Melody had me up all night. She was kicking at my sides, and she wouldn't leave me alone. What didn't help was the fact that I was throwing up from my cold. I was sneezing, coughing, and vomiting. All that equaled out to be the worst night I've ever had so far. But, soon, I finally got my rest -- 3:00 AM in the morning. I finally slipped into sleep when Jack began to coo me to sleep. He was rubbing my head slowly and gently, and he was whispering sweet nothings in my ear. It was enough to slip me into a peaceful slumber.

---

I awoke at around 12 in the afternoon. I woke up to a night on my bed side. I picked it up and read what it said. I immediately smiled at it; I was so proud of Jack. I guess he never got the chance to tell me about his new job last night since I was having the worst mental breakdown ever. But, him telling me now was just fantastic. He would be earning way more money than McDonald's could ever give them, so our baby would have more to have when she was born. I couldn't help but smile like an idiot when I read the letter. Checking my phone, I also saw a text from Jack.

Jack: Hey, cutie. I brought home food, like I promised, and it's in the fridge. I love you so much. And, if you want to come by and see my new office, you can. Matty doesn't mind at all. If not, I'll see you when I get home. :) <3

Of course I would go to see his new office! I wanted to see what was going to be his new workplace because I knew it was making him so happy. Just by his text and letter, I could hear the happiness in his words. I got up out of bed, slipping into my sweat pants and one of Jack's hoodies, and I left the room to escape the house. I locked up the place so nothing would get stolen; Jack had been through enough.

---

I was halfway to Jack's work when I saw someone coming down the street. The face looked oddly familiar. It was when the person was almost one foot away from me when I noticed who it was: Brendon. My blood began to boil; it was my chance to take out my anger on him. I stomped over to him and stopped him in his tracks. Brendon already looked petrified; I wonder why. "O-Oh, hey, Alex," he stumbled, "I am just going to the, uh, store for something."

"Well, I was on the way to see Jack, but my plans have changed." My words sounded harsh, but fuck him. "Why the hell would you fuck with my mother? Is that your way of trying to get to me? Is that your way of getting back at me for not kissing you or for Jack hitting you? Because if it was, you're so fucking low!" I snapped. I punched him dead across his face. He gasped, holding his cheek. I guess he wasn't expecting a knocked up dude to hit him. But, what I didn't expect was for him to hit back. He took his fist and bashed it into my eye. "Fuck!" I yelped. I clutched my eye in agony.

I was becoming an animal. Him and I began to have a shoving war; he'd shove than I would. But, suddenly, I shoved him too hard, and he went flying into the street. As he flew backwards, an oncoming car sped by. That's when everything stopped. My limbs froze as I watched Brendon bash against the windshield, roll over the roof of the car, and drop to the hardened tar. He laid there limp. I couldn't move; what had I done? I just... I just fucking pushed someone to their death. I think?

---

He was declared dead at the hospital. I had to ride to the hospital because I said I was his 'brother'. I was in the waiting room of the hospital when they told me he was dead. I fucking killed someone basically; I couldn't believe what I had done. I couldn't leave it alone. I just had to punch and shove him. I was weeping and trembling in my palms when I heard someone call my name -- Jack. I told him I was at the hospital, but I didn't tell him why. I guess he wasn't expecting me to be in the waiting room because when I looked up at him, he was perplexed. "Baby, what happened? You told me you were in the hospital; I thought something bad happen to you." He knelt down to me; he could see that the life was practically drained from my face. "Lex, what's wrong?"

"I killed him." I spat bluntly. Jack's eyes widened.

"What?"

"Brendon. I-I.. he and I fought in the street. I pushed him into the street by accident, and he... he got hit by a car. I killed him because I was angry." Jack's jaw dropped at my words. He pressed his thumb against my blackened eye as I could see tears build in his eyes.

"Alex, I am so sorry." He wrapped his arms around me. I lost it; I screamed my fucking head off -- a blood curdling one, for that matter. Everyone looked up at me like I was nuts. I continued to scream, tears pouring down my face. I screeched,

"I'M SO FUCKING SORRY, BRENDON! I AM SO FUCKING SORRY!" I was shaking like a leaf in Jack's arms. I could hear his light sobs towards my break down. He clutched onto me for dear life. I needed to calm down for Melody, but I couldn't. It hurt too much. I was at fault for killing an innocent person.

Notes

so this was depressing and unexpected huh?

r.i.p.

xoxo krys