The Essex Affect
The Boy With Regrets And Broken Heart
Jack
I just got back from Alex’s house, I sat on my bed and read the note over and over again. We did just meet not to long ago, but, I was already giving my heart to him. He threw me out like I was a piece of trash, like I was nothing to him. I was always one to fall in love with someone way quicker than I should, but by the way he was acting to me, I thought he was already feeling the same way.
My Mom always told me that the reason I fall in love quickly is because I suffer from bipolar disorder. I never believed her, but I do know that my emotions get mixed all around and I see nothing. I have an empty heart where I care about nothing because of it, and I’m pretty sure that’s why I acted the way I did when I was over at Alex’s house. I didn’t want to hit him, I was trying to mentally battle myself to get me to back off of him but it wouldn’t work, which makes me glad his Dad came in at the right time. I kinda wish they had beat me up for treating Alex so fucked up like I did.
I was just sitting here on the edge of my bed, holding the note in my hand. I could feel a few tears trailing down my cheeks. Not because of my heart break with him, but because of the way I acted. I’m a monster. I don’t know how I could live with myself if I ever did hit him. Could I even show my face at school tomorrow? I know he will be there, and with the whole Oliver thing that was going on, him saying that he moved here to be with Alex. Maybe he might be going to our school now, too? How am I going to deal with this? Wait, what if Alex broke up with me so he could be with him? I couldn’t handle that. No way in hell could I handle that. I wouldn’t hurt them or anything, my mind will most likely just straight into a mental break down, but, looks like we will find out in the morning when I get there.
It was the next morning and I was still tired as hell. You could tell by the way I looked and was acting that I didn’t get much sleep. Hell, I didn’t get any. I stayed cuddled up in my blankets on the couch watching movies, but then again, not really watching them, just using them for background noise while I tried to drown my demons, but I couldn’t, they know how to swim.
I was already at the school, getting out of my car and entering the building. I got a few glances from people because today I didn’t make any effort in my attire. I would normally have on some skinny jeans, a band shirt, and my hair would be out out of this world good. But no, I was currently in a pair of sweat pants, a baggy t-shirt, and my hair wasn’t touched whatsoever.
I just blew off the few stares I was getting and trailed myself down the hallways and up the first set of stairs, down a few more hallways and finally at my locker. I opened it up and placed my backpack in it, not really taking the time to get my books out that I needed for class, just left them in there after shutting my locker.
I went down a hallway going the way I knew Austin’s locker was at, I saw him standing there with Alan and I slowly walked over to them, as they took notice in me because I reached them. I leaned my side and head against the locker next to them and sighed. “You look like shit.” Alan bluntly stated.
“I feel like shit.” I muttered.
“What’s got the nicest guy in school down? We have never seen you this way before.” Austin asked with a worried tone.
“Alex broke up with me.” I said in montone, taking a pause before speaking again. “I went to his house, letting my ‘bipolar self’ take over, the normal.”
“Well shit.” Alan breathed out. “Did you hit him?” I shook my head no. “Anything we can do to help out?”
“I just want a hug.” I said giving them puppy eyes. Austin chuckled a bit and my best friend wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pressed me to his chest in a huge bear hug. I was glad to have these two as my friends. Alan is a little ginger princess and Austin is a giant, tattooed, scary looking person, but is really just a lovable, cuddly bear. And I loved them.
“You have to be fucking kidding me.” Alan growled, looking down the hallway. Austin released me and I turned around and looked at what their eyes were on. Right down the hallway, was two boys. One with bright teal hair, one with brown. They were standing at a locker, hands held, and lips connected. My heart shattered.
I just got back from Alex’s house, I sat on my bed and read the note over and over again. We did just meet not to long ago, but, I was already giving my heart to him. He threw me out like I was a piece of trash, like I was nothing to him. I was always one to fall in love with someone way quicker than I should, but by the way he was acting to me, I thought he was already feeling the same way.
My Mom always told me that the reason I fall in love quickly is because I suffer from bipolar disorder. I never believed her, but I do know that my emotions get mixed all around and I see nothing. I have an empty heart where I care about nothing because of it, and I’m pretty sure that’s why I acted the way I did when I was over at Alex’s house. I didn’t want to hit him, I was trying to mentally battle myself to get me to back off of him but it wouldn’t work, which makes me glad his Dad came in at the right time. I kinda wish they had beat me up for treating Alex so fucked up like I did.
I was just sitting here on the edge of my bed, holding the note in my hand. I could feel a few tears trailing down my cheeks. Not because of my heart break with him, but because of the way I acted. I’m a monster. I don’t know how I could live with myself if I ever did hit him. Could I even show my face at school tomorrow? I know he will be there, and with the whole Oliver thing that was going on, him saying that he moved here to be with Alex. Maybe he might be going to our school now, too? How am I going to deal with this? Wait, what if Alex broke up with me so he could be with him? I couldn’t handle that. No way in hell could I handle that. I wouldn’t hurt them or anything, my mind will most likely just straight into a mental break down, but, looks like we will find out in the morning when I get there.
It was the next morning and I was still tired as hell. You could tell by the way I looked and was acting that I didn’t get much sleep. Hell, I didn’t get any. I stayed cuddled up in my blankets on the couch watching movies, but then again, not really watching them, just using them for background noise while I tried to drown my demons, but I couldn’t, they know how to swim.
I was already at the school, getting out of my car and entering the building. I got a few glances from people because today I didn’t make any effort in my attire. I would normally have on some skinny jeans, a band shirt, and my hair would be out out of this world good. But no, I was currently in a pair of sweat pants, a baggy t-shirt, and my hair wasn’t touched whatsoever.
I just blew off the few stares I was getting and trailed myself down the hallways and up the first set of stairs, down a few more hallways and finally at my locker. I opened it up and placed my backpack in it, not really taking the time to get my books out that I needed for class, just left them in there after shutting my locker.
I went down a hallway going the way I knew Austin’s locker was at, I saw him standing there with Alan and I slowly walked over to them, as they took notice in me because I reached them. I leaned my side and head against the locker next to them and sighed. “You look like shit.” Alan bluntly stated.
“I feel like shit.” I muttered.
“What’s got the nicest guy in school down? We have never seen you this way before.” Austin asked with a worried tone.
“Alex broke up with me.” I said in montone, taking a pause before speaking again. “I went to his house, letting my ‘bipolar self’ take over, the normal.”
“Well shit.” Alan breathed out. “Did you hit him?” I shook my head no. “Anything we can do to help out?”
“I just want a hug.” I said giving them puppy eyes. Austin chuckled a bit and my best friend wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pressed me to his chest in a huge bear hug. I was glad to have these two as my friends. Alan is a little ginger princess and Austin is a giant, tattooed, scary looking person, but is really just a lovable, cuddly bear. And I loved them.
“You have to be fucking kidding me.” Alan growled, looking down the hallway. Austin released me and I turned around and looked at what their eyes were on. Right down the hallway, was two boys. One with bright teal hair, one with brown. They were standing at a locker, hands held, and lips connected. My heart shattered.
Notes
Happy New Year everyone! Tonight Krys and I are going to start the year off with a chapter grind for this story!
~Jagk.
@ApathyforSympathy
@ashleywinter
@SophieGaskarth
I'm glad you guys enjoyed the story! Thanks so much for your endless support<3
5/19/16