The Essex Affect

Last month was six years. Six whole years since the worst possible thing could have happened to me and my family. But, that’s the thing. It’s been six years, and life has taken a dramatic turn. The most impactful thing that has happened, was Alex and I were no longer together. We really had no choice in the matter if we could be together or not, things happened, and bam, both of our lives were turned upside down. I remember the day things got flipped like it was just yesterday.

*Flash back*

Alex:
I love you, too, Jack. Forever.

I smiled down at the text in front of me. This boy brought so much joy to me and I couldn’t help but just feel so much in love with him. Him and Nix were my whole life, I put them before me, no matter what happens in life. I promised myself from the moment I laid my eyes on Alex, and the moment I laid my eyes on Nix, that I wasn’t going to let anyone hurt them. I was going to protect them if my life depended on it.

I was a bit upset by the fact that Alex was taking Nix to go and see Oli, but, he is the Father, so I really had no say so in it. All I care and want, is for Alex and Nix to come home to me when everything is done. Because I love them way too much to let them go running off with an asshole like him.

The next day

Alex promised to call me the moment he landed, and his flight was suppose to land at 1pm my time today, and it was now 7pm. What if something happened to him? What if Oli did something? Oh gosh I couldn’t live with myself if they got hurt. So, I did what any worrying boyfriend would do, and called him.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

‘You have reached the voicemail of: Alex! Leave a message at the beep!’

I hung up. Even more confused than before, Alex never let his phone go to voicemail, he would always pick up. I’ll just call again.

Ring. Ring. Ri- “Hello?” There was a female voice.

“Who is this? Why do you have my boyfriend’s phone?” I questioned harsher than I should have.

“Sir, my name is Mrs. Williams, I’m a Doctor here at Baltimore hospital. Can you please name the person that this phone belongs to?” She spoke, causing my heart to drop. Why would he be at a hospital?

“Uh, yeah. Um. The phone belongs to Alexander Gaskarth.”

“Okay sir, can I have your name please?”

“Why do you need my name? What’s wrong with Alex? Where is he and Nix!?” I was getting more frustrated by the minute.

“If you tell me your name, I will put you on the list and you can come to the hospital and I will tell you everything, Sir.” She answered calmly.

“My name is Jack. Jack Barakat.”

“Alright Mr. Barakat. I wrote your name down, just come to the hospital and I’ll meet you and tell you everything. Goodbye.” She hung up without letting me say anything. I quickly put my phone in my pocket, grabbed my car keys, and took off out the door, almost falling as I skipped a few steep steps and ran to my car.

My mind was filled with questions as I slammed the car in reverse and sped to the hospital. Was Alex okay? Was Nix okay? Why couldn’t the Doctor tell me what was going on, on the phone? What if something bad happened to them and they died?! “Oh gosh Jack, don’t think like that.” I said quietly as I entered the hospital parking lot.

Not even caring if my car got towed, I pulled right in front of the hospital doors and jumped out, rushing in and going to the desk. “Where’s my boyfriend and child?!” I was panting by how quickly I was running. The woman at the desk was about to speak but got cut off.

“Jack Barakat?” I turned to my left and saw a shorter lady standing there with a clipboard. I nodded. “Hi, I’m Dr. Williams, we spoke on the phone.” She put out her hand to shake and I accepted. “The reason I didn’t tell you anything was the fact that I thought you would rather hear it in person.”

“Hear what in person?! What the hell is going on?! Where are they at?” My heart was beating so fast I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.

“Calm down, please Mr. Barakat.” I took a few deep breathes and and nodded for her to continue. “Mr. Gaskarth was in a major car crash while on the road yesterday.” I started to freak out.

“Yesterday?! Fucking yesterday?! Why am I just now finding out about this?! I thought they were on a plane to fucking Essex!” I was yelling. I wasn’t meaning to yell, but I couldn’t control myself.

“We didn’t know the password to his phone, and we couldn’t find his ID in the car. We had no way to contact any family members or friends, or anything. So when one of my staff members brought his phone to me as it was ringing, I knew that would have been the only way to find out who this man and child were.” Child. Nix.

“Where are they? Are they okay? Which room are they in?”

“Mr. Gaskarth is unable to be seen right now, but the child, Nix?”

“His name is Phoenix. Nix is his nickname.”

“Yes, well, I can go and get him right now. He only has a couple of cuts, but they were all taken care of. You are more than welcome to wait right here while I go and retrieve him. Feel free to call anyone you think needs to know about Mr. Gaskarth.” With those words she walked behind some doors, leaving me with my thoughts, until I remembered I had to call Alex’s parents. Our friends. Everyone, to get them here. I even called Oli to let him know what was going on.

The next morning

I was laying down on a couch in the hospital waiting room with Nix sleeping calmly on my chest. Alex’s parents and all of our friends were here sitting about the room as well. We all had our few shares of crying, wishing and wanting everything to be okay. Taylor was even kind enough to go to Alex and I’s house to get stuff for Nix. Including formula, bottles, diapers, all the stuff babies need. My mind was cut off by a voice. “Alexander Gaskarth?” I jumped up, handing the sleeping baby over to the closest person to me, who was Taylor, and Mr. and Mrs. Gaskarth joined me as we went over to the woman.

“Is he going to be okay?” I asked in a worn out voice. I had lost it from screaming and crying and I just felt drained.

“I’m sorry for the words that I’m about to say.” She sighed and I almost wanted to run out the door before I could hear anything. “Alexander passed away at 10:48am this morning. I’m so sorry for your loss.” I looked at the clock. 10:55am. The love of my life died in a hospital bed seven minutes ago. I felt like I was going to be sick. I lost all feeling in my legs and fell to the ground, all I heard was a cracking noise and I saw nothing but black.

I woke up, my head feeling like someone put a gun to it and the bullet was still inside my brain. I sat up slowly and looked around the room. I was jackets and stuff laying around by the chairs, meaning my friends were here, just not in the room at this very moment. I remembered everything that had happened, and it made me sick again. I never got a chance to say goodbye to the love of my life, and there was only one way I could see him again.

I ripped all the needles and cords out of my arms and got off the bed, changing out of the stupid hospital outfit and put on my shirt and jeans that were on the chair next to my bed. It was the only way I could think so that no one would stop me as I walked passed them.

I left my room and wandered around the halls, going to the elevator, going to the top floor and stepping off. I took a few more turns until I found a door labeled ‘Roof. Keep out.’ I pushed on the door and alarm sounded. Guess I have to make this quicker than I wanted.

I walked straight over the the edge and stepped on it, looking down I could see the busy streets of Baltimore about fifteen floors down. I could hear Doctor’s and other people rushing onto the roof behind me. I didn’t care. I needed to get this over with. It was the only way I would be able to see the man I loved again. I was about to take a step forward until I heard two voices. “Jack! It’s me! Austin! Please don’t do this! Alex wouldn’t want you to do this!” I could hear the tears in his eyes.

“Jack, please. You have so much to live for! You can’t do this to yourself!” Alan, also crying hysterically.

“Good bye.” I said loud enough for them to hear me. But I was stopped again, this time by the voice of Taylor.

“Jack! If you do this, what do you think is going to happen to Nix?! He is going to be without any parents!” She shouted. I turned around to face them, still standing on the ledge. Everyone had tears in their eyes, even the hospital staff.

“Nix will be fine. He has Oli.” I said with a small smile, knowing that I wouldn’t be leaving him to some random person.

“No! He doesn’t have Oli! You are the one that signed his birth papers! You are the one that is the Father of this beautiful child, Jack! If you leave the state will take him and place him into some foster care! You know how broken the system is, he will get hurt. I know you don’t want him hurt.” I thought, and thought. Taylor was right. I couldn’t leave him like that.

I took a step down from the ledge and my three friends ran up to me, grabbing me and bringing me into tight hugs. I took Nix from Taylor’s arms and cried as I held him. How could I even think about leaving him? My son. Of all people.

I’m sorry Alex. I couldn’t protect you. But I promise to protect our child.

Current day

I wiped away the fallen tear from my eye with my tie as I looked in the mirror. Today should be a happy day, today was the day I was getting married. I honestly loved the person I was marrying with all my heart, but I still can’t get over the fact that I know Alex should be the one that I watch come down that aisle. But my thoughts were cut short by the door opening and three people walking in, well, two people walking, and one short one running. I laughed a bit and reached down, picking up the now six year old Phoenix. “Alright Jack, it’s time.” Austin smiled.

“Yeah dude! The day you get to spend the rest of your life with you know who has finally come!” Alan smiled. “But, if you want to back out now, let me know, I can bring the car around front and we can take off to Vegas.” Austin slapped his cousin in the back of the head and Alan put his hands up in surrender. “Just trying to help!”

“Haha, it’s fine. But, I’m ready. I’m in love, and I know this is the right thing to do.” I answered with a light hearted smile.

“Well okay then. Come on Nix, Uncle Alan and I will take you to where you need to be so your Dad can finish getting ready.” Austin took Nix from my arms and the three of them left the room and I turned back to the mirror.

“Just because this is happening Alex. Don’t think I don’t love you. You will forever be my true love.” I took one last look at myself and walked out the room.

One hour later

“You may now, kiss the bride!”

I smiled at the short girl in front of me and bent down and placed a sweet kiss on her lips. We parted and looked into each other's eyes.

“I love you, Jack.” She said softly.

“I love you too, Taylor.” I replied before placing another kiss on her lips. Our friends and family cheered as we walked hand in hand down the aisle, as the newly wedded couple. Us. Mr. and Mrs. Barakat. A family that was whole once again.

Three hours later

“Alright, I’m going to take Nix by the cemetery, then drop him off at Grandpa and Grandma Gaskarth’s. Then I’ll be back and we can go and get on that flight to Hawaii.” I spoke as I picked up my son and his suitcase.

“Alright babe. I’ll make sure we have everything that we need for the week.” Taylor walked over to Nix and I and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Mommy loves you hunny. We will see you really soon okay?” He nodded his head and told her that he loves her as well. She then looked up at me and smiled and placed a kiss on my lips. “Can you actually believe that we are married? It’s amazing right?” I smiled back down at her.

“It sure is hun.” I place another kiss on her lips and said another quick goodbye and left our house door.

I drove about fifteen minutes to reach the cemetery and got Nix out of the car and held his hand as we walked to go and meet the person we came to see. He wasn’t that far into the place, but about a two minute walk away from the car, and we finally reached him. We both sat down in front of the grave and I smiled at what it said.

‘He lies Alexander William Gaskarth.
A true friend, a loving boyfriend, but most importantly,
A great Father.
May he rest in peace.'

Nix and I stayed there for about a half hour and then it was finally time to leave. “Alright Nix, tell Daddy goodbye for now.”

“Bye-bye Daddy! Love you!” He used his small hand and waved to the ground and blew a small kiss. I couldn’t help the smile that showed on my face.

“Goodbye Lex, I’ll see you in a week. I love you.” I spoke softly and Nix and I started walking away and back to the car.

And that’s when everything finally set in.

Alex was dead. I was married.

But I’ll still hold onto the past.

Notes

And that's a wrap on this story!
Feel free to want to kill me in the comments below, this has been my plan since the story started!

I also know I said I wouldn't be able to get a chapter out for you guys for a few weeks, but I pushed myself. I didn't want to leave you guys for too long on what Krys wrote, and this is the final chapter.

~Jagk.