Jack Barakat Imagines
Insecure
Your POV
“No I’m not, I’m fat and gross. I don’t know why you’re still here.” Jack huffed and slumped down on the couch we were on. Sometimes he got like this, he refused to believe anything good about himself.
Jack and I have been dating for a while, and sometimes Jack felt like he wasn’t good enough for me. Which is totally weird since I should be feeling that way. But I don’t. I feel like we complete each other.
He’s always a happy guy. Almost always. He makes jokes, he makes people laugh when they need it most, but sometimes he has trouble seeing his own self worth. And that’s where I come in. If he’s there for me when I’m sad, I have to be there for him.
“Love, you’re not fat or gross. You’re perfect. You’re perfect for me.” We were lying on Jack’s bed, and he was telling me what he was thinking while I laid in his arms and told him how much he meant to me.
Look, Y/N.” He grabbed his tummy fat and showed it to me. “Do you see what this is?”
“Uh, your skin?”
Jack smiled out of annoyance and gave me a look. We were sitting up now, leaning against his headboard. “No, it’s fat. It’s fat that I put on me and it’s fat that makes me gross.”
“We’ve been over this,” I sigh and pull up my shirt. I grab a handful of my skin and show it to him. “Everyone has extra stuff. Look, I can grab more than you. Do you think I’m fat?”
He looks at my face, but then looks away. “Well - no, not really.”
“Right. So if I have more fat than you, and you don’t think I’m fat, then how can you be fat?”
He sighed again and slouched down. “It’s just how I feel.”
“I know love,” I frowned and put my arm around him. “It’s going to be okay, okay? I’m here, and nothing you say is going to make me love you any less.”
“Except that you want someone who’s bigger than me.” Jack hid his head under the blanket as he was speaking so all I heard was “Except that you wanna have a honey bee” which didn’t make much sense.
I followed him under the blanket and hid there as well. Jack looked over at me and stuck his tongue at me playfully. Even if he wanted to get rid of me, he never showed it. Not even in his lowest of lows.
“What did you say?” I asked him.
“Nothing,” he mumbled, trying to hide from me under his arms.
“Lies, I know you said something.”
“Just drop it okay?”
“I’m not going to drop it, Jack. If I drop it, then I’ll never know what’s bothering you and I’ll never be able to reassure you how much I love you.”
Jack said nothing and continued to hide under his arms for a good while. I messed with my thumbs while I waited for him to tell me. I knew how hard it was to get things off his chest. Jack always internalizes things. He keeps them locked inside and pushes them away until he can’t anymore and they end up pouring out like a flood.
“Y/N,” he spoke up. I turned to face him, propping my head up with my hand.
“Yeah?”
“Do you think I’m small?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like too small to please you.”
“Ohhhh,” my mouth formed an o shape of recognition. That’s what he said. “Of course I don’t think you’re too small, what gave you that impression?”
“I just don’t think I’m enough to please you,” he sighed.
“Jack.” I put my arms around him and held him close. “You are enough to please me. Haven’t you heard of that saying? It’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it? That’s completely true. And even if it were about your size, if it helps, you’re the biggest I’ve had.”
“Really?” Jack looked at me, hopeful that he wasn’t terrible. It broke my heart to see him like this. He was so sad that he felt like he didn’t deserve to have anyone close to him. That’s the part that broke me. How could he not see how perfect he is? How can he not see what a beautiful person he is?
“Really.” I gave him my most supportive smile. He smiled back weakly. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his shirtless body. I didn’t ever want him to feel like he wasn’t good enough. He is. He doesn’t even need to try to be good enough. If two people love each other, that’s all they should really need. Who cares about status or whatever is keeping you from being together? All that matters is here and now and that’s all that should matter.
“Y/N?” Jack asks me, bringing us both out from under the blanket.
“Yeah?” I look up at him, trying to see if there was anything I could do about the sadness behind his chocolate eyes.
“Do you think my nose is too big?”
I was kind of taken aback by his question. Never have I ever thought anything on his face was out of place or just wrong in general, so this surprised me. “Not at all,” I said quietly. What can I do to help him? I just want to help him so bad.
“Someone told me that it looks like my nose doesn’t belong where it is.”
“What the fuck, did you punch them?”
“No, I just walked away.”
That made my blood boil. How the fuck did Jack not punch that asshole in the face. I was seriously going to get up in my nightware to find the son of a bitch. No one talks to my Jack that way. “Who was it?” I asked, my rage evident in my tone.
“I don’t know,” Jack whispered. “Are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you. Not at all. I’m mad at that asshole that did this to you. Now this is going to bother you for a long time.”
Jack nodded and snuggled down into the covers. I snuggled my head on his chest.
“I don’t know why people have to be such assholes all the time. Your nose is perfect where it is. It’s not too big, it’s not out of place. I love everything about you.” I sighed and started to play with his fingers while I listened to his breathing. “I love your hair, and how sometimes it falls over your eyes and the way you shake it out. I love your eyes, and the dark brown color to them and how they sparkle when you find something funny or beautiful. I love it when your eyes crinkle up at the corners when you laugh to show true happiness. I love your body and how it’s long and cuddly. I love your lips and how soft they are when I kiss them. I love it when your hands caress me. I love it when you tangle your legs in between mine when we cuddle or when we sleep together. And I love your penis. There’s nothing wrong with it. It works just fine and it feels even better. I love you, Jack. You. All of you.”
I took a breath after laying out what I was thinking. I looked up at his face when I realized he hadn’t said anything. His eyes were closed and his breathing slowed. Jack had fallen asleep in the middle of my speech. I smiled. He looked so cute while sleeping, I decided to leave him and fall asleep as well. So I did.
“No I’m not, I’m fat and gross. I don’t know why you’re still here.” Jack huffed and slumped down on the couch we were on. Sometimes he got like this, he refused to believe anything good about himself.
Jack and I have been dating for a while, and sometimes Jack felt like he wasn’t good enough for me. Which is totally weird since I should be feeling that way. But I don’t. I feel like we complete each other.
He’s always a happy guy. Almost always. He makes jokes, he makes people laugh when they need it most, but sometimes he has trouble seeing his own self worth. And that’s where I come in. If he’s there for me when I’m sad, I have to be there for him.
“Love, you’re not fat or gross. You’re perfect. You’re perfect for me.” We were lying on Jack’s bed, and he was telling me what he was thinking while I laid in his arms and told him how much he meant to me.
Look, Y/N.” He grabbed his tummy fat and showed it to me. “Do you see what this is?”
“Uh, your skin?”
Jack smiled out of annoyance and gave me a look. We were sitting up now, leaning against his headboard. “No, it’s fat. It’s fat that I put on me and it’s fat that makes me gross.”
“We’ve been over this,” I sigh and pull up my shirt. I grab a handful of my skin and show it to him. “Everyone has extra stuff. Look, I can grab more than you. Do you think I’m fat?”
He looks at my face, but then looks away. “Well - no, not really.”
“Right. So if I have more fat than you, and you don’t think I’m fat, then how can you be fat?”
He sighed again and slouched down. “It’s just how I feel.”
“I know love,” I frowned and put my arm around him. “It’s going to be okay, okay? I’m here, and nothing you say is going to make me love you any less.”
“Except that you want someone who’s bigger than me.” Jack hid his head under the blanket as he was speaking so all I heard was “Except that you wanna have a honey bee” which didn’t make much sense.
I followed him under the blanket and hid there as well. Jack looked over at me and stuck his tongue at me playfully. Even if he wanted to get rid of me, he never showed it. Not even in his lowest of lows.
“What did you say?” I asked him.
“Nothing,” he mumbled, trying to hide from me under his arms.
“Lies, I know you said something.”
“Just drop it okay?”
“I’m not going to drop it, Jack. If I drop it, then I’ll never know what’s bothering you and I’ll never be able to reassure you how much I love you.”
Jack said nothing and continued to hide under his arms for a good while. I messed with my thumbs while I waited for him to tell me. I knew how hard it was to get things off his chest. Jack always internalizes things. He keeps them locked inside and pushes them away until he can’t anymore and they end up pouring out like a flood.
“Y/N,” he spoke up. I turned to face him, propping my head up with my hand.
“Yeah?”
“Do you think I’m small?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like too small to please you.”
“Ohhhh,” my mouth formed an o shape of recognition. That’s what he said. “Of course I don’t think you’re too small, what gave you that impression?”
“I just don’t think I’m enough to please you,” he sighed.
“Jack.” I put my arms around him and held him close. “You are enough to please me. Haven’t you heard of that saying? It’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it? That’s completely true. And even if it were about your size, if it helps, you’re the biggest I’ve had.”
“Really?” Jack looked at me, hopeful that he wasn’t terrible. It broke my heart to see him like this. He was so sad that he felt like he didn’t deserve to have anyone close to him. That’s the part that broke me. How could he not see how perfect he is? How can he not see what a beautiful person he is?
“Really.” I gave him my most supportive smile. He smiled back weakly. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his shirtless body. I didn’t ever want him to feel like he wasn’t good enough. He is. He doesn’t even need to try to be good enough. If two people love each other, that’s all they should really need. Who cares about status or whatever is keeping you from being together? All that matters is here and now and that’s all that should matter.
“Y/N?” Jack asks me, bringing us both out from under the blanket.
“Yeah?” I look up at him, trying to see if there was anything I could do about the sadness behind his chocolate eyes.
“Do you think my nose is too big?”
I was kind of taken aback by his question. Never have I ever thought anything on his face was out of place or just wrong in general, so this surprised me. “Not at all,” I said quietly. What can I do to help him? I just want to help him so bad.
“Someone told me that it looks like my nose doesn’t belong where it is.”
“What the fuck, did you punch them?”
“No, I just walked away.”
That made my blood boil. How the fuck did Jack not punch that asshole in the face. I was seriously going to get up in my nightware to find the son of a bitch. No one talks to my Jack that way. “Who was it?” I asked, my rage evident in my tone.
“I don’t know,” Jack whispered. “Are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you. Not at all. I’m mad at that asshole that did this to you. Now this is going to bother you for a long time.”
Jack nodded and snuggled down into the covers. I snuggled my head on his chest.
“I don’t know why people have to be such assholes all the time. Your nose is perfect where it is. It’s not too big, it’s not out of place. I love everything about you.” I sighed and started to play with his fingers while I listened to his breathing. “I love your hair, and how sometimes it falls over your eyes and the way you shake it out. I love your eyes, and the dark brown color to them and how they sparkle when you find something funny or beautiful. I love it when your eyes crinkle up at the corners when you laugh to show true happiness. I love your body and how it’s long and cuddly. I love your lips and how soft they are when I kiss them. I love it when your hands caress me. I love it when you tangle your legs in between mine when we cuddle or when we sleep together. And I love your penis. There’s nothing wrong with it. It works just fine and it feels even better. I love you, Jack. You. All of you.”
I took a breath after laying out what I was thinking. I looked up at his face when I realized he hadn’t said anything. His eyes were closed and his breathing slowed. Jack had fallen asleep in the middle of my speech. I smiled. He looked so cute while sleeping, I decided to leave him and fall asleep as well. So I did.
@SecretsDontMakeFriends
RIGHT SOMEONE POINTED THAT OUT ON MY WATTPAD VERSION AND I WAS LIKE ???? how did i do that I'm magical
9/19/16