Tay


There’s really no pain like it. Seeing the man you love, love someone else. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, being in love with somebody that wasn’t you.
How could he not see it? I should’ve just told him the day before summer ended like i had planned, I was so close to blurting out that I’ve been in love with him since I was 14, but I couldn’t. I procrastinated for the next day, the first day of school, and it was already too late. He had fallen for somebody else.
I tried everything to talk him out of it, telling him that they weren’t compatible, Alex wasn’t trustworthy, he wasn’t good enough, I even resorted to telling Jack he wasn’t good enough for Alex. But Jack ignored me completely, Alex is the only person in the world he sees.

All my hopes and dreams were being lived by someone else, right in front of my eyes. I had always belived that Jack would be the one that I ended up with, I mean he was constantly with other people, but I was still waiting for the day that he would open his eyes and realize that he had a girl who loved him right in front of his face.

I wanted to be there the day he realized he wanted to settle down with someone, and I was, but I was only watching it happen. It just wasn’t me he wanted. I was too late. I was completely convinced after he realized he was just screwing up all his relationships, he would figure out he’s wanted to be with me, and come running.

It’s delusional, I know. I swear, I’ve tried to get over him. I’ve really tried loving others, I just can’t. Nobody compares to how happy Jack makes me, it’s impossible to even think of anyone else when the love of my life was constantly around me.
Zack heard me and Hayley talking about my hopeless love, and got pissed that I had feelings for his best friend while I was dating him. I tried to explain to him, but he just won’t listen to me.
I want to be in a relasionship with Zack, I really really want to.

My love for Jack will just always be a looming shadow over me, whenever I start falling for someone else, he pulls me right back in by just shooting me one of his famous goofy smiles. It makes me want to bang my head against a wall.

He’s so perfect. He’s always willing to help me, or cheer me up when I’m upset, he isn’t afraid to fight for his friends or what he believes in. He never takes life too seriously, he just wants everyone around him to have a smile on his face and be happy like he is all the time. He’s such a weirdo but in the very best way possible, we just always have so much fun together, at least we used to.
Not to mention his looks, for fuck’s sake. You’d think that the guy with the perfect personality, wouldn’t be hot aswell. It’s impossible right? Wrong.

Jack Barakat is simultaneously the most charming and handsome guy I’ve personally ever met. It boggles my mind everyday how he is so perfect, everyone seems to just take it for granted.
If i was his girlfriend, I would never be able to stop talking about how much I love him.

Too bad he barely knows I exist anymore, he barely thinks about anyone but Alex now. Now every word from his mouth is about his ‘adorable’ and ‘innocent’ boyfriend.

Seriously? Innocent? Jack’s the least innocent person I know and he’s with some high strung, conservative, know it all. Maybe I’m a little harsh on Alex, but who could blame me? I was here first.

I’ve seen him change so much over the past months, he’s molded to fit the expectations that Alex had for him, now he’s so diffrent then before. I miss the goofy guy, that every sentence out of his mouth used to be some sort of dick joke, I found his immaturity hilariously adorable, but he doesn’t show it much anymore. He’s distracted.

He used to be flirty with everybody, especially me, he confided in me when he was sad about his family, we used to watch movies and cuddle together. But now, all of that is saved for Alex.
He stole him from me. Hearing Jack tell Alex how much he loved him was agonizing, my heart's never felt more shattered.
I can’t even be mad at Alex too! I’m always such a bitch to him, but he’s constantly so sweet, and adorable. I didn’t think Jack was into having a partner that was so dependent on him, I thought he liked independent people like the both of us are.
Ugh, I hate him. I hate loving him. He’s so fucking happy without me it makes me want to cry.
It’s just… He always belonged to someone else, ever since I was 14, for once I just want him to be mine.

“Tay?”

“Huh?” I asked, looking up from the notebook I was doodling in at band practice, lost in thought. I craned my head to see Jack staring down at me, I couldn’t help but smile.

“You okay?” he asked quietly, crouching down next to the couch I was laying on to look at me face to face.

I can’t believe he actually noticed. I glanced over at Hayley, who was nodding at me like she was begging me to just admit my feelings for him. Alex was tutoring somebody, and Zack had a doctor’s appointment.

This is the perfect time. It’s probably the only time you will have to pour your heart out to him for so long. Do it! Say it!

“I’m okay,”

Notes

AHHHH TAY WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY IT
this was sooo heartbreaking to write, i don't like hurting my characters
but, now you guys know all the agony Tay has been through
so she's not a bitch, she's just heartbroken
plus, it was horrible trying to write bad things about Alex, he's my favorite so I tried to be as nice as possible lol

i can't blame her for liking jack so much, i wish the jack in this story could just like be my boyfriend in real life, why can't that just be the way life works?

soooo, i wanna know your guys opinion on tay and jack
are you mad at tay because she's tried to break up jalex?
what do you think jack's reaction will be when he finds out about tay's feelings?
do you want to see more tack ( tay and jack) in the next chapters?
do you think tay is going to sabotage jalex ?
do you think jack and tay should be togetherr??? :O

ahh so many questions
i just feel bad for tay
we all love jack
poor buddy


Title Credit- Oh, Calamity!