Many Of Horror

Jacks POV

Alex had a appointment with the doctors in an hour and he wasn't even up yet.
"Babe." I said and shook him.
He sighed loudly.
"Alex you have to get up. You have to go to the doctors." I said.
"Fuck them." He muttered and pulled the covers over his face.
I pulled the covers over my head and looked at him.
He was awake and had a smile on his face.
I moved and kissed him.
"I don't want to go." He said quietly and started to trace pattens on my chest.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I don't want to tell him that I feel like I'm getting bad again. I don't want t to go back Jack." He said and sniffed.
" Baby you have to tell him. Otherwise they can't help you." I said quietly.
"But they said as soon as I start to feel bad again they'll send me back. I really really don't want to go back." He said and looked down.
"I'll come with you and explain how well you are doing. Everyone has their bad days." I said.
"I can't Jack. Because even if I have one bad day I have to go back as I'm a hazard to myself and others." He said and sniffed loudly and a couple of tears fell and I wiped them away.
"Baby your not a hazard to anyone. In fact you are doing really really well and I couldn't be more proud of you." I said and kissed the end of his nose.
He smiled.
"Come with me." He said quietly.
"Duh. I'm not letting you face the dragons by yourself." I said and Alex smiled.
"We have to get dressed." I said quietly.
"But I'm happy hiding from the world with you under the covers." He said.
"I know you are, but once we get out of the doctors I'll buy you food and we can come back and hide under the covers." I said.
Alex smiled and nodded.
"Come on then asshole let's get dressed." I said and kissed him and pulled the covers from us.

"This place is fucking shit." Alex muttered as we sat in the doctors listen to Green day and Alex had his head rested on my shoulder.
"You look very fuck able today." I said completely throwing Alex off.
He looked at me.
"Hey, you can't blame me." I said in my defense.
Alex was pretty much wearing a flannel shirt, black skinny jeans, black boots and my beanie.
"You can keep your thoughts to yourself." He said and his leg started to bounce up and down.
"You'll be okay." I said and kissed the side of his head.
Alex sighed and started to mess with my hand like he always does when he was really anxious.
"Alex Gaskarth." The doctor said.
Alex looked at me fear running through his features.
" I'll be right by your side babe." I said quietly and kissed the top of his head and we followed the doctor to his office.

"So Alex how have you been for the last month?" The doctor asked.
Alex was looking down.
"Okay." He said quietly.
"Okay as in good or okay as in bad?" The doctor asked.
Alex shrugged his shoulders.
"Alex I need to know." The doctor said seriously.
"Why? So you can send me back to the fucking hospital." He snapped.
"If its too bad then yes." The doctor said.
Alex stayed looking down but he started to bite the skin round his fingers.
"I've been fine." He said and started to bounce his leg instead of biting the skin round his nails.
I looked at him.
Alex looked at me out the corner of his eye.
"I need to see your arms." The doctor said.
"Why?" I asked because Alex has been on a bit of a melt down the last few weeks but he was able to control himself by doing something to take his mind of things.
"Because I need to see if there is any new scars or cuts." The doctor said.
"Well I can save you the hassle and say that I have. But I have it under control. I am now finding ways on how to keep the urges away or if they don't then I'll go and talk to Jack or my brothers. I'm changing my habits. Please don't send me back there." Alex said and a couple of tears rolled down his cheek.
"I see." The doctor said.
"He's really trying. He's been clean for the last 3 weeks. That's a improvement compared to a few months ago." I said.
"And is what Alex saying true? He comes and talks to you about how he's feeling?" The doctor asked.
"Yeah. He's more open about telling me how he feels. He's changing and Alex is more happier in life." I said and looked at Alex who had a small smile on his face.
The doctor nodded.
"Please don't send him back. It'll do more harm than good. He is really really trying and its paying off, can't you see that." I said.
"I can see that. But he's a hazard..." The doctor started but Alex stopped him.
"I'm not a fucking hazard!" Alex said loudly.
The doctor looked at Alex.
"Your medication how is that working?" The doctor asked.
"Okay. I can now actually sleep at night, I don't feel like I'm losing my mind. I finally feel like I have my feet on the ground." Alex said.
The doctor nodded.
"Have you been attending therapy?" The doctor asked.
"Nope. I don't need to talk to anyone as long as I have Jack that's all I need." Alex said.
"You had to be attending therapy as part of the reason of not going back into hospital." The doctor said.
"I've been doing that stupid shitty mood journal thing they wanted me to do. I've also been using the ways of distraction when I feel like self harming or killing myself, which may I add has been ages since I wanted to kill myself." Alex said.
The doctor nodded.
"Okay. After what I have seen and heard I have decided that being at home is the best place so far for you to be. But you need to go to therapy." The doctor said.
"But I don't want to go to therapy." Alex said.
"Do you have a pet?" The doctor asked.
"Yeah, I have a guinea pig called Bob." Alex said.
The doctor nodded.
"Does Bob help?" The doctor asked.
"Yeah. He really helps." Alex said.
The doctor sighed
"Fine, you don't have to go to therapy but as soon as you feel anything different you call right away." The doctor said.
Alex smiled and nodded.
"I will." He said.
"Okay, I'll see you again in a month." He said and Alex nodded and we got up and walked out.

We was sat on the bed and Alex was sat on my legs drawing on me.
He was also kissing down my chest.
"Beautiful." He said between kisses.
I blushed and smiled.
"What you drawing?" I asked as Alex carried in doodling.
"My dick." He said.
"I see enough of your dick." I said and Alex looked at me and smirked.
"Yeah but you love it." He said.
"Too fucking right." I chuckled and so did Alex.
Alex sighed and put his pens down and lead down on my chest and I kissed the top of his head and messed with his hair.
Alex yawned loudly and rolled of my chest and cuddled into my side.
"Go to sleep." I said quietly.
"Can we hide under the covers?" He asked his eyes getting heavy.
" Of course." I said and pulled the covers over us.
Alex smiled and kissed the side of my chest and was asleep.

Notes

This is so so so shit...
I have been so busy with work, like I no longer know what a day off is anymore...
And shit in my head isn't too great either so its save to say everything is just fucking fucked up right now..
So for taking so long to update..