I don't know what part of my body made me do what I did. I know it wasn't my brain because my brain was way smarter than that. The way he said the words super special was enough to make me do what I did. Me, Alexander William Gaskarth, age 18, kissed Jack Barakat. I cupped his cheeks before I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. His lips were soft, and they sorta tasted like the Dr. Pepper he must have had with his lunch. The warmth of the kiss was enough to warm up an entire room. I didn't even give him a chance to kiss back before I flew backwards. My eyes were bugging from my skull; what the fuck have I done?

Jack looked at me with the same size eye balls, and his lips were curled inside of his mouth. I couldn't read people well, so I had no idea how he was feeling. But, I had this sick sense that he was disgusted with it, and he was probably going to hate me after this. I wiped my lips of Jack's soda pop saliva, and I kept my eyes to the ground. I couldn't look at him, or I would probably vomit. "Alex," Jack spoke up with a soft, out of breath tone, "it's --"

"Don't you fucking dare say it's okay. I shouldn't have done that; it was wrong." I was not angry at Jack -- I was angry at myself. I began to yank at my hair, as if trying to tear the strands from my scalp. Jack scattered over to me and grabbed my hands from my head.

"Dammit, moron, knock it off!" Jack snapped. I looked up at him with watery eyes. "It is okay, alright? You don't see me puking, and you sure as hell don't see me screaming at you about the kiss!"

"But, it was --" Jack cut me off.

"Wrong? No. If you gave me a chance to speak my mind, I'd tell you that I didn't mind at all. In fact, I liked it. Really, really, really liked it, Alex." His words continued to shock me. He actually liked my affectionate gesture. But, how? We didn't even know each other that long! How could he think my feelings -- that were too strong to be only a week old -- be okay? Is he fucking high?

"We have only known each other for a week, though. I shouldn't feel like this already... It makes me look desperate and kinda stupid."

"Then I guess we are both stupid and desperate, huh?" Jack said with a sly smirk on his face. I cocked a brow.

"What do you --" Jack cut me off once more, but it wasn't with his words. Instead, he took his pillow-like lips and pressed them back onto mine. I jumped, but I soon melted in the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him closer. I had to maneuver around his nose, but that was only a minor inconvenience. The major struggle was trying not to moan out when his tongue entered my mouth. I laid back, and I pulled Jack ontop of my body. But, the gesture made Jack mumble against my lips and pull away. I looked up at him with saddened, puppy dog eyes.

"Not so fast, Lexy," Jack chuckled. Another nickname -- how sweet. "we just kinda come out to each other about this. Why don't we hold off on all that until... I don't know, a little later?" A little later was better than never, so I nodded my head with a small smile curling on my face.
"Sounds like a plan to me, Jacky." I'm not very good at nicknames, but by the way he let out a short giggle and covered his burning cheeks, I knew I picked out a rather good one for him.

---

Nurse Tay was across my room in my desk, watching as I nibbled on the bits of green beans from my tray. Today's dinner of meatloaf, green beans, and corn bread reminded me so much of home, and it added onto the happiness I had been feeling since the kissing-Jack-incident. The entire I munched on my meal, I was glowing ear to ear. Why? Jack was all I could think about. His eyes, his voice, his giggle, his lips -- everything about him just mad me so fucking happy. "Someone is happy about his his green beans." Nurse Tay chuckled; she must had caught on to my joyous expression.

"It's not about the green beans, but if you want to know my opinion on these green beans, they're a little salty." I giggled at my sarcastic remark. Nurse Tay groaned and playfully rolled her eyes.

"Look, sassy-pants, why don't you tell me the real reason why you can't get that cheesy smile off your face?" I contemplated on telling Nurse Tay. I didn't know how PDA went around here, and I didn't want to get in serious trouble or even get Jack in trouble. So, I watered it down a bit to keep us on safe grounds.

"That guy, Jack, and I are becoming really close," I muttered through the green bean mush I had on my tongue, "and I'm really enjoying his company. He's helping me get through this."

"Im glad you're making friends, Alex. Have you met anyone else here that has caught your interest?" That's when I remembered my newest group of friends: The Red Band Society.

"Well, Jack let me into his group of friends. They call themselves the Red Band Society, and they seem pretty cool. Aside from Jack, there's a girl named Hayley and two guys named Zack and Rian."

"The Red Band Society, eh? Why are you guys called that?" I decided to hold up my wrist and show her the band I was given once initiated into the club. She nodded. "Ah, I see. You seem to be getting around, Alex. I have to say that I'm proud of you. You've come along way since your first day. You're sorta eating normally again, you're speaking up to Mr. Way, and you're making new friends. For many patients, that takes quite some time to do."

"I guess I'm just quick at adjusting." I shrugged. I looked down at my tray and back up at Nurse Tay. "I think I'm done with my food, Nurse Tay. I'm going to go head out to the balcony before curfew." I slipped out of my bed and handed Nurse Tay my tray. She smiled and ruffled my hair.

"Have fun, you. I like seeing you smile; it looks good on you."

---

I walked up to the glass balcony doors with that smile still on my face. I looked outside to see Jack and Hayley sitting side by side. I wondered where Zack and Rian were, but my thoughts were cut short when I could hear them conversing with one another. "He just... did it out of nowhere, Hayl. I don't know why he did it." Jack mumbled followed by a sigh.

"Did you encourage him?" Hayley asked.

"Not at all! I just said he was special or something along those lines and bam! His lips are on mine! I didn't want to make him feel bad, so I kinda went with it. I feel bad for leading him on like that, but I'm not one to hurt people."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, Jack, but all I know is that you should tell him the truth. He deserves to know the truth."

"I guess so. I hope it doesn't hurt him that I don't like him the way he does me. I really hate breaking harsh news to people..." I cut the rest of their conversation out. I pressed myself against the wall and let out choked sobs against my trembling palm. I couldn't believe what I was hearing; Jack lied the entire time when we were together in his room. He...he led me on to believe that he actually liked me the way I did him. That we were both desperate and kinda stupid. Deep down, I felt utterly betrayed. He could have just fucking told me instead of sticking his tongue down my throat.

I looked down at my wrist towards the red band. I didn't need this anymore. In fact, I didn't want it. I tore it off my wrist and threw it to the ground. I sniffled up the running snot from my nose before stomping off, leaving my red band behind.

Notes

Personally, I hated this chapter. I wrote it on a iPad, and I didn't know what to write.

but y'all deserved a chapter so here you go.

since I'm on a iPad, no new-update-Jack-gif guys :c

xoxo krys