Alex

Knowing what Jack had done to Brendon, and so many other people before that, made me so nervous around him. More nervous than I am usually with people in general. I don’t want to get close to Jack and for him to just break my heart. I have feelings for him, but I really don’t want to fall for a player. Brendon went on and on about how he was an expert on seducing people, pretending to care about them when he is only interested in sex. He makes people think that they are the love of his life, but has never committed to anyone, hurting everyone in the process. I don’t want any part of that, I’m only just another piece in the game he’s playing.

“Alex!” I heard his gorgeous voice behind me, and turned around to see his even more gorgeous face.

“Hey Jack,” I greeted.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, rubbing one hand on my back that sent chills down my spine. He can read me like a open book, but there’s no way I could tell him how I really feel.

“N-nothing.” I replied, staring at his chest, not able to look him in his big brown eyes. I heard him sigh.

“Yes, there is. Tell me, pleaseee” he whined, which made me smile, and I shook my head laughing. How did he always get me in a good mood? I took the heavy books out of my locker, and carried them in my hands as he walked me to my next class.

“Whoa, what are those for?” He asked, surprised.

“My honors classes, they don’t fit in my backpack.” I answered quickly, not being able to help my shortness with him. I can’t stop thinking about his past. He took them from my hands, and carried them for me, he’s such a fucking gentleman to me.

“You don’t have to.” I said, walking along beside him as he walked me to my class.

“But, I want to, a pretty boy like you shouldn’t carry books this heavy.” He replied.
He called me pretty, Jack Barakat called ME pretty. I felt him wrap an arm around my shoulder with the books in his other hand, and smiled. I looked away to attempt to hide my dopey blushy face from my crush, but failed as I heard him chuckle lightly at me.

“T-they really....they aren’t t-too.... I mean, they aren’t heavy, you don’t n-need to-”

“Have I ever told you how fucking adorable your accent is?” He interrupted my nervous rambling, I felt my face get even hotter as he complimented me again.
I glanced up at him, who was staring at me with a big grin on his face, and quickly looked down again, making Jack laugh. He’s so hot. Oh my god, he is talking about me, my accent, he found my stupid articulation of words adorable. Wait, he’s a player, can’t have any feelings for him.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous, Lex” he breathed, looking at me directly in the eyes, in awe.

“Shhh” I insisted, using both of my sleeve covered hands to hide my face. Ugh, please stop complimenting me, I’m going to explode with happiness.

“Nooo.” He chuckled, pinning me up against the wall right next to the door of my next class. He opened his mouth to say something else, but I put my hand over his lips so he couldn’t talk.

“Bye Jack,” I mumbled, and took my books from him. He sighed, and scrunched up his nose in annoyance, making my heart flutter. He. Is. So. Sexy.

“Bye cutie,” he answered, winking at me.

“Stop!” I begged, making him laugh once again.

“Never.” Jack leaned in even closer to me, reaching in closer than any boy has ever been to my face before. Oh no, don’t kiss me.

“Bye!” I squeaked, and ducked under Jack’s arm that was rested on the wall, pinning me against it, and walked into my classroom with a bright red face. He’s just a flirt, he’s just a flirt, he’s just a flirt...

---

I got home later, not being able to wipe a big smile on my face I had on it all day. Jack made me feel lighter than air, he’s the one person in the world that makes me feel amazing about who I am. My parents would kill me if they ever found out, Brendon just tells me who to like, and how to feel, but I can be myself with Jack. He accepts me and my awkwardness, and makes me feel good, and I think he might even care about me.

I felt so lucky to know him, and I was pouring out my heart and soul in my songwriting, expressing all my emotions in well thought out lyrics. I’ve already written a few songs, Jack was giving me so many ideas, he was really inspiring me. Now I just have to put chords to them on my guitar and-

“Alex, you haven’t touched your dinner! It’s your favorite, chicken and rice! What’s going on?” My mom interrupted my thoughts . First of all, chicken and rice is not my favorite, and I would never tell her what I was really thinking about.

“It’s nothing.” I mumbled.

My parents gave me a weird look, and my brother Tom smirked at me, like he could completely tell what I was thinking.
Tom was the only other person, besides Brendon, who knew about my sexuality, and I knew his. He was gay, and had a boyfriend at college, but he came here every weekend because we both help each other out.
He has anxiety and severe panic attacks just like me, but he is also depressed, because he is so sad and scared about the inevitable hatred of our family when they find out he is gay. It bothers him a lot more than it bothers me, he cares about our parents, and I don’t give a crap about them.
Tom is my best friend and we need each other, he understands me more than anyone else does, because he has been, or is going through everything I am right now. They are constantly giving him crap about finding a girlfriend to settle down with, and how his has never had one, he just takes it. There’s nothing else he could do.

“I know what he’s thinking about, did you meet some girl at school, Alex?” Dad asked.

“Uhhhh…”

“Oh, sweetie what’s her name? This is so exciting, you have to invite her over!” Mom exclaimed, getting carried away out of nothing, like always. They are both so desperate for one of us to have a relationship, they blow things way out of proportion.

“I was just thinking about homework, not a girl.” I lied, well not a complete lie. I definitely wasn’t thinking about a girl, that’s for sure. Both their faces dulled with disappointment, I’m used to those looks by now.

“You should start putting yourself out there Alex, I know you’re shy, but you have to make SOME friends. This is your senior year of high school, your last to chance to turn it around and get to know people.” Dad told me. He acts like social anxiety is a choice,he doesn’t understand.

“You’re a good looking kid, I’m sure all of the girls have crushes on you.” Mom added.

“Oh yeah, ALL the girls had crushes on Alex back home.” Tom claimed, giving me a playful glance. Asshole, back home everyone bullied me for being gay, no girl liked me. I came home with bruises, black eyes and nose bleeds that were unexplainable to my parents.

“You don’t want to end up 21 without ever having a girlfriend, like Tom here.” Dad laughed.

“You know it, Dad!” Tom agreed, pointing at him with fake enthusiasm. I glared at him.

“Just, promise me you will find someone this year, Alex?”

“Oh, don’t worry Mom, I’m working on it” I told her, Tom spit out his water in shock.



I went straight back to my room to finish what I was working on, but as soon as I closed the door, Tom opened it back up, and closed it behind him fast.

“Tell me absolutely everything about him.” Tom demanded, and sat down on my bed.

“What? How do you know there’s a him?” I asked.

“Please, you’ve been spacey and never focused whenever I try to talk to you, and you have this dumb smile on your face all the time. You’re either on drugs, or on top of some hot guy, wait, you’re so a bottom-”

“Whatever! There is a guy, but it’s not like we are dating or anything.” I said, sitting on the bed next to him.

“Well then, tell me his name at least.” Tom insisted.

“Jack.” I couldn’t help but smile as I said it.

“Aww, you really like him, gimmie a picture now.” I went on my phone, scrolling through his social media to find the best picture of him, there was a lot to choose from.

“Well, tell me about him.”

“He’s sweet, funny, charming, confident, outgoing, popular, and very very hot and sexy.” I listed on, I could tell him a million others. He gave me a strange look.

“That sounds like the opposite of you,” he muttered.

“Oh, well thanks.” I said sarcastically, even though I knew it was true. Jack couldn’t be more different than me. I was shy, awkward, nerdy, insecure, and definitely not hot like him.

“I meant the confident, outgoing, and popular part. But, please show me how sexy this guy really is, find a picture already!” I gave Tom a picture of him next to Zack, both of them holding their guitars, that Jack looked incredibly sexy in his leather jacket in.

“The one with the skunk hair.” I chuckled. Tom screamed, I quickly shushed him so my parents wouldn’t come in. I went on telling him the story of how we first met, and how cute and sweet his is to me, like he was this morning.

“HOT DAMN, PLEASE MARRY THAT BOY SO I CAN SEE HIM THE REST OF MY LIFE.”
I shoved my face in a pillow with embarrassment. I can’t blame his shock, I mean Jack was the sexiest person ever.

“Are you sure that he’s your age? I mean, is he 18 yet? I could date an 18 year old-”

“Tom! You have a boyfriend, and he’s mine! Yes, he’s 18.” I claimed Jack as my own.

“You’re right, I have Mikey, and Jack is your boyfriend.” He sighed, still staring at the picture.

“No he’s not, I doubt he will ever be.”

“Why not, Alex? I mean he’s a sex angel sent from god, but you could hit that. You got a nice body, if you weren’t my brother-”

“Agh, Tom stop! Anyways, he sleeps around with everyone in the school, he has never committed and had a relationship before. He’s bi, and hangs around people that a lot better looking than me, I am absolutely nothing special to him.” I explained, making Tom frown at my sad words. It’s not like I’m wrong.

“Ugh, all of the hot ones are dicks, just be careful Alex. He might just be using you as a boy toy, but he seems really interested into you for a douchey player. I think that he actually likes you.”

“There’s no way.” I shook my head, disagreeing. Tom took my phone, and started scrolling through my texts with Jack. There was nothing in there, it was just us talking about music class and homework.

“He was flirting with you! Jesus, Alex you didn’t even notice!” Tom exclaimed, I shrugged in response. Absolutely not, he’s just a flirt in general, it’s nothing special. I am nothing special.

“HE CALLS YOU LEXY?” he screamed, I shoved a pillow in his face to shut him up.

“Shhh!!”

“That’s so cute” he wailed, and I took my phone away. We kept talking boys for a while, he told me stories from when he was in high school, and ones about him and Mikey.

“Keep me updated on this boy, text me about him everyday, and by next weekend when I come home I expect a full report of adorable high school flirting.” He demanded.

“I can’t flirt.” I said.

“Jack seems like he can flirt enough for the both of you.”

Notes

I gave you a really really long chapter, it's almost ALL diolouge
AND THEY ARE SO CUTE I WAS DYING WHILE WRITING IT
I'm on spring break, so I'm gonna post frequently this week, because I have no life so all I do is write

They are getting close, and Alex's brother approves, it's gettin' serious

How I feel when Jalex is together


Title credit- A Party Song (Walk Of Shame)