What's My Age Again?

"This is exactly what I needed. A hamburger and a milkshake!" I exclaimed as Kellin brought me my food. He had just come from school and he knew that I was usually hungry around this time. I don't know how he managed to stay so skinny considering every time I ate, he ate too so I wouldn't feel so bad. I felt super fat, like I couldn't see my toes because of my stomach. It looked like I could pop it with a needle.

"And I got extra pickles this time." He said.

"Thank you." Last time he forgot the extra pickles I almost bit his head off.

"Mhmm. So are you ready for tonight?" He asked.

"No not at all. I am still freaking out." Tonight was the night they were preforming my C-section. I barely got any sleep last night from all the stressing I did and kicking my baby did.

"But we finally get to meet her!" He said happily and rubbed my stomach. The baby began to kick frantically where his hand was. She loved Kellin as much as she loved my mom.

"I know. Plus I won't have to feel any more kicks." I chuckled.

"See it's a good thing. What time do you have to be there?"

"I think Dr. Williams said six and they'll start at around seven." I told him and he nodded.

"Well two more hours. Just think about it, you'll finally be able to physically hold her tonight." He said making me smile.

"Yeah, but I'm going to miss having her so close to me. Like holding her in my hands will be nice but she's so much safer in my stomach."

"You just said you wanted her out so you wouldn't have to feel anymore kicks." He playfully rolled his eyes.

"I know, I can't decide which one is better."

"I'm sure she wants to be free from your stomach." He joked. We continued to eat our food while watching TV then Kellin spoke again. "So have you tried contacting...you know who?" He asked.

"No. I don't plan on it either. I've come this far without in so I might as well finish."

"So you're never going to tell him?"

"Um maybe one day not any time soon. I just wouldn't know how to tell him that. Plus I really don't think he would believe me. He probably wouldn't take the time to do a DNA test either."

"Well that's his loss if he wouldn't at least hear you out." He said and I nodded.

"Ugh I have to sit up. My back is starting to hurt." I complained.

"Wait let me help you." Kellin got up and helped me sit up since I was having a hard time doing so. He was my rock throughout my entire pregnancy. Of course my mom helped with everything I needed too, but Kellin mostly helped me mentally. I could talk to him about things that other people wouldn't understand. He kept me company all summer while I wobbled around and he still made time for me when school started.

"Thank you, Kellin." I said.

"It's no problem." He shrugged.

"No, thanks for everything."

"You're welcome. What else are best friends for?"

I smiled and opened up my arms for him and he leaned down to hug me. The baby kicked when she felt Kellin's body press against mine.

"Hey stop kicking." Kellin joking scolded my stomach. He pulled away from our hug and she kicked again. "I said stop it." He said and she kicked in the same spot.

"She kicks every time she hears your voice so stop talking so close to my stomach." I laughed.

"Oh sorry." He laughed and got up.

The door opened seconds later and my mom walked in with Avery behind her. They were both holding bags filled with baby stuff.

"Hi mom. Hi Avery." I said and they both told us hi.

"Sorry we took so long. I couldn't stop myself from going to the baby aisle and buying her more stuff." My mom chuckled.

"Oh my gosh. What did you get?"

"Um a few onesies, some swaddlers, more diapers and wipes, more formula, and this cute little stuffed sheep." She told me.

"We have so much stuff for her. I'm not going to ever have to buy diapers for her ever." I chuckled. I received so much stuff at her baby shower and the doctors and nurses that work with my mom sent even more stuff on top of that.

"Hmm I don't know, babies go through a lot of diapers." She said.

"Yeah I felt like Angie's diaper had to be changed every hour when she was a new born." Avery said.

"Where is Angie?" Kellin asked.

"She has class, but she's going to meet us at the hospital." Avery told him.

"Yeah May too." My mom said as she walked over to me. "How's my granddaughter doing?" She sat down and rubbed my stomach.

"She's being bad. She keeps kicking my stomach." I complained.

"Well that because she's ready to come out. Aren't you?! Yes you are!" She spoke to my stomach.

"Ugh mom you're making things worse." I wrapped my arms around my stomach to try to ease some of the pain from all the kicking.

"Oh I'm sorry! I'll leave her alone for now." She chuckled.

"Yeah I had to leave her alone too because she kicks when I talk to her." Kellin said.

"She's just being difficult." My mom said.

"I'm going to go set up the baby monitor in her room." Avery said and I thanked him. Kellin's mom bought us a baby monitor that came with a camera so we could watch her while she slept. It was going to go in the nursery which was actually May's old room. I asked her so many times if she was alright with her room becoming the baby's room and she said yes each time.

"Are you scared yet, Jacky?" My mom asked me.

"Yes I am freaking out. I just want everything to work out perfectly. I want her to come out as healthy as possible.”

"Yes of course. Plus you get to hear her name!" My mom exclaimed and I laughed. I decided to let my mom name her since I didn't want to choose something dumb. I figured I would like anything my mom picked.

"I know what it is." Kellin gloated. "I'm sure you're going to love it."

"How did you pick it, Mom?" I asked.

"I saw it in a magazine and fell in love with it. But she'll probably go by a nickname more than her actual name."

“It starts with an A.” Kellin teased and I groaned. If it was anything like Alexandria, Alexis, Alexia, or just Alex I was going to die.

***

We were in a hospital room waiting for the doctors to come take me to the surgery room. It was me, my mom, May, Avery, Angie, Kellin, and Kellin's mom in the room. They were all trying to talk to keep me distracted, but I was still slightly panicking. I wanted my baby, but I didn't want anything to go seriously wrong during the procedure. Dr. Williams told me that the chances of anything bad happening were so small, but there was still a chance.

"Hi Jack! Are you all ready to go?" A nurse asked as she and a few other nurses walked in.

"Um I'm kind of scared." I said honestly.

"Oh don't worry sweetie. You both will be fine. You're in the best hands." She smiled and I nodded.

"Okay." I said.

"Alright well we're going to wheel you down to room ten. Who's coming with you?" The nurse asked and my mom raised her hand.

"I am." She answered. I was only allowed to bring one other person in the room so of course it was my mom.

"Okay, you can follow us as we wheel him down there." The nurses disconnected my bed from the head board ready to take me to the room.

"We'll be right here when you get back." May told me and kissed me on the forehead.

"Yeah, and you got this! There's nothing to worry about." Avery added.

"Thank you." I told them.

Kellin came up to me next and hugged the top half of me so he wouldn't hurt my stomach. "I love you." He told me.

"I love you too."

The nurses began to take me out of the room and I waved to everyone as I left. My mom walked out with us and followed us to room ten. They brought me into the room and placed me under this huge bright light on the ceiling. My mom was stopped and they gave her some scrubs to change into for sanitary reasons. I waited for her for five minutes, then she finally came in and sat in a chair next to my surgical bed.

"I'm so scared mom." I told her as tears began to fall from my eyes.

"Oh no Jacky, don't be. Everything will be just fine I promise." She wiped away my tears. "Try not to focus on the surgery and instead on what's it going to be like to hold you your baby when she's finally born." She said and I nodded. It helped a little bit to think of it that way. I just wanted to get this over so I know things would turn out okay.

"Hi Jack. I'm Dr. Casey and I'm going to preform your caseation procedure for you today." The surgeon told me as he walked in.

"Hi Dr. Casey." I mumbled.

"You seem kind of tense. Relax kid, I won't let anything happen to you or your baby." He assured me.

"He's really scared." My mom told him.

"My patients are usually so afraid when they come in but then when they leave they talk to me about how it wasn't that bad." He explained. "It's a really simple procedure. I'm going to make an incision and take out the beautiful baby, which will take ten minutes. Then it'll take thirty minutes stitch you up."

"So forty minutes and I'll be done?" I asked.

"Um give or take a little. I have to wait for the epidural to numb you first." He said and another doctor walked in. "This is Dr. Flynn and he's going to do your spinal tap for you." He introduced us.

"Hi, Jack I'm going to preform your spinal tap so you'll feel no pain during your C-section. So I'm going to need you to lay down on your side." Dr. Flynn told me. I slowly turned on my side and nurses walked over to sterilize my back. My mom walked over and held my hand while they prepped me.

"This won't hurt him will it?" My mom asked Dr. Flynn, worriedly.

"No no he'll barely feel a thing. He might just feel a little bit of pressure as he began to lose feeling in his abdomen and lower waist." He informed us.

"Okay. Thank you." She said.

I waited patiently for them to finish prepping me. Dr. Flynn asked me to lay still and he numbed the area where the needles would go through. I grabbed my mom’s hand as I felt him begin the procedure. The needles being inserted into my back, felt like a fire ant bite which still kind of hurt. My mom rubbed her thumb across my fingers as she felt me tense up. I quickly realized I couldn't feel anything below my chest or able my knees. Once the spinal tap was finished they sat me back on my back and put a curtain up blocking the view of my stomach. It made me nervous to think about how my insides would just be out on the other side of it.

"How do you feel, baby?" My mom asked.

"Okay. I can't feel anything down there." I gestured to the curtain.

"Good." She leaned down to kiss me on the forehead.

"Okay Jack and Joyce, we're going to begin the procedure now." Dr. Casey said and we told him okay.

It was a few minutes before I felt a weird feeling on my stomach. It felt like it was being unzipped. That must have been the cutting part. My mom glanced behind the curtain and grimaced.

"What does it look like?" I asked and she shook her head not wanting to explain.

"Don't worry about it." She said.

I felt more "unzipping’s" in my skin over time. Then I felt pulling and tugging. It didn't hurt, I could just feel something being pulled out of my stomach. A few minutes passed by and my mom looked behind the curtain again and gasped. I was about to panic and ask what happened, but then I heard crying. I heard my baby crying! The doctor lifted her up so I could see her for the first time. She was pink, wrinkly, and crying her head off. Dr. Casey handed her to a nurse so she could clean her while they sewed me up.

"Oh Jack she looks like an angel." My mom cried.

"She doesn't sound too happy to be out." I joked and we both chuckled.

A few minutes later a nurse was bringing over a bundle of pink blankets. I smiled as she handed my daughter to my mom. I couldn't hold her until I was stitched up but she was worth the wait.

"Hi beautiful." My mom cooed to the baby. That gave me flash backs of what Alex used to call me. I’m sure that would have been the first thing he would have said to the baby too. “You okay, Jack?” My mom woke me up from my thoughts.

"Yeah I was just wondering why is here skin so pink?" I asked and my mom lightly chuckled.

“It'll turn to her skin color normal in a few days.” She came closer to me and leaned down a bit so I could see my baby.

"She's so prefect!" I quietly exclaimed. She looked like an old person because she was so wrinkly but she was still perfect.

Once I was finished being sewed up my mom could finally hand me my baby girl. I carefully sat up and slowly grabbed her from my mom’s arms. The baby made noises as I settled her into my arms.

"Can I know her name now?" I asked as I stared down at my little angel.

"Aubrielle Marie Barakat or just Aubrey for short." She said and I smiled.

"It's perfect!"

The nurses brought a bottle for us to feed her before leaving to show her off. I handed Aubrey to my mom because I felt too weak to feed her. She only drunk half of her bottle before dozing off to sleep. The nurses wheeled me back into the room where everyone was patiently waiting. When we settled back in the room everyone crowded around my mom to see Aubrey.

"Aw she's so precious." Kellin's mom told me and I thanked her.

"Do you guys want to hold her?" My mom asked and everyone said yes. I chuckled and she handed her to May first since she was her auntie.

"Hi mamas!" May exclaimed as she took Aubrey into her arms.

"Was it as bad as you thought it would be?" Kellin asked me as everyone paid attention to Aubrey.

"No not really. The shot was only bad part and it wasn't that bad." I said and he nodded.

"Do you wish he was here?"

I sighed and answered honestly while no one was paying attention to our conversation. "Yeah I do. It was great having my mom in the delivery room with me, but part of me now wishes it could have been Alex. I still don't think he’d believe me if I tell him."

"He will. Just be patient." He told me.

We went back to watching May as she tried to get Aubrey to open her eyes. "Aubrey! Wake up sweetie." She whispered and tickled her sides. Aubrey stirred in her sleep and began to whine. "No no I'm sorry, Princess!" May rocked her, trying to get her to calm down, but it was too late. Aubrey was awake now and she was crying as loud as a baby could cry.

"Oh come to Nana, Honey." My mom said as May handed her Aubrey. "Auntie May didn't mean to make you cry." She said and I chuckled.

Everyone got there turn to hold Aubrey and soon after they left she was back in my arms. I held her tightly to my chest and pulled her blanket to cover her up more. Kellin was sleeping on the couch in the room. He was going to stay the night with me in the hospital since our moms had to work.

Aubrey would open her eyes every few minutes and look at me for a few seconds before closing them back up. Looking into her big brown eyes made me think of Alex each time.

"Are you teasing me? Hmm? You know me seeing his eyes through yours is torture, don't you?" I asked Aubrey but she didn't pay me any attention.

"I promise you'll meet him one day. I can't really promise that he'll accept you but you’ll meet him." I told her. "Do you think I should have told him about you?" I asked Aubrey and she made a noise.

"Was that a yes??" I asked kind of shocked and she didn't answer. I needed to rest, I was exhausted and actually talking to a baby. "Of course it wasn't. I need sleep." I chuckled to myself. "Like I said you'll meet him one day." I kissed her forehead and held her back up to my chest.

Notes

I should probably explain myself lol I wanted to write a story that didn't have a happy ending like all the other ones. This was supposed to be the actual end of the story, but around chapter 15 I started getting ideas for a sequel and most of you guys asked me to make a sequel. So I wanted to surprise you all with the news that I already wrote the sequel, I finished it last night! I'm sorry I made you all worry but there definitely will be a sequel posted on Monday! (I need time to check it over)

Thank you for reading and enjoying this story! I didn't think so many people would like it, but I'm happy that you did. I hope that you all enjoy the sequel just as much!