Alex’s POV

I was sat next to Jack in the ICU feeling pretty lonely since it was either Jack or Kyle I spoke to and since Jack is out for the count and Kyle was too much of a pussy to see Jack I was on my own lost with my thoughts.

I must of fell asleep in the chair as I was woken up by someone touching my shoulder which made my eyes fly open and ignore the reaction on grabbing my gun as 1) I was in a public place and I couldn’t risk getting arrested and 2) I didn’t have my gun on me since Sir took it from me.
I looked at the person and saw it was Kyle.
“Sorry if I woke you up.” Kyle said quietly as he looked at Jack.
“It’s fine. Think you saved me from getting a bad back anyway.” I said and Kyle chuckled as I moved my feet from the other chair and kicked it towards Kyle who smiled at me as he sat down.
“How is he doing?” Kyle asked and I sighed and looked at Jack as I ran my thumb over his knuckles.
“He still could die. He had internal bleeding from the explosion as well as a head injury. They say he’s not out of the woods until he wakes up.” I said quietly as I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away.
“Go home and get some sleep Alex.” Kyle said and I shook my head.
“No, Jack would be by my side if this was me, but it’s not me, it’s Jack and I’m staying right beside him.” I said and Kyle smiled.
“Hey, do you want to talk about what happened?” Kyle asked and I sighed and put my feet up on the bed and looked at Kyle.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I said quietly.
“It doesn’t do you any good to bottle it all up.” Kyle said.
“Since when did you turn into a zen master?” I asked sarcastically.
“Since you are literally like a ticking time bomb right now. It’s actually scary Alex, seeing you lose it scares the shit out of us.” Kyle said and I sighed and looked at Jack and I stood up and kissed Jack’s forehead.
“I Love you, don’t fucking die on me.” I whispered and I looked at Kyle.
“I’m going for a cigarette if you want to join me.” I said quietly as I looked back at Jack and brushed some hair away from his face.
I heard Kyle stand up and I kissed Jack’s forehead again and we went outside.

“You need to open up Alex.” Kyle said and I looked at him.
“Think I’ll pass thanks.” I said as I smoked my cigarette.
“You can’t bottle what happened to you and Jack up. It will turn you into a monster and I personally wouldn’t want that as you are a nice lad and I doubt Jack would be able to cope.” Kyle said and I looked at him.
“So What do you want me too say? Me and Jack was in the club, something didn’t feel right so I pushed you out with that fucking drunken mess and I took Jack to the back where we heard fucking gunshots. Next thing I fucking knew I was telling Jack that I loved him and we was running and then there was a fucking Big Bang. I looked behind me and Jack wasn’t behind me. I was on the floor and Jack wasn’t behind or beside me. So what more do you fucking want me to say!” I said quickly.
“I’m not going to grill you now Alex as it wouldn’t be fair on you to do at the hospital and around Jack. But you need to tell Sir about this.” Kyle said and I just sighed loudly as I looked down and shook my head.
“I need to get back to Jack.” I said quietly and turned round and went back inside and went back to sit with Jack.

———————————————————————————————————————

I was sat in the tunnel looking at these plans when I heard the door open and I got hold of my gun and pointed it towards the door.
“Easy Alex, it’s only me.” Sir said softly and I lowered my gun and carried on looking at the plans ignoring Sir.
“We need to talk about that night.” Sir said as he sat opposite to me.
“I can’t talk about it.” I said bluntly.
“Yes you can, you can talk about it because we are the only ones in this tunnel. What you tell me will stay between me and you.” Sir said and I looked at him.
“You’ve built this wall around you Alex. I understand that’s it’s your way of protecting yourself but you need to talk about what happened. It doesn’t help you keeping it all bottled up.” Sir said and I smiled and chuckled slightly.
“Jack said the same thing the day before the explosion.” I said quietly and looked down and unlocked my phone and looked at the photo of me and Jack which made me smile but my mind soon went back to the Jack that was in hospital fighting for his life.
I must of been quiet for a while as Sir spoke up.

“Alex, you need to look after yourself, Kyle has said that you haven’t been home. That if your not here then you’re at the hospital with Jack.” Sir said as I looked at him.
“Tell me this, if Jack was Kyle and you was in my shoes what would you do?” I asked and Sir frowned at me confused.
“I would keep my distance from the hospital.” Sir said and I shook my head.
“I know you and Kyle have a thing going on. Now tell me the truth, if you was in my shoes and Kyle was Jack what would you do.” I said.
“I would probably be acting how you are acting now. But I wouldn’t be able to spend time at the hospital.” Sir said.
“But I would also talk to someone, I would probably come and talk to either you or Jack.” Sir said and I frowned at him confused.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because you, Kyle and Jack are the best people I’ve ever had. I have complete trust in all 3 of you to complete the task you have been signed to do and that you’ll plan carefully enough not to get yourself killed. You 3 take risks but you always make sure that they aren’t stupid risks.” Sir said and I just nodded as I lent forward in my chair.
“Also to be honest, your fucking scary when you lose your shit.” Sir said and I chuckled as I looked at him.
“I could come to either of you 3 and say stuff to you and I will know that you won’t tell nobody else other than Jack and Kyle. You 3 are like a little group.” Sir said and I smiled and looked at the tattoo on the back of my hand.
“Okay, you don’t want to talk, I won’t push you.” Sir said as he got up and I got up as well which made Sir look at me.
“Go and visit Jack at the hospital and then I’ll talk.” I said seriously and Sir nodded.
“Okay.” Sir said and he walked off and I just sighed loudly and picked my stuff up and went back to the hospital to sit with Jack.

———————————————————————————————————————

“So something creepy happened tonight.” I said to Jack as Kyle had gone home and I was on my own, like most nights when I sat with Jack at the hospital.
“Think Sir has gone soft since he started fucking your brother.” I said as I looked at Jack and smiled sadly.
“Please wake up Jack, I need you too wake up now. This is fucking stupid now. It’s been 3 days already just wake the fuck up.” I said as I stood up and climbed onto the bed being careful of the wires and tubes which was round Jack and cuddled into his side which felt strange as recently it’s been Jack who wanted the cuddles when we go to bed.

“Night babe, I’ll be right beside you when you wake up. I love you.” I whispered and kissed his chest and I tried to fall asleep.

Notes