the fact he'd overlooked an important part of the story, "there's gonna be like a huge opening event tomorrow night! You need to check your email, it has all the details! But, basically, there's gonna be a really cooool party with a ton of hot guys," he gushed, "it was supposed to be like a Christmas surprise, that's why it's so short notice," he said, answering the question I was just about to ask, "and you can bring as many people as you'd like!" he cheered, "so... you can bring that cute guy you used to sleep with!" he chuckled. Yeah, used to. "Oh, but don't worry, I already invited Derek," I could hear his proud grin through the phone.

I blinked, trying to take in all of the information he'd just reeled off in a matter of seconds. Suddenly I was no longer free tomorrow afternoon, but on top of that I now had to face my future-husband and try to pretend like I hadn't just slept with another man without giving him a second thought? "Uh... w-what?" I stuttered, my throat suddenly dry as I sat up straight, a little nauseous.

"Yeahhh, I figured it would be a nice surprise, save you some time," he said calmly, clearly not detecting the worry in my tone.

"U-uhh... since when do you... like Derek?" I asked, trying to appear calm and collected.

"I don't," Samuel laughed lightly, "buuuut fancy parties are his forte, right? Might be the perfect place to try and bond with him finally."

I really appreciated what Samuel was saying, about wanting to give Derek a chance but I couldn't help but feel like it was too late, badly timed. Obviously, Samuel meant no harm and had no idea what kind of situation he'd created for me, but inside I wanted to scream at him. We said our goodbyes since he had to go pack and for a while I just sat staring into space, wondering what the hell I was going to do. Maybe, just maybe, this was a good thing; I couldn't ignore Derek forever, we had to speak sooner or later – I had been hoping for later, but it was no longer up to me.

I abandoned my food and went straight to my bedroom; pulling out my MacBook and quickly searching through the countless emails I'd already received that day until I found the one in question. I skimmed through it, finding the date and time I had to show up, what dress code it was, what time to tell my guests to arrive and where the event would be held. They disclosed all this information about wanting to expand their business to the east coast to recruit more models as well as broadening their current clients' horizons. It sounded a lot like what my father was doing with his business; it was a smart idea professionally, but this meant a lot of different things to me personally. A building on the east coast? All I could think about was how excited Derek would be; this basically sealed my fate in terms of moving to New York – I no longer had an excuse to stay in LA.

My mind was racing, I didn't know what to think. I, of course, wanted Alex there, but how would I deal with him and Derek in the same room? It just seemed impossible. I threw on a pair of jeans and some ankle boots; still wearing Alex's shirt and underwear, and ran down stairs. I yelled to Alex that I was going for a walk – which was partially true – and exited the apartment complex. I didn't really know anyone in the city and so the closest thing I had to a best friend – bar Alex – was Jack. I could remember the route to his bar vividly and, although it was like a thirty minute walk, I made my way in that direction; unsure of whether they'd even be open or if Jack would even be there. I knew they served food but it was still fairly early, but I figured if it wasn't open maybe Jack would still be there, getting it ready for opening.

Once I got to bar I could tell they were just about opening up, Jack was busy setting up tables outside – not that anyone would want to sit and eat in the freezing cold – but he spotted me as soon as I came into his eyeline; his eyes instantly lighting up. "Hey!" he yelled over the traffic, walking to meet me. He must've noticed the look on my face because he raised an eyebrow in question, "what's up?" he asked, putting an arm around my shoulders and dragging me inside. The place was the emptiest I'd ever seen it; only a few older men sat drinking at the bar. Jack took me over to a table in the corner and sat across from me, very concerned. "Is everything okay?"

"I need someone to talk to..." I chewed at my cheek, "and I was just wondering if we could pretend that we're back in high school and we're best friends again and it's totally not weird that I'm about to tell you some personal stuff," I exhaled through my nose nervously, flitting glances from my hands up to his face.

"Of course," he smiled sincerely, "you can tell me anything, whenever," he assured me, reaching across the table and resting a hand on my cold one, "what's wrong?" he repeated.

"I did something stupid..." I admitted, shaking my head. I felt ashamed as I prepared myself to admit what I'd done, but the shame mostly stemmed from telling other people; I didn't actually regret what I'd done, but I knew it was a terrible thing to do. I took a deep breath and looked Jack in his brown, worried eyes. "Me and Alex slept together last night..." I finally breathed. It was such a relief to say it out loud to someone, but I knew admitting it just made it more real and a lot harder to ignore.

"What?!" Jack yelled, his eyes wide, his mouth agape. I shushed him, looking around the empty bar, still nervous someone would hear us. "Okay..." Jack trailed off, his eyes wandering as he tried to come to terms with what I'd just told him. "S-so... what does that mean? For you and him?"

I gulped and looked away, "I... I don't know," shaking my head. "...but I need to work it out by tomorrow night," I sighed, distress showing.

"Why?" Jack queried, although it was clear he was still fixated on the first piece of information I had told him.

I licked my lips nervously, "well, my agency's having this fancy party tomorrow night and I need to bring people and I was going to invite all of you guys," Jack's eyes widened at the thought of a party filled with hot models, "but Derek's already been invited," I continued, raising my eyebrows.

Jack's face dropped as he realised what I'd just said, "Oh..." he breathed, looking more worried than before. "Are you going to tell Alex?" Jack asked after a moment of silence.

"I guess," I shrugged, "I can't just surprise him like oh hey, Alex – the guy I just slept with – meet my fiancé – the guy I'm supposed to marry," I mocked, acting out a scene.

Jack gulped and bit his lip, seemingly just as confused as me, "Well... what is it with you and Alex?" he finally asked, his prying eyes watching me as I felt tears threaten to spill over the precipice of my waterline. "Do you have feelings for him?"

"Yeah..." I said shakily, my voice cracking a little as I looked down; my head in my hands, "but I can't, I'm engaged!" I cried out, mostly at myself.

Jack stayed silent for a little while, but I knew he was watching me sympathetically, "I think you need to talk to Alex," he finally said, his voice gentle and low.

I nodded; he was right, I did need to talk to Alex, but what did I say? I could either lie to myself and tell him we'd made a mistake or I could be honest with him and break the heart of the man who I'd spent a long time with. "You're right," I sighed, looking up and giving him a small, thankful smile. It felt great to tell someone what had happened, but I still felt just as confused as I had before.

Jack ordered me a cab and gave the driver Alex's address. He kissed my forehead and wished me luck as he helped me into the car and waved me away.

When I finally got home, exhausted and still confused, Alex turned to look at me and smiled. He was still painting, but now he had a dash of white paint along his forehead and some green on his cheek. I could help but smile; he looked adorable. How had he even managed that? I wanted to walk over to him and wrap an arm around his neck and attempt to smudge the paint off his face, and he could lift me up and joke that it was all part of the look he was going for. I shook my head; my imagination kept running away with itself and making my heart ache because none of it was real.

"Hey, are you free tomorrow night?" I asked as I leaned against the kitchen door frame. I realised it sounded like I was asking him out, which I kind of wished I was.

"Uh... yeah?" he responded, putting down the brush and mixing palette he was holding, "why?" he questioned, curious.

"Oh... err..." I stuttered, unsure of how to go about inviting him, "my agency's opening a new building really close by and they're having a little opening party for it, and they want me to bring some guests, so I was just wondering..." I shrugged, "do you wanna come? You can bring the guys!"I say, trying to make it sound more fun than it really would be, "and Cass and Amelia – they'll enjoy it," I ramble, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh, that sounds fun," he said casually, turning back to pick his brush back up.

I decide to take this opportunity to slip in the part I'd been avoiding, "Oh, and Derek will be there," I say nonchalantly, turning to walk away.

"What?!" Alex exclaims, causing me to turn back to him and sigh. His eyes are wide and filled with hurt as searches my face for answers, "You invited him?" he squinted at me, confused.

"No, no," I shake my head defensively, "No, Samuel did," I explain, gulping and biting my lip, "but if he hadn't, I probably... would've..." I stumble on my words, nervous for how he's going to react. I was lying, of course, but I had to pretend I was okay with this whole thing. I had decided that the best way to get through this was to just stop hurting Alex; let him believe that last night was the end of whatever this was – it was what was best for him and his feelings.

Alex's jaw locked, his whole face turning hard, "What?"

"Well..." I was sweating profusely. I didn't want to hurt him, to lie to him, but it was the only way I could right this wrong, "he is my fiancé," I shrugged, my breath catching in my throat.

"Yes, I know," Alex said sternly, his eyebrows knitted together, "...just... I thought..."

"Look, Alex," I took a deep breath, looking right through him. I couldn't look him in the eyes and lie to him, "last night... was amazing..."

"...But?" he asked, sensing where I was headed.

"But... it was a mistake," I finally breathed, feeling tears pool in my eyes.

"A mistake?" his eyes were filled with hurt and disbelief as he looked down at me.

"Not a bad mistake," I corrected, "but... it shouldn't have happened," I looked down, playing with his shirt than I was wearing; his scent still so strong.

I heard him gulp from across the room, "Right," he mumbled, nodding, his lips pursed, "a mistake..." he breathed, his voice shaking with hurt and anger, his eyes were clouded with emotion.

"Alex..." I let out, my heart aching, "I'm engag-"

"Engaged, I know," he snapped, interrupting me in agitation. I watched him for a couple minutes, watching his every move as he thought hard, before he looked up and met my eyes, "we'll be there," he seethed, faking a smile and trying to hide his anger, but it was so obvious. The corners of my mouth twitched into a similarly fake smile before I turned and left the room, exhaling.

I had no idea where the strength to do that had came from, but I just knew I had to do it. I couldn't continue to entangle him in this confusing, unfair situation; he didn't deserve it. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, but I knew that if I didn't do it now then things would only get more confusing and harder to overcome. Choosing Alex was what I wanted, but I didn't deserve him. He deserved someone who wasn't in a complicated situation like I was, someone who wasn't already committed to someone else. I shook my head and let a tear fall from my eye. Choosing happiness isn't always as simple as you'd think, sometimes you have to just choose the easy option, no matter how much it hurts.

Notes