Undercover

Jack had his head in my lap and I was silently playing with his hair. The TV was the only thing that was break the silence. I think South Park was what was playing whatever it was seemed stupid and pointless anyway but Jack was laughing. His hair, despite it being greasy, felt good against my fingers. I was so intrigued by the skunk strands that fell from my fingers that I didn't notice a new person enter the room.

"Lex, can I talk to you," Rian asked.

"Huh what," I snapped into focus once again.

"You need to talk to him, I'll be here once you get back," Jack whispered.

I smiled down at the skunk haired boy that was in my lap. I sighed as he sat up, letting me go. I stood up and began to follow Rian up the stairs but just before I couldn't see Jack anymore I looked back. I couldn't help but smile when I saw him with his full attention now on the TV laughing and smiling at it's stupidity. He was something completely different. I wanted nothing more than to see him happy but I knew that as long as we were running he wouldn't be happy. I needed to find a solution, I knew only one thing and it was that I shouldn't had brought him with me.

I followed Rian into a room that had the curtains drawn which he was doing for my safety. I sat on the couch next to him and I watched his eyes as they followed all of my movements. I felt him lift up my arm which had the bandages that were in need of replacing. He tsked lightly as he stood up to, I assume, grab a new bandage.

"What did you do to fuck your arm up so bad," he asked over his back.

"Dug out my tracker," I responded.

"Without a professional?"

"There was a lesser chance of being found this way. I didn't have time to wait to get here. We'd probably would be dead if we'd done that."

"Well, let me check out the damage. Does it hurt at all?"

"Actually, yes it does. Tell me if there's any damage Dr. Dawson."

"We both know I'm not a doctor."

He gently took off the old bandages, well as gently as he could. Part of them stuck which caused a brief period of pain but it wasn't too bad. He examined it and shook his head again, stitching it up quickly to assist in healing. He covered it with another gauze bandage after a generous coat of antibacterial gel.

"So what did you want to talk about," I asked, looking forward.

"Have you told him you love him yet," he questioned.

"What are you talking about?"

"I see how you interact with him, I saw the look you gave him only a few moments ago. When are you going to tell him?"

"Rian, I'm a killing machine. I'm not made to love. It's not in my programming. I was never supposed to be in love."

"Then what about when we were forced to get married?"

"I would treat you right but that's all it would've been. I've never really had a choice in my life."

"Now you do."

Was he right? I mean, I chose to runaway. I chose to bring Jack with me. I chose to tell him things that I had never disclosed. I chose to let him dig the tracker out of my arm. I chose to time after time go back for him. I've chosen to comfort him instead of try to figure things out quicker. Had I chosen to love him? No, it was impossible.

"You're right I now have a choice, I'm choosing to ignore the idea that I could love him, that's just crazy talk," I muttered.

"Really? Cause you look at him the same way I look at you," he stated, standing back up and walking away.

I walked back downstairs where I saw Jack had pulled the pullout out and he was curled up in the fleece blankets with a clean jacket acting as his pillow. I smiled at the nearly asleep boy and giggled softly. I climbed into the bed next to him and untangled some of the sheets from him. I curled into him, resting my head on his chest. I sighed, thinking about everything that Rian had told me. I hadn't chosen to fall in love with Jack had I?

"I wish I could tell you how complicated things are getting," I whispered to the sleeping boy.

Notes

I finally updated this one too, I've spent more of my break writing music than I have at writing stories. I've also spent a lot of it talking to a guy so... By the way, I have nothing against South Park, in fact I love it!

Drop a like and a comment if you enjoyed :)

- Jess