Dear Alex,
By the time you read this, hopefully I will be gone. Do not try to save me. Please, just let me go. I'm so sorry, but it is my time. There's nothing here for me. I don't deserve you. You deserve better than me. You're such a wonderful person. You deserve better than a fat freak that cuts herself. I'm only holding you back. You're better off without me. I'm sorry, but everything is better off with me dead. Your fans will be out of your personal life. You won't have a dead weight holding you to some apartment in Baltimore. You're free to live your dream. I'm sorry it just had to end like this. Please, what ever you do, do not dwell on me. Do not mourn me. Do not blame yourself. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. You couldn't have saved me. The only way to save me is to kill what's inside of me. And hopefully I will succeed in doing that. Please just move on from me. There's nothing left for you with me. Let your memories of me die with you. Just remember that I loved you. But forget how you ever felt about me. Just forget me and my name. Don't hold on to my ghost. You're better off without me. I can feel the pills starting to take effect. I'm slipping, Lex, but I'll try to keep writing. Thank you, so much, for everything you did for me while I was alive. You prolonged the inevitable as best you could. I guess that's a good thing. You made the last year livable. But I've reached my breaking point. I know the world will be a better place without me. It would be a travesty to continue living and do the world a disservice. You, as well as everyone in our little makeshift family, is better off without me. Tell the guys I loved them, and to not blame themselves. Tell them to move on from me. I'm not worth anyone's tears. I'm not worth anyone's sympathy. Don't miss me. I'm not worth that, either. Alex, baby, I'm slipping away. Everything is foggy. I'm close to my end. Please, don't miss me. Find a girl better than me and get on with your life. Things are better off this way.
I love you.
-Caydee.
Alex finished the letter. By the end, tears were flowing from his eyes like a fountain. He folded it up and passed it to Jack, who read it as well. When he finished, he came and sat next to Alex on the windowsill and put his arm around his shoulders.
"She was so broken." Jack whispered.
Alex nodded. "I can't believe I didn't know any of this."
"She was really good at hiding it. I didn't know anything. I had no clue she cut herself. I didn't know a single bit of that."
"She put on a brave face. Every damn day, she faked a smile. I wish I could have helped her. We wouldn't be here if I did."
"She said-er, wrote- it herself, Lex. This isn't any of our faults. She is mentally ill. She needs help." Jack muttered quickly.
"I know." Alex said back. The men sat in silence for quite some time. Finally, the silence broke.

"Alex?" A quiet voice whispered from across the room.
"Caydee!" Alex jumped off the windowsill and ran to the side of the bed, taking her hand.
"Why am I still here?" She whispered, barely audible.
"Because you're meant to be here." Alex whispered back even quieter. Caydee began to cry, causing Alex to grip her hand tighter, as if he was trying to hold her together.
"I'm going to go get the doctors." Jack whispered, as if he were crying. He got up and exited the room.
Alex sat down. "Caydee, why did you do this?"
"I couldn't take it anymore, Lex. I could hardly get out of bed each morning. I was supposed to die. I wanted to die." She whispered, tearing up.
Suddenly, Jack returned with the doctors.
"Hello, Caydee. I'm Dr. Wright. This is Dr. Stewarts. We're your psychiatrist and physician during your stay here. Basically, we're here to help you recover." Dr. Wright smiled. The room was painfully silent for a minute or so.
"But what if I don't want to recover?!" Caydee suddenly yelled. "I wanted to die! Why couldn't you just let me die?!"

Notes

I actually started crying, writing this.
i just want to take a moment to say that if anyone EVER needs me to talk, I'm here. Because I love you guys. So message me or something. I'm always here to talk.
xoxo
-Sammy.