Double Take.
Chapter Twenty - One
Jack
I could get used to this, I thought. I smiled down at the man who's head was on my chest. My fingers were playing with his pink hair, I remember him loving it when we were younger. I couldn't help but wonder what I had done to deserve any of this. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol was playing softly in the background.
Alex stood up, stretching softly, as he began to walk out of the room. He looked so sexy in my clothes. They didn't fit him as well as his did but it showed that he was mine. I just watched him as he got a hoodie from my closet and threw it on over his decently built frame. He came back and laid next to me.
I was torn in my thoughts. There was one of two things I wanted the most and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get either. I was craving my poison, I was craving my destruction. I had promised Alex that I would never touch the stuff again. I had promised Alex that I would quit. I didn't think I was strong enough to resist the power of the substance though.
"Thank you for trying your hardest to quit Jack. I know that it is hard for you but I can already tell that you are healthier and doing better," he said suddenly.
"What brought that on," I asked.
"I was just thinking about it. Nothing in particular brought it up. Just wanted you to know how proud of you I am."
"I'm proud of myself too."
I smiled at him and kissed his forehead. I was such a liar, I was dying on the inside. I'd be proud of myself once I gave in and did it once again. I excused myself to go to the bathroom. There was one stash that I hadn't given up, the one stash that would be my savior.
I fumbled around in the medicine cabinet and found the key to the locked drawer. The metal was cold in my hand as I quickly unlocked it. I found the bag of drugs and thanked the heavens there still was some in there. I took a card from my wallet, making the powder into thin lines. I sighed in relief as I rolled a bill into a tube and snorted the substance. I felt free, I felt relief.
I quickly pushed everything I could back into the drawer and locked it, hiding the key back where I found it. I surveyed the area and noted that it looked clean as I wiped my nose to remove any left over powder. I flushed the toilet and returned to the room where Alex was still laying in the bed. He sat up and smiled at me, he held out his hands making grabby hands at me.
"You're such a dork," I muttered as I crawled into his arms.
"But, I'm your dork," he smiled.
"And a cute one at that."
I pressed my lips to his softly as we sat there cuddling. I couldn't believe the most perfect man was back in my arms. I would do anything for him, almost anything. I pressed my lips to his cheek knowing soon I would have to break this embrace to make food. I didn't want to be without him for another second. This next month would be the best of my life.
"Does tacos sound alright for dinner," I asked.
"Tacos sound great babe," he smiled.
I pecked his lips softly as I got up and walked into the kitchen. I began to cook the meat as I heard the bathroom door close. I knew I was going to be alright, he would only notice something if he actually went looking. I began to walk around the kitchen collecting everything I would need for this meal and even got out one of my better bottles of wine.
I hummed happily as I walked around the kitchen getting everything perfect for a date night. He deserved more than I was going to give him but I just couldn't do anymore right now. I was ashamed that this was the best I could give the man who made my heart beat once again. The man who made me actually believe that love was possible and that I deserved it. He made me feel alive like nothing else had.
"Jack," I heard Alex say, "we need to talk about something."
I could get used to this, I thought. I smiled down at the man who's head was on my chest. My fingers were playing with his pink hair, I remember him loving it when we were younger. I couldn't help but wonder what I had done to deserve any of this. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol was playing softly in the background.
Alex stood up, stretching softly, as he began to walk out of the room. He looked so sexy in my clothes. They didn't fit him as well as his did but it showed that he was mine. I just watched him as he got a hoodie from my closet and threw it on over his decently built frame. He came back and laid next to me.
I was torn in my thoughts. There was one of two things I wanted the most and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get either. I was craving my poison, I was craving my destruction. I had promised Alex that I would never touch the stuff again. I had promised Alex that I would quit. I didn't think I was strong enough to resist the power of the substance though.
"Thank you for trying your hardest to quit Jack. I know that it is hard for you but I can already tell that you are healthier and doing better," he said suddenly.
"What brought that on," I asked.
"I was just thinking about it. Nothing in particular brought it up. Just wanted you to know how proud of you I am."
"I'm proud of myself too."
I smiled at him and kissed his forehead. I was such a liar, I was dying on the inside. I'd be proud of myself once I gave in and did it once again. I excused myself to go to the bathroom. There was one stash that I hadn't given up, the one stash that would be my savior.
I fumbled around in the medicine cabinet and found the key to the locked drawer. The metal was cold in my hand as I quickly unlocked it. I found the bag of drugs and thanked the heavens there still was some in there. I took a card from my wallet, making the powder into thin lines. I sighed in relief as I rolled a bill into a tube and snorted the substance. I felt free, I felt relief.
I quickly pushed everything I could back into the drawer and locked it, hiding the key back where I found it. I surveyed the area and noted that it looked clean as I wiped my nose to remove any left over powder. I flushed the toilet and returned to the room where Alex was still laying in the bed. He sat up and smiled at me, he held out his hands making grabby hands at me.
"You're such a dork," I muttered as I crawled into his arms.
"But, I'm your dork," he smiled.
"And a cute one at that."
I pressed my lips to his softly as we sat there cuddling. I couldn't believe the most perfect man was back in my arms. I would do anything for him, almost anything. I pressed my lips to his cheek knowing soon I would have to break this embrace to make food. I didn't want to be without him for another second. This next month would be the best of my life.
"Does tacos sound alright for dinner," I asked.
"Tacos sound great babe," he smiled.
I pecked his lips softly as I got up and walked into the kitchen. I began to cook the meat as I heard the bathroom door close. I knew I was going to be alright, he would only notice something if he actually went looking. I began to walk around the kitchen collecting everything I would need for this meal and even got out one of my better bottles of wine.
I hummed happily as I walked around the kitchen getting everything perfect for a date night. He deserved more than I was going to give him but I just couldn't do anymore right now. I was ashamed that this was the best I could give the man who made my heart beat once again. The man who made me actually believe that love was possible and that I deserved it. He made me feel alive like nothing else had.
"Jack," I heard Alex say, "we need to talk about something."
Notes
What does Alex want to talk about? Jack never gave up his drugs? A lot of strange revelations wouldn't you say?
I got to go to band camp today and it made me sad to realize that it was the tiniest band I've ever seen and we were huge and great even a year ago. Shame how much things change.
Leave a comment and rate if you enjoy :)
- Jess
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
8/13/15