It fell apart right from the start.

It had been a few months, I don't quite remember exactly how long it had been. Josie was doing alright, well as alright as she could be. Marianna's funeral had been a little bit ago and since then I had a very limited sense of time. I missed her because she was the only thing I had ever needed, well aside from Josie who was the sole reminder of my wife. Going on tour had been really hard because I couldn't help but hate myself whenever I was going to leave. I could see the brokenness in Josie's eyes as I brought suitcases down because she knew she was going to grandma's when she wanted my there.

I was currently sitting in a resturant with Rian there, we were catching up after a little bit because I had locked myself away. I was messing with my drink that was in front of me as we waited for our food to come. I felt guilty for abandoning my friends recently but I felt like I needed to get my head right and be there for my daughter more. It was still hard to merely wake up because every day was another day without the only one I loved.

"So Jay, it's been a while. How's Josie," Rian asked.

"She's doing okay. Therapy's helped her a lot, I've been looking into it," I confessed.

"That may be for the better. How long has it been since the funeral?"

"Two months? I don't know, time had kind of faded together."

"Sorry to hear it. She really was something different."

"You don't even know the half of it."

It's kind of sad cause what we had.

We ate in silence once our food came. We had no idea what to talk about, everything was still a touchy subject to me. I had a right I feel, I lost the best thing that I had ever had and I never got to show her how much she meant to me like I had promised her way back then. That was something that was going to bother me forever and there was nothing I could even do about it.

"So what grade is Josie in," Rian asked.

"She's going into middle school next year which is gonna be really hard cause that's fucking hell. No one had a good time in middle school," I stated.

"Very true, she's tough so I think that she will be fine. She's tough , she's been through a lot."

"I know, I'm just nervous because she's tough as hell but so much has already happened right now. I'm just worried."

He didn't say anything else on the subject and let it drop. We continued to talk about everything and nothing at all. It was really nice to just talk to someone about everything. He talked about getting married to Cass and what my opinions were on that, me telling him to obviously go for it.

"Oh, we're going on another tour soon," Rian brought up.

"Yeah, Alex told me. Do you know what bands we would go with," I asked.

"One of them in the mix in Dead Ocean."

"Oh, well, can we not?"

Rian nodded sympathetically, all of this making perfect sense. He finished and paid for our meals, I was to buy the next one. I thanked him and went back to the house so I could be there when Josie's bus got back. I sat on the couch, watching the TV as I heard the door open. Josie ran up to me, tears in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around me and cried into my shirt. I ran my hand through her raven curls. I wanted my baby to stop hurting.

I couldn't even see the forest for the trees.

Notes

Sorry I took such a long break on this story, it's back and will be ending soon. My grandma had been diagnosed with cancer with chemo no longer working, making this really hard for me to write. This should be finished within ten chapters so there will be some time leaps.

Drop a rate and a comment if you enjoyed :)

Title and lyric credit: True Friends - Bring Me The Horizon