The Boy Next Door

"5 more minutes."

I check my paper one last time, to make sure everything's perfect. I can't help but look at Alex from time to time, making sure that he has no trouble answering the test. Because if he fails this test, I've failed to tutor him and I've also wasted my time for nothing.

When the bell rings, I wait for Alex to submit his paper first so I at least know that he's finished his test. I can finally let out a huge breath after Alex handed his paper.

"I have a pretty good feeling about this!!" Alex says as he sits on my table

"Mr. Gaskarth, off the table please!" Mrs. Lindsey shouts from across the room before I can answer him

He hops off the table, "Let's talk outside."

"So, I hope I hadn't wasted my time tutoring you for nothing." I say as we walk outside the class

Alex leans on the locker next to mine, "Well, I can assure you I'll at least pass the test this time."

"I hope so." I nod, taking the books I need for the next course. Alex is still leaning on the locker, I thought our conversation was done here

"Err.. So yeah I'm gonna go have lunch with the others. Don't you have somewhere to go too?" I say awkwardly to break the silence

He blinks, "Ah yeah sure. I better get going. See you around, I guess?"

"See ya, Alex." I start walking away

"Actually, I was thinking if you'd want to come over tonight? You know, with the boys, just a typical Friday night. We're gonna order pizza, drink some beer and y'know, have a nice chat about the week. I mean, if you don't have plans or anything." He asks out of a sudden. Well this is a surprise

I tilt my head, "What's gotten into you?"

"So now when I try to be friendly and stuff you get suspicious, but if I act like an asshole you'll also complain about it. Do you prefer me that way then?" Alex says

I hesitate for a second. Jack is going to be there and I don't know if it's a great idea to come..

"You know what? I'll think about it." I answer

"Think fast, Princess." He winks

And just like that he disappears into the crowd

---

Alright. Call me whatever you want but I know I'm probably the lamest kid in school for being in my pyjamas already by 7:30 on a Friday night. But I have 'Pretty in Pink' playing on my laptop and I'm comfortable in bed already after a long week.

"Gail? Can I come in?" My mom says after knocking

I nod, "Yeah, sure."

Mom sits on the edge of my bed. She's dressed in a black lacy dress and she has her make up done, which is quite unusual.

"Are you going out or something? You look gorgeous." I compliment her

"Actually.. This is why I came to your room. I've been meaning to tell you but well it's too late now. I.. Will be having someone over tonight. For a dinner date here, he's coming in 30 minutes." She explains, "He's a colleague of mine, his name is Robin Flynn."

My mom's seeing someone? And she's having him over tonight?

"Wow, Mom.. I mean I'm happy for you but are you serious? Like, tonight?" I start throwing questions

"Yes, Honey. I'm so sorry, I wish I'd had the guts to tell you earlier but it's now or never." She admits

"But Mom..." I sigh

"I know, Sweetheart. I'm sorry.. I thought you had plans for tonight like you usually do, so I figured I wouldn't have to sneak like this." She says

"You know what? I do actually have plans tonight." I get up from my bed and grab my jacket from the hanger

"Gail, I'm sorry. I know I should've told you right from the start." My mom apologizes again and again

"It's nothing, Mom. I'm just gonna go out and leave you and your date here so I don't bother you." I walk out of my room, go down the stairs and head out.

I know I shouldn't have done that but I am just... Disappointed? Yeah, that's the word. I wish she'd told me earlier about it. And she'd meant to keep it from me, assuming that I'd be out tonight.

This is the first time in more than 10 years that she's finally started seeing someone. Why can't she even tell me before hand?

As I step outside, I hesitate for a second to where I'm going. I can always go to Jas' house.. But her house is a 15 minute drive away, and I definitely can't ask my mom to drive me there. But I know for sure I need to be out of the house. At least until my mom finishes her date.

Alex's? He did invite me to come over, didn't he? If I had to choose between staying inside the house or having to face Alex and Jack, I'd rather be facing the guys for tonight.

I walk to his house and ring the bell. A surprised Alex comes greet me at the door.

"I thought you weren't gonna come!" Alex says

"It's not even 8 yet." I answer

"Yeah, but look who's already looking comfortable." He points at my pyjamas

"Are you gonna judge at my choice of fashion or are you gonna let me in?" I ask

"Someone's a little bit tempery tonight. Come on in." Alex opens the door wide for me

I see Rian, Zack and Jack lounging in the living room. Zack and Rian shoot me a quick hello and continue focusing on the movie. I sit in front of Jack, and he gives me a small smile.

"Rough week?" Alex asks as he takes a seat next to me

"Yeah, you can say that." I nod

"If I could be honest I seriously thought you weren't gonna come." He confesses

"I'm surprised myself... But since I'm here I might as well enjoy it then." I sigh. I wasn't lying when I said that, because actually the last time I hung out with the 4 of them it was actually not that bad. Alex is usually nicer when he has his friends around.

"So what do you wanna do then?" Alex asks

"Yeah, since you're watching a movie already we might as well finish it and decide later."

We all agree and continue watching the movie, me, just starting halfway through it. When the movie finally ends, I am 6 beers deep. I don't even realize, I'm not usually the kind to drink beer. I usually just go straight up hard liquor, or wine at least. I hate the taste of beer.

I excuse myself to go outside on the front porch for fresh air. I can see a sleek black Mercedes parked in front of our lawn. Robin's, I assume.

I stand out in the cold for a while to sober up because I'm definitely not thinking straight.
I am mad. I'm mad at my mom for not telling me in advance that she's been seeing someone. But deep down I know I'm actually mad at myself. Mad at myself for not accepting the fact that my mom, whom i've seen broken and hurt from love, finally falling into one. I just.. Don't want her to get hurt again.

I find myself walking back towards my house. I unlock the door and head straight to my room. I pass by Robin and Mom sitting in the living room, chatting and drinking wine.

"Gail? Where have you been? I was so worried!" I hear my mom calls out

I ignore her and go up the stairs. I lock my bedroom and crawl under the sheets. I cover my head under the blanket and curl my self up.

And then I cry.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid of love

Notes

Hey guys so a lot has happened these past few weeks. It's spring break here in Europe and I've been travelling a lot. I haven't slept on my own bed for 3 weeks and now I'm really sick, but hey, it's alright, as long as I'm travelling.

Maybe if you guys have known, I am half Belgian and half Indonesian who is now living in Belgium. My parents met when they were studying in the US and we've been moving around ever since. French is spoken as my first language at home along with Indonesian because I used to live there until I was 8 (which explains my shitty English). I now live in Brussels, Belgium with my family.

After 8 years of living in Belgium, my parents have decided to move back to Indonesia this June. How do I feel about that? I don't know.. Happy, sad and excited at the same time. We've all been very busy about the move and all so I guess now I have an excuse for the late updates ahaha?

Either way, I'll try to update as often as possible. Happy easter you all!