Can't Help Who I Fall For

“Yo, Alex, I gotta talk to you,” Franceschi said as he walked up to our lunch table on Thursday afternoon. When I glanced up at him, he jabbed his thumb to his right and tilted his head that way as well before turning and walking away, obviously expecting me to follow behind. With a sigh, I was moving after him.

It was a little too cool outside, meaning that not many people were willing to brave it, and a concrete table under a patio was where he brought me. He didn’t say a single word as he pointed to one of the seats, nor after I looked up at him expectantly. Franceschi was staring at the way we’d come, and it didn’t make much sense until I heard—

“Seriously, guys, it’s cold out here.”

My head shot up in the direction the words had come from, consequently being right where Franceschi was already looking. Jack was struggling in Dawson and Merrick’s hold as the two dragged him toward me and Josh. The struggling only managed to become more violent when we made eye contact.

“What’s he doing here? Why are you doing this? I told you that I don’t want to see him when I don’t have to!” he whined, and that had me looking away and biting at my lip. His words were icier than the frigid air.

“There’s something we all need to talk about,” Rian said when they finally reached us and shoved Jack down on the bench across from me. Both held Jack down as Franceschi’s hands moved to my shoulders, his grip tight. “We all need to talk about it now and we all need to talk about it together. Once it’s out in the open, you can both do whatever the fuck you want. For now, you just need to listen.”

When neither of us said anything, Josh decided it was his turn to speak up.

“Jack, you know just as well as all of us here that Alex and Oli don’t quite get along, right?” he asked. Jack nodded. “Do you know why that is, mate?” A shake of the head that time. “Well, Alex here is too stupid to just come out with it. Isn’t that right?” Everyone, myself included, gave a short nod at that.

“He meant well by keeping you in the dark, Jack,” Josh continued. “See, Alex won’t tell you what happened, but I don’t have a problem with it.” As I opened my mouth to protest, his right hand shifted to pinch my neck harshly.

“It was back near the end of junior high. Shitty year for everyone, I’ll admit, but the thing about that year was the fact that I wasn’t Alex’s best friend. More just a sort of acquaintance at the time, really. His best friend at the time was Oli. They told each other everything, just like all good best friends do. They were pretty much attached at the hip, and it was kind of disgusting to witness. Anyone would’ve thought that they were together or something if they didn’t know better.

“With around a month left until the end of the school year, they were both talking and realized they had a crush on the same person—Ashley. Pretty girl, I’ll admit. I think everyone had a crush on her at the time. Alex and Oli, being the idiots they are, decided that they would both pursue her. If she picked one of them then that was great and the other would get over it, just like how they’d get over it if she happened to be into someone else.

“With only a week until finals were set to begin, Alex asked her out. That went against their rules—she had to ask one of them out. Alex lied about it because he didn’t want to lose his newest girlfriend or his best friend. Oli found out about it.

“At first, Oli was hurt, kind of like you were… are… about being lied to by the person he thought he could trust the most. Then, he decided he wasn’t going to give up on Ashley. Instead, he was just gonna have to try harder.

“After a while, well into summer, it worked. Of course, Oli wasn’t just satisfied with that. Alex had become mad at him for what he’d done, and they’d had something of a falling out, but he was still angry with this idiot here. One day, I think it was in early July, Oli called both Ashley and Alex to invite them down to the park. He told Ashley it would be a date, and he told Alex that he wanted to talk everything out because he missed his best friend.

“They both arrived at around the same time, and it was awkward for a while. Neither of them knew where Oli was or why they’d been told to meet him up if he wasn’t even going to show. Little conversation was made, but soon they’d found some topic that had them laughing and discussing things like they were just old friends.

“Neither of them paid much attention to what was happening as they talked. Alex said that there had to be at least ten kids that came out of nowhere, boys and girls. He told me that they were rude and obnoxiously loud. When he and Ashley tried to leave, they rushed to stop them. They got taunted for a bit, but then one of the bigger blokes threw a punch and hit Alex in the mouth. After that, they all joined in. The guys took turns throwing blows at Alex while the girls did the same to Ashley. He doesn’t remember how long it went on for before they finally let up.

“It didn’t take a genius to figure out what had happened, and it was just kind of assumed after that that, whatever friendship Alex and Oli had was gone. The power probably got to Oli’s head, knowing that he could actually cause something like that to happen, and it’s been continuing ever since. You were Alex’s first relationship since the last one this time last year. Oli hasn’t bothered him, so he sort of figured he was in the clear. He said something about how you liked him, too, so he thought maybe he wouldn’t lose you to Oli.

“The only reason he didn’t want to tell you was because he didn’t want you to worry about something happening. You’re hearing this now because just yesterday when I was in the locker room after soccer practice, I heard Oli’s friends talking about how Oli tried to get into your pants and you told him no. They were making bets on how long it would be until you’d give in and do something sexual with him or if Oli would let them ‘go wild on you’ before then. I like you, mate, I really do, and I know that none of us want to see you get any more hurt than you were by this dumb ass.”

Jack was already shaking his head in disbelief before Franceschi could even finish the story. “He wouldn’t do that,” he disagreed. “He’s not like that. You don’t know him like I do, you just want me to stop—”

“Is what Josh heard true?” Zack spoke up, cutting Jack off. “Did he try to get you to do something with him?”

When Jack nodded, my jaw set.

Rian moved to sit down next to my ex instead of holding him in place. An arm snaked around thin shoulders, and then Jack was leaned against his best friend’s side. “Dude,” he started, tone soft, “I know you’re happy right now. We all know you are. It’s just that we care about you, whether you think we do or not. Zack and I remember hearing all of this after it happened—the part about what happened between them a few years ago. We don’t want to see the same thing happen to you. Please try and believe us when we say that we just want you to be really careful, alright?”

“You and Alex may not be together anymore, but I still have your back. The other guys might not, but I’m gonna do my best to make sure nothing happens to you. Alex is here because he had to hear this, too, and I know he feels the same way I do. He got you in this mess, and he’s gonna be here to help you out of it if he needs to—just like the rest of us. And now…” he trailed out, his hands leaving my shoulders.

Rian stood so that both he and Zack could take a few steps back before the larger boy was speaking. “We think you guys need to at least talk things out. Even if it still ends with you not speaking to each other again, you need to come to some sort of understanding. It was a stupid mistake, and we think that since you both stopped talking, it’s hurt you on some sort of level that you’re both trying to push away.”

“If we see either of you apart before that bell rings for you to get to class, you’re gonna be in big trouble,” Rian warned jokingly. Jack scoffed as all three of our friends walked away, and then it was silent between us. He refused to make eye contact with me, and that just had me looking down at my hands as they fidgeted together in my lap.

With a sigh, I was then clearing my throat and glancing up at him. “I’ve missed you, Jay.” He tensed for a moment before nodding his head solemnly, still not looking up at me. “I, uh… it’s been hard not talking to you. I tried, but… well, that didn’t work too well, did it? I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for my ego, and I’m sorry for thinking that you’d just get over it, and I’m sorry that I’m such a douche bag.”

It was only a few moments before he nodded again, giving me a hushed, “You are a douche bag.”

“I know, Jay, I really do. I should’ve seen things through your eyes before I jumped to conclusions, and I should’ve just told you the truth when you asked for it. I didn’t think it would be such a big deal if I lied to protect you; you were stressed out about your parents at the time as it was, and I didn’t want to be the one to make it any worse by causing you to worry any more than you already were. It was stupid and selfish, and I just really want you back. I don’t deserve you as a friend, and I sure as hell don’t deserve you as anything more, but I want to give us a second try. I want my angel back.”

Jack shook his head. “I can’t do that,” he said, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he gazed back at me. “You know I can’t do that, Alex. You can’t just apologize and then expect me to forget about how you lied to me. It may not have been important to you, but it was everything to me. I thought I could trust you, and you betrayed that. I wish it wasn’t like that; I wish I could just forget about it, but I can’t. You fucked up, and I can’t let you get away with it like that.”

“Then let me do something to make it up to you,” I begged as I stood from my seat just enough to reach over to clasp his hands with mine over the table. I was momentarily taken by elated surprise when he didn’t resist me. “Let me redeem myself. I’ll do anything. I’ll—I’ll tell you whatever you want to know. Just say the word and I swear I’ll do it. Please give me a second chance, Jack. I want to make things better between us. I don’t wanna keep secrets. I’m still so in-like with you, Jay. I… I told myself that I’d get over what we had, but hearing about how Oli tried to… Please, just give me one more chance.”

Jack seemed to deliberate, his gaze leaving my face for a few moments before he was looking back at me. Another thirty… thirty-six… forty-two seconds ticked by before he was sighing.

Then he nodded.

I was so excited in that one second that I almost thought I’d make myself sick. “Really?” I questioned, but it sounded too breathy for my liking. Jack nodded again, teeth still working at his bottom lip. He did his best to smile at me when we made eye contact again, but I knew it was forced because he was still feeling hesitant about letting me back in.

That didn’t stop me from dropping his hands to practically climb onto the table to wrap my arms around him tightly. He reciprocated after his apparent shock wore off, but as soon as I tried to press a kiss to his neck, he was pushing me away.

“I’m, um, I’m… y-you can’t do that, okay? You c-can’t touch me l-like that. I-I’m giving you a s-second ch-chance, b-but that doesn’t mean t-that you c-can—I’m, me and Oli, he’s, um… we’re…”

“You’re dating?” I supplied, not understanding why he said he’d give me a second chance if he couldn’t even be with me.

“Not, um, officially,” he mumbled with a shake of the head. “B-but we’re together, and I’m n-not going to cheat on him.”

“Oh, that’s… yeah, I get that. That makes sense. I’m sorry. It was stupid of me… I should’ve known you were… yeah,” I assured, letting myself slide off the table and to my feet.

“It’s okay,” he replied quietly when I offered my hand out to help him to his feet. I pulled him into a better hug before he could move away, though, and squeezed him as close to me as possible.

“I missed you,” I said again, a content sigh pushing from my chest. “I’m sorry about everything, but as soon as you’ll let me, I’m gonna make it up to you. I promise I won’t fuck us up again, Jay.”

The bell rang as he nodded, and he pulled away from my arms to smile at me before he was walking away from me. My eyes stayed glued to him until he disappeared around a corner between two of the buildings. When he was finally gone, I couldn’t help but jump around in slight victory. I was one step closer when I least expected to be, and I felt like I could explode from excitement.

Notes