A Love Like War

Replacing the midnight darkness of my eyesight was a bright, white light. In my ears, I could hear the faint beeping of what sounded like heart monitors. Where the hell was I? I sure as hell knew the drug didn't have heart monitors. My eyes struggled to open, and when they did just moments later, I could make out that I was in an all white room. For a second, I began to panic, thinking I was actually up in the clouds in Heaven. However, I soon scratched that idea because I knew Heaven wouldn't have a salt and pepper tiled ceiling.

I was lying on my back, as straight as an arrow. Cranking my body up a tad, I scanned the room that I was in to come to a conclusion as to where I was. I saw cabinets about me along with monitors, but what caught my eye was the fact that Jack was sleeping beside me in a recliner. I looked down to see IVs stuck in my arms, and God, did it hurt to move my arms. I was in a hospital; I must have been taken there after I passed out in the drug store.

My shuffling caused the slumbering Jack to awake, his eyes fluttering open. When he saw that I was awake, a smile crept on his stubbly face. "You're up." he noted. All I could do was nod. The muscles in my back ached horridly; therefore, I laid myself back down on the comfortable bed that held me. I felt Jack wrap his hand around mine and proceeded to rub his thumb against my smooth skin. "You hit the ground pretty hard. The doctors are surprised you didn't have a concussion from your hit." I sighed, nodding at his words.

"I guess it just got to me -- the results." I know I hadn't explained to Jack that I was pregnant. I would have if my body didn't go, "Nope, Alex you need to drop to the ground like a ton of bricks." Jack looked into my eyes with fear in them.

"Alex, what were the results?"

"They came back --"

"Sorry, to interrupt," my, I assumed, doctor pitched in as he entered the room. Could I fucking tell my boyfriend he was going to be a father, or? "but Mr. Gaskarth, we want to go over some results we discovered when we drew some blood from you." They drew blood? I only passed out! "It seems Mr. Gaskarth, that you're pregnant." Wow, thanks for telling my boyfriend for me, lady. I looked over at Jack, hoping he didn't look ill or angry. And, to my surprise, he was actually smiling a little. My eyebrows furrowed together.

"Jack, why are you smiling?" I asked. He looked over at me, and the hand around my own tightened a bit.

"Because, babe, you and I are going to be daddies, soon." The word 'daddies' made my stomach turn. I didn't want to be a father; I wasn't ready! I was 17 and had to finish high school still. How in the world would I be able to carry a child in my stomach for 9 months then try to raise it? I'd lose my mind. But, I remained positive in front of Jack, for I provided him with a small smile and light nod. The doctor continued on with her speech.

"For a young man your age and your size, we will definitely need to keep an eye on you throughout this pregnancy. As for your fall, you only suffered minor bruising on your back, and you may experience some headaches now and then. But, other than that, no concussion or anything. We notified your parents, and --"

"WHAT!?" I couldn't help but yell. I startled both Jack and the doctor.

"We, um, called your parents?"

"What did you fucking tell them!?" My words caused Jack to push me down on the bed lightly, asking me,

"Alex, what's the problem?" I ignored him, keeping the conversation between the doctor and I.

"What did you tell them! What did you tell my parents!"

"About the fall and the pregnancy, Mr. Gaskarth." The minute she told me that the pregnancy was announced to my parents, I wanted to keel over and die right in that bed. Yet again, they would probably kill me the minute they got to the hospital anyway. I couldn't believe this was happening; one thing after a-fucking-nother. I buried my face into my, now, trembling palms as I began to inhale and exhale deeply. Jack pulled me over by the shoulder to lean closer to him.

"Babe, it's going to be alright." I snatched myself away from him, and I gave him this look of disbelief once my hands left my face.

"Alright!? My parents are going to kill me once they know I'm one.) pregnant, and two.) fucking with a guy who is also my boyfriend!" Did I also forget to mention my parents wanted nothing to do with homosexuality and male pregnancies? Jack shook his head, and he gave another attempt to pull me back over. Surely, it failed because I yanked myself away. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and my heart sank. The doctor opened the door to reveal none other than the Gaskarth parents, fuming from ear to ear.

"Alexander William Gaskarth!" That's it, I was dead meat. My father boomed my entire name as he shoved past my mother and the doctor, and I was surprised they didn't tumble over from the force. He grabbed a hold of the collar of my gown, yanking me towards his face. His face was crimson red, and I could feel his boiling breath against my face. "What the fuck did you do?!"

"D-Dad, I... It was an accident!" At the corner of my eyes, I could see how horrified Jack was, but I could also see the brewing anger.

"An accident? AN ACCIDENT? You fucked some faggot on accident and got knocked up?!" That word was one of Jack's most hated words, and when it flew from my father's mouth, Jack shot up.

"Yo, bro, you need to watch what you say!" Why did Jack always have to do this? "He's not some faggot, and I am not a faggot either!" My eyes widened at Jack, knowing damn well he shouldn't have said that.

"What do you mean?" My father now turned his attention to Jack. "I never referred to you!" That's when Jack realized, also, that he had fucked up. My parents had loved Jack since the day they met; they only knew him as my best friend, but now, they would remember him as the boy who knocked up their only son. "Oh my God, you did this to my Alexander!?" Jack was now a bleak white, and he sat back down slowly.

"Y-Yes, sir." I heard my mother gasp at the other side of the room.

"Jack, how could you?!" You could hear the distress and hysteria in her voice; I couldn't believe I was doing this to my parents. My dad was angry, and my mother was hysterically crying.

"You ruined my son's life. He's never going to be able to play lacrosse again, and he's never going to get into --"

"I'm getting an abortion, okay?!" My words just slithered out like a snake; I had no time to catch what I said. My father's face softened, and the room went deadly quiet. I was breathing heavily now with my gut clenching. "I-I'm getting an abortion."

"What?" Jack asked in disbelief. "Abortion? What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean, Jack. An abortion is going to happen. I'm not keeping a baby I know I can't handle. Although I hate the idea of it, I'm not risking this child's life and mine. I want the abortion." My father pulled himself off of my collar, and my mother and him stared at me as if I told them I was accepted into the number one college in the world. The doctor, who was awkwardly in the corner, perked up and questioned,

"You sure that's want you want, Mr. Gaskarth?" All I responded with was a nod. She also nodded, writing down something in her notepad. "I'll go speak to a nurse to see if I can find a clinic for you to get the procedure done in." With that, she left me alone with Jack, mama, and papa. I heard sobs beside me, and my heart instantly shattered when I linked the sobs to Jack.

"You're giving up the baby just like that? You didn't even discuss this with me."

"My body," I spat, "my decision." My father glimmered from ear to ear at my comeback to jack, but deep down inside, I was crushed at how rude I was being. Jack shot up and pushed his way to the door. "Jack, where are going?!" I asked in wonder with a hint of panic.

"Obviously, I'm not really needed anymore. See ya around school, Alex." Without another word, Jack slammed the door and left. I sat in the bed with my heart aching. I lost the love of my life along with, obviously, my sanity. I drained out every bit of sound around me, for my parents were talking to me about, probably, how proud of me they were, while I began to silently cry and soon, hyperventilate.

Notes

ok ok this chapter is pretty fucking depressing

but yes. here's my update. two updates in one day? go bree and krys xoxo

xoxo krys