What Can I Say

It wasn't fair, I had given her nothing but my love and compassion and everything I could. She broke up with me because she fell in love with me, claiming she didn't want to hurt me. There was nothing more she could do that would ever hurt me more. After everything I had done for her it wasn't enough. Even if it wasn't love, seeing as she doesn't believe in love, there was something there between. There was a spark that was enough to ignite a forest fire within me.

"Look Lex, moping over her isn't going to do anything," Jack said.

"I've been in love with her for years and she merely threw me aside as if I were trash. I don't know what to do without her," I said, eyes glued to the floor.

"Date someone better than her. Have a one night stand. Find a way to forget her."

"Just because those work for you doesn't mean they work for me. We can't even work as friends anymore. She was my everything."

"Find someone better, there's got to be plenty."

"How do you find better than perfect?"

He sighed, taking another sip from the bottle of Jack Daniels that was currently open on the floor. I reached for the bottle of Fireball, I didn't even care how it burned my throat as it went down. It was merely easier to deal this way. It took the pain away, made me forget what was going on. Would I regret drinking tonight later? Probably but I didn't care about later.

"Alex, just thinking about what you're doing. You're getting drunk over a girl right now. Doesn't this seem ridiculous," Rian asked.

"Let me live my life, I'm doing what's easier. Just leave me," I muttered.

"Alex, think about your decisions."

"He has a point Lex. You need to take care of yourself," Zack said.

"Let me live my life. I'm eighteen. I'm doing what is helping me," I muttered again.

"You can't drink away the pain."

"Watch me."

They both sighed, drinking from the cans of beer in their hands. I wanted to feel nothing and this was the only way I could think of feeling that exact feeling. I just wanted to be empty because at least then this whole thing wouldn't hurt. There were two things I wanted. Shay and more whiskey.

Notes

And here's Alex's perspective. So I probably won't update tomorrow cause I'm driving down to Charlotte to see All Time Low. So, I'm on Fall Break and it's really nice and I'm at home. I'm more than likely going to get a tattoo this week and I'm gonna redye my hair (probably black) so it's gonna be a lot of fun.

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Title Credit: I'm Drinkin' Tonight - Train