I told Cass and Rian to leave Jack and I alone while we went in to see Miracle. This was our daughter, and we needed the time alone with her. I shut the door of her room and walked slowly over to Jack. His words broke my heart; I hated that he blamed things on himself. I knelt down beside him and held him close to me. "Baby," I cooed, "none of this is your fault. It was an accident. You didn't crash your car on purpose." Jack clutched Miracle's hand as tightly as he could, and I could see his tight grip was causing his hand to quake. I rested my head against his. "You're not at fault; that man/woman that crashed into you guys is."

"I-I should have paid more attention. I should have tried to pull away. I... I should have tried much FUCKING harder!" Jack yelled, bashing his hand and Miracle's down onto the padded bed. I gripped tighter onto him, not caring if it hurt him or not.

"Jack, stop!" I begged. He turned to me with wide, anger-filled eyes that were drenched in tears. "You tried your damn hardest! You tried as hard as you could have in that situation, okay? Stop!" I began to cry a bit harder now. "You tried so hard. She is in a fucking coma, Jack, I know. But, if you didn't try... she'd be dead, Jack. We wouldn't have her, and we probably wouldn't have you. Jack, you're her damn hero." Jack was weeping so hard that it was echoing throughout the entire room and hospital. I clutched him in my arms now to keep him safe and under control. "I love you, Jack. I love you so much, Jack."

"I love you too, Alex." he whispered. We looked over at our daughter to see her heart monitor slowly moving along with her body looking, as if, lifeless. I frowned at the sight, but I tried not to cry anymore. Jack didn't need ammo added to his fire.

---

It had been a few hours, and Jack and I fell asleep together in a recliner chair. I was laying on Jack's lap with my head resting on his shoulder. My hand was resting lightly on his sling. We were awoken by a doctor entering the room -- Dr. Simms. I looked over at him and hummed. "Hello, Mr. Gaskarth and Mr. Barakat. We have, um, some papers you need to fill out along with some things to look over." I nodded. I took the papers from her hands, and my heart immediately sank.

"D-Doctor, I --"

"Sirs, we have a feeling that your daughter will not survive this. So, those are the papers we will need you to sign to, um," She took in a deep breath before continuing, "remove her off life support." I couldn't listen to it anymore. My body was on fire; my head was pounding. I threw the papers onto Jack and stood up.

"Alex, where are you doing?" Jack perked up.

"Babe, I need air. I am feeling sick, and... I can't sit here and hear that they can't fucking save my baby girl!" I didn't speak another word. Instead, I flew out of the room and into a bathroom. I slammed the door shut and looked in the mirror. Pulling up my shirt, I examined the scar I had on my lower stomach. It was from my c-section, Miracle's birth, and I couldn't help but remember one of the moments Jack and I together when I was pregnant.

---

Flash Back

I was sitting in our shared room, at the moment, with my shirt off and my Batman pajamas on. I was 7 months pregnant (just a week before Miracle's birth) and I was munching on my dinner. Jack had made burgers and fries last night, and I was working on my fourth burger. He came in with a smile on his face. "Hey, little piggy. Still eating?"

"Hey," I shot back, "I am far from a piggy, so you better get out of here!" I gave him a playful smile before patting down beside me. "Come sit with me, handsome. Come cuddle; I want cuddles." Jack didn't oblige; he waltzed over and sat down beside me. However, when he sat beside me, he laid right next to my swollen tummy. He was smiling a mile a minute. I laughed. "What? You looking at my fat self, Jacky?"

"Hush up, mama." He rested his head on the core of my stomach where my, now dis-formed, belly button was. I ran my fingers through his hair. I loved when he caressed our growing daughter like this; he knew just what to make us feel special. "Hey there, princess," he began to speak to her, "dada and I are right here. We cannot wait to bring you into this crazy world we live in. I'm going to protect you with every bone in my body." He proceeded to walk his two fingers down my belly. I giggled at how it tickled. In response, Miracle kicked against my stomach. The skin lifted a tiny bit, pressing against his fingers.

"She hears you, Jack." I admired.

"Good. I want her to hear me, and I want her to hear this." He got up and went over to the bed side table where he grabbed his CD player and headphones. Jack then put the headphones on my stomach and played Green Day on the set. I gasped, my cheeks blushing.

"J-Jack, you're already starting to brainwash her?"

"I do it every night, and you don't even know it, babe." That made me gasp once more. I opened my arms for him to cuddle with me as our daughter listened to the music.

---

I pulled down my shirt to sit down beside the toilet. My eyes were covered with my trembling palms. I could feel my heart being torn from my chest. Miracle didn't fucking deserve this. Why couldn't it be in her situation? I want to die, not her. She doesn't fucking deserve this...

Notes

CRYING

xoxo krys