The Essex Affect
The Boy Who Sings Lullabies
** month timelapse **
Sleep wasn't a normal routine for me anymore since Phoenix was born. My normal six or seven hours of sleep every night turned into a mere hour or 45 minutes; I was lucky to get two hours of sleep on a good night. My hopes of Phoenix turning out to be one of those silent babies were surely crushed when he kept me up all night the first night home from the hospital. Every time Phoenix would start to scream, Jack would stir and try to get up and check on him. My response was to push Jack down and mumble a, "I'll get him" before trudging to the nursery to care for my distressed son. I didn't need Jack losing sleep for school because of my child. Yes, I said my child.
Phoenix was my flesh and blood; he came out of my stomach, and he was created by Oliver and myself, not Jack. I'm not saying I don't see him as a father figure, but I don't think it's really fair for him to have to keep getting up for a kid who should be one hundred percent my responsibility. That's why, no matter how hard he tries or argues, I'll always win the battle of how gets up in the middle of the night to take care of Phoenix.
Speaking of which, it was three A.M. on a Thursday when Phoenix decided to give out his daily wail of attention. I was already sitting up in bed, laptop on my lap, earbuds in my ears, and my online school work up and running. Since his birth, I decided to finish my school work online so I could graduate instead of having to repeat senior year all over again. I set my laptop on the side table, after pausing the Blink-182 playlist I was blaring, and headed towards Phoenix's nursery. Upon opening the door, I was showcased with a kicking baby in his baby blue crib. I smiled through my exhaustion at the sight. "What's the matter, my sweet boy?" I cooed. I picked Phoenix out of the crib and placed him on my back. I petted his shivering back with my palm, shushing him in his tiny ear. "It's okay, Phoenix. Daddy's here."
I decided to walk over to the rocking chair that was in the far corner of the room and plop down. I rocked back and forth in hopes that the motion would put my baby to slumber. Sadly, after five minutes, I came to the conclusion that that wasn't doing any good. I continued to rock, though, as I tried to figure out what would help him sleep. A bottle would just make him cry later on for a diaper change, but maybe he was hungry? No, he didn't scream this bad when he was hungry. After a few resolutions flying from head to mental trash can, I figured out what I could do to help my baby fall to sleep: a lullaby. It wasn't really a lullaby; it was more of a song that was calm and not too rock and roll for my baby to fall asleep to. I went through my mental playlist and decided on Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots.
I wish I found some better sounds no one’s ever heard,
I wish I had a better voice that sang some better words,
I wish I found some chords in an order that is new,
I wish I didn't have to rhyme every time I sang,
I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink,
But now I’m insecure and I care what people think.
My name’s ‘Blurryface’ and I care what you think
Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol’ days,
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we’re stressed out.
I blew through the entire song in three minutes flat, and in the span of those three minutes, Phoenix calmed down and passed out into a sound slumber. I looked down at him with a soft smile. "G'night, lad." I whispered. I hesitantly stood up and placed Phoenix back into his crib. I then scurried out without shutting the door, for the click of the door locking would awake him once more. Once I got back in bed, I was startled by Jack's voice. I didn't expect him to be awake!
"Keeping you up?" he asked in a sleepy tone. I looked over.
"You should be sleeping, y'know. You have school in the morning." I scolded.
"Big whoop." Jack scooted closer to me, resting his head on my now flat stomach. "Now, you gonna answer my question?"
"Yes, he's keeping me up. It's been like that for days, Jack. C'mon." I pulled my English essay back up to try and add more to it before an expected Phoenix awakening occurred once more. However, that plan changed because Jack took my laptop, shut it, and set it on the floor. I looked at him with pierced brows. "Hey! I was working on -- " He cut me off.
"I don't care. You haven't slept a wink in almost a month, and for Christ's sake, you have a fight to Essex tomorrow at 12. You need sleep, Alex." Jack argued. I rolled my eyes with a cross of my arms.
"I don't care. Phoenix needs me at night, and I need to help him. I'll be replenished before my flight enough to get through it."
"I'm here to do the exact same, and that's what I'm gonna do, Alex. You, sleep. Me, I will help with Phoenix if he wakes up again. Got it?" For the first time in all our arguments, I felt too tired and weak to even fight anymore about this topic. I just gave him a short nod. Jack smiled and leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek. "Good, now lay down and rest." I obeyed Jack and laid down into the sheets. The warmth of them took over my entire body. I purred at the feeling, and I pulled the blankets close to my face to the point where I was basically being swallowed by them. Jack was continuing to talk to me, but it sounded like the waves of the ocean because I was drifting into a well needed slumber. Seconds later, I was out like a light.
I woke up to the phone alarm I set which was at 9:30. I needed a good hour to get ready and eat breakfast before my flight to Essex this afternoon. Like I had promised Oliver the night Phoenix was born, I was going to see him with my month old son. Oliver deserved to see Phoenix face to face, not just on some crummy photo. I was going up there for just a few days. I would not only go to see Oliver, but I would also go to see some family that was up there like aunts, uncles, cousins, and maybe some old high school friends. It'd be a trip to revisit what I lost moving to Baltimore a year ago.
All my bags were packed and packed into my car. Now, all I had to do was dress myself and Phoenix, fit in a quick morning meal, and head out the door to be at the airport by 11:00 to go through luggage checks, security, all that fun airport junk. I got Phoenix in a onesie that had zoo animals on it and read, "Daddy's Wild Animal" along with mittens and a hat that had a giraffe on it. I just put on sweats, a tee shirt, a beanie, and my combat boots. I was going on an airplane, not to some galla. Once we were changed, I hurried us both downstairs for breakfast. I just put in two toaster waffles for myself while I heated up a bottle for Phoenix. Both were done in the same amount of time, so I sat at the table with Phoenix in one arm who was occupying the bottle while my other was feeding my own face.
We got done everything we needed to do in the nick of time; we got done early enough to maybe get to the airport as early as 10:30! I loaded Phoenix into his car seat, myself in the driver's seat, and sped out of the driveway to head towards the airport for my flight. I put on the radio to a local channel that played those over played pop singers like Meghan Trainer or Justin Bieber. Of course, since they were overplayed, I knew every lyric to the songs that were played. "My name is no, my sign is no, my number is no, you need to let it --" As I was humming to the lyrics of the current song, my phone went off to alert me I had text message. I gave my cup holder a quick glance to see that it was a text from Jack.
Jack: Hope everything is going well. You better call after your flight!
I smiled; he was always so protective. I decided that texting him back while driving wouldn't hurt. I unlocked my phone and quickly started texting him back while giving short glances up at the road to make sure I wasn't running into anything. I got through the first text without ramming into another car or tree.
Alex: Everything's fun, butt head. I promise I will once I get to Oliver's.
I put my phone down and started paying attention to the road once more. I looked back in the rear view mirror to see my baby sound asleep. It warmed my heart. I turned down a road to get onto the major highway when my phone chirped once more. I looked down and read the text.
Jack: Good. I hope you have a good time. I love you, Lexxy.
I blushed at the use of his favorite nickname for me. He was so sweet. I reached down and started to text him back once again. My glances up at the road got less frequent, and that was the worst mistake I had ever made. Just as I was about to click send, I heard a loud screech outside my window. I looked over to see a truck heading straight for my side -- I ran through a red light while texting back Jack. I had no reaction time; before I could even decipher what was about to happen, I felt a massive pressure impact my left side. In an instant, I was consumed by thick darkness.
Alex's text: I love you, too, Jack. Forever.
Sleep wasn't a normal routine for me anymore since Phoenix was born. My normal six or seven hours of sleep every night turned into a mere hour or 45 minutes; I was lucky to get two hours of sleep on a good night. My hopes of Phoenix turning out to be one of those silent babies were surely crushed when he kept me up all night the first night home from the hospital. Every time Phoenix would start to scream, Jack would stir and try to get up and check on him. My response was to push Jack down and mumble a, "I'll get him" before trudging to the nursery to care for my distressed son. I didn't need Jack losing sleep for school because of my child. Yes, I said my child.
Phoenix was my flesh and blood; he came out of my stomach, and he was created by Oliver and myself, not Jack. I'm not saying I don't see him as a father figure, but I don't think it's really fair for him to have to keep getting up for a kid who should be one hundred percent my responsibility. That's why, no matter how hard he tries or argues, I'll always win the battle of how gets up in the middle of the night to take care of Phoenix.
Speaking of which, it was three A.M. on a Thursday when Phoenix decided to give out his daily wail of attention. I was already sitting up in bed, laptop on my lap, earbuds in my ears, and my online school work up and running. Since his birth, I decided to finish my school work online so I could graduate instead of having to repeat senior year all over again. I set my laptop on the side table, after pausing the Blink-182 playlist I was blaring, and headed towards Phoenix's nursery. Upon opening the door, I was showcased with a kicking baby in his baby blue crib. I smiled through my exhaustion at the sight. "What's the matter, my sweet boy?" I cooed. I picked Phoenix out of the crib and placed him on my back. I petted his shivering back with my palm, shushing him in his tiny ear. "It's okay, Phoenix. Daddy's here."
I decided to walk over to the rocking chair that was in the far corner of the room and plop down. I rocked back and forth in hopes that the motion would put my baby to slumber. Sadly, after five minutes, I came to the conclusion that that wasn't doing any good. I continued to rock, though, as I tried to figure out what would help him sleep. A bottle would just make him cry later on for a diaper change, but maybe he was hungry? No, he didn't scream this bad when he was hungry. After a few resolutions flying from head to mental trash can, I figured out what I could do to help my baby fall to sleep: a lullaby. It wasn't really a lullaby; it was more of a song that was calm and not too rock and roll for my baby to fall asleep to. I went through my mental playlist and decided on Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots.
I wish I found some better sounds no one’s ever heard,
I wish I had a better voice that sang some better words,
I wish I found some chords in an order that is new,
I wish I didn't have to rhyme every time I sang,
I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink,
But now I’m insecure and I care what people think.
My name’s ‘Blurryface’ and I care what you think
Wish we could turn back time, to the good ol’ days,
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we’re stressed out.
I blew through the entire song in three minutes flat, and in the span of those three minutes, Phoenix calmed down and passed out into a sound slumber. I looked down at him with a soft smile. "G'night, lad." I whispered. I hesitantly stood up and placed Phoenix back into his crib. I then scurried out without shutting the door, for the click of the door locking would awake him once more. Once I got back in bed, I was startled by Jack's voice. I didn't expect him to be awake!
"Keeping you up?" he asked in a sleepy tone. I looked over.
"You should be sleeping, y'know. You have school in the morning." I scolded.
"Big whoop." Jack scooted closer to me, resting his head on my now flat stomach. "Now, you gonna answer my question?"
"Yes, he's keeping me up. It's been like that for days, Jack. C'mon." I pulled my English essay back up to try and add more to it before an expected Phoenix awakening occurred once more. However, that plan changed because Jack took my laptop, shut it, and set it on the floor. I looked at him with pierced brows. "Hey! I was working on -- " He cut me off.
"I don't care. You haven't slept a wink in almost a month, and for Christ's sake, you have a fight to Essex tomorrow at 12. You need sleep, Alex." Jack argued. I rolled my eyes with a cross of my arms.
"I don't care. Phoenix needs me at night, and I need to help him. I'll be replenished before my flight enough to get through it."
"I'm here to do the exact same, and that's what I'm gonna do, Alex. You, sleep. Me, I will help with Phoenix if he wakes up again. Got it?" For the first time in all our arguments, I felt too tired and weak to even fight anymore about this topic. I just gave him a short nod. Jack smiled and leaned in to place a kiss on my cheek. "Good, now lay down and rest." I obeyed Jack and laid down into the sheets. The warmth of them took over my entire body. I purred at the feeling, and I pulled the blankets close to my face to the point where I was basically being swallowed by them. Jack was continuing to talk to me, but it sounded like the waves of the ocean because I was drifting into a well needed slumber. Seconds later, I was out like a light.
I woke up to the phone alarm I set which was at 9:30. I needed a good hour to get ready and eat breakfast before my flight to Essex this afternoon. Like I had promised Oliver the night Phoenix was born, I was going to see him with my month old son. Oliver deserved to see Phoenix face to face, not just on some crummy photo. I was going up there for just a few days. I would not only go to see Oliver, but I would also go to see some family that was up there like aunts, uncles, cousins, and maybe some old high school friends. It'd be a trip to revisit what I lost moving to Baltimore a year ago.
All my bags were packed and packed into my car. Now, all I had to do was dress myself and Phoenix, fit in a quick morning meal, and head out the door to be at the airport by 11:00 to go through luggage checks, security, all that fun airport junk. I got Phoenix in a onesie that had zoo animals on it and read, "Daddy's Wild Animal" along with mittens and a hat that had a giraffe on it. I just put on sweats, a tee shirt, a beanie, and my combat boots. I was going on an airplane, not to some galla. Once we were changed, I hurried us both downstairs for breakfast. I just put in two toaster waffles for myself while I heated up a bottle for Phoenix. Both were done in the same amount of time, so I sat at the table with Phoenix in one arm who was occupying the bottle while my other was feeding my own face.
We got done everything we needed to do in the nick of time; we got done early enough to maybe get to the airport as early as 10:30! I loaded Phoenix into his car seat, myself in the driver's seat, and sped out of the driveway to head towards the airport for my flight. I put on the radio to a local channel that played those over played pop singers like Meghan Trainer or Justin Bieber. Of course, since they were overplayed, I knew every lyric to the songs that were played. "My name is no, my sign is no, my number is no, you need to let it --" As I was humming to the lyrics of the current song, my phone went off to alert me I had text message. I gave my cup holder a quick glance to see that it was a text from Jack.
Jack: Hope everything is going well. You better call after your flight!
I smiled; he was always so protective. I decided that texting him back while driving wouldn't hurt. I unlocked my phone and quickly started texting him back while giving short glances up at the road to make sure I wasn't running into anything. I got through the first text without ramming into another car or tree.
Alex: Everything's fun, butt head. I promise I will once I get to Oliver's.
I put my phone down and started paying attention to the road once more. I looked back in the rear view mirror to see my baby sound asleep. It warmed my heart. I turned down a road to get onto the major highway when my phone chirped once more. I looked down and read the text.
Jack: Good. I hope you have a good time. I love you, Lexxy.
I blushed at the use of his favorite nickname for me. He was so sweet. I reached down and started to text him back once again. My glances up at the road got less frequent, and that was the worst mistake I had ever made. Just as I was about to click send, I heard a loud screech outside my window. I looked over to see a truck heading straight for my side -- I ran through a red light while texting back Jack. I had no reaction time; before I could even decipher what was about to happen, I felt a massive pressure impact my left side. In an instant, I was consumed by thick darkness.
Alex's text: I love you, too, Jack. Forever.
Notes
hey guys! like i promised, here's the chapter update!
remember how i warned y'all bree and i had some pretty dramatic stuff planned for this story? yeah, it's starting now lol.
WE ALSO KNOW HOW BREE AND I LOVE FUCKING CLIFFHANGERS :DDDD
Until next time!
Side Note: don't text and drive. don't be alex.
xoxo krys
@ApathyforSympathy
@ashleywinter
@SophieGaskarth
I'm glad you guys enjoyed the story! Thanks so much for your endless support<3
5/19/16