Long Live the Reckless and the Brave
Seven
The next morning, I didn't bother leaving my room. I locked the door and grabbed my guitar and lyrics journal. I needed to write to get out my anger. I didn't want to deal with my parents. I couldn't stand to see my pissed off father. I know I've disappionted him. Now he knows about my attraction to Jack. I'm grounded for the month and I can't practice with my friends. I so pissed off and I can't stand it.
I look to my nightstand and see a picture of me with my dad dressed in our matching Ravens jerseys when he took me, Tom, and Liam to a game. I grabbed it and chucked it at the opposite wall. The glass of the frame shattered and made a mess on my black carpet and the wood of the frame split apart. The picture flew out and joined the mess of wood and glass on the floor.
"Stella what was that," it was Dad.
"GO AWAY," I screamed at him. I hated him right now and I didn't want to talk to him.
"Stella Marie, open this door. Now," he ordered.
"No," I replied.
"I'm coming in there whether you like it or not," he yelled. I heard his angered footsteps go to where he stored the room keys for when things like this happen. I got up off my bed and sat down in a corner. I didn't want to be close to the door when he came in.
Once he opened my lock, he opened my door and he found me in the corner, fighting my tears. My guitar laid on my bed, my current journal open to the song I was writng to get our my anger. Then his eyes trailed to the broken picture frame. He went to the pile of fractured glass and split wood, digging out the still perfect picture of us. Back before I became a terror for them, before I started lashing out, before I went to that stupid party.
"Stella, I know you're mad at me," he started but I stopped him.
"Get out," I said sternly. I wanted to be alone.
"Stella," he tried again.
"I said get out of my room," I got louder.
"Stella," Mom came into the equation. I grabbed my jacket from my chair and my house keys before storming past both of them.
"Stella, where do you think you're going," Dad was getting pissed at me walking out of the house.
"I want to be alone. Now leave me alone," I yelled at both of my parents. Tom and Liam watched as I walked out. Noelle was in Tom's arms, trying to understand what was going on.
My eye sight got so clouded by my tears, I had no idea on where I was going. i just allowed my feet to carry me onward. I finally decided to stop at a park. Luckily it was one I was familiar with. It was huge and had a river running through it.
I walked out to one of the bridges that ran over the river. I sat down on the edge, my legs dangling over the edge, swinging. My body shook as I cried fully at last. I was such a fuck up. I was ruining everything for myself. I was being too reckless for my own good. My dad must be ashamed of what I'm doing with what's left of my childhood. Even Tom was disappointed, and I never disappoint him no matter hard I've tried before. I bet Jack will want nothing to do with me now.
"I'm not going to ever leave this damn town. I keep ruining my chances," I cried to myself.
When I thought my day couldn't get worse, it started to pour rain on me. At least now no one could tell I was crying now. I sat on the bridge as the rain fell down around me, soaking me to the bone.
"Stella," I heard someone call. I instantly sat up straight at the sound. I could tell who it was that was calling me.
"Stella," I heard it again from a higher pitched voice I stood up and started to walk away.
"Stella, wait," I heard the one voice I didn't think I'd hear again after what I did. I looked up and I saw a tall, lanky black haired kid walking up to me.
"I want to be alone," I tried to run past him, but he caught me.
"Stella, you shouldn't be alone. It won't do you any good. Come on, let me take you home Stell-Bell," Jack smiled at me. How can he be so kidn to me when I fucked up everything?
Jack and I finally end up back at my house, Liam and Noelle stood on either side of Tom as they watched us through the storm door. Jack held onto me as I cried heavier than I had when I threw the picture or while I sat alone at the park.
"Ssh, just breathe Stella. Everything will be fine. My parents are tell your parents that I got you back home," Jack cooed, trying to get me to stop crying.
"He hates me, Jacky. I ruined everything with my recklessness last night. I'm just a stupid kid trying to be a badass and failing at it," I sobbed.
"He doesn't hate you, Stella. You pushed the wrong buttons this time and threw him over the edge. Your dad is worried about you. You're his first born and his oldest daughter. He wants to protect you and help you achieve your dreams, but won't let you chase them down until you're ready. My dad is the same way with me and I respect that," he said calmingly.
"You don't know my dad like I do Jack. He's pissed off at me because I fucked up," I told him.
"Stella, shut up. Your dad can't hate you. He's not mad at you either. He loves you wants you to realize that you are not ready for whats out there. I had this pahse too. My mom and dad straightened me out real quick, Start listening to them, your parents have been in your place before. Your mom comes from a fucked up life. Stop fighting them and behave. The soon you regain their respect and trust, the sooner you can come on the tour in the summer. If you can't come, I'll be staying behind and stay at my grandmother's so I can be with you Stella," Jack explained.
Jack took me inside and sat with me with towels laid down on the couch so we wouldn't get it wet as we waited for my parents to come home. Once they walked in the door, my dad had a look of pure disappointment and my mom was angry. I was ashamed of myself and I couldn't do anything right. I got up and walked past both of them to my room. I changed out of my wet clothes into my pjs and put my picture of me and my dad on my nightstand, leaning it against my lamp. I laid down in my bed under my covers and cried myself to sleep.
I look to my nightstand and see a picture of me with my dad dressed in our matching Ravens jerseys when he took me, Tom, and Liam to a game. I grabbed it and chucked it at the opposite wall. The glass of the frame shattered and made a mess on my black carpet and the wood of the frame split apart. The picture flew out and joined the mess of wood and glass on the floor.
"Stella what was that," it was Dad.
"GO AWAY," I screamed at him. I hated him right now and I didn't want to talk to him.
"Stella Marie, open this door. Now," he ordered.
"No," I replied.
"I'm coming in there whether you like it or not," he yelled. I heard his angered footsteps go to where he stored the room keys for when things like this happen. I got up off my bed and sat down in a corner. I didn't want to be close to the door when he came in.
Once he opened my lock, he opened my door and he found me in the corner, fighting my tears. My guitar laid on my bed, my current journal open to the song I was writng to get our my anger. Then his eyes trailed to the broken picture frame. He went to the pile of fractured glass and split wood, digging out the still perfect picture of us. Back before I became a terror for them, before I started lashing out, before I went to that stupid party.
"Stella, I know you're mad at me," he started but I stopped him.
"Get out," I said sternly. I wanted to be alone.
"Stella," he tried again.
"I said get out of my room," I got louder.
"Stella," Mom came into the equation. I grabbed my jacket from my chair and my house keys before storming past both of them.
"Stella, where do you think you're going," Dad was getting pissed at me walking out of the house.
"I want to be alone. Now leave me alone," I yelled at both of my parents. Tom and Liam watched as I walked out. Noelle was in Tom's arms, trying to understand what was going on.
My eye sight got so clouded by my tears, I had no idea on where I was going. i just allowed my feet to carry me onward. I finally decided to stop at a park. Luckily it was one I was familiar with. It was huge and had a river running through it.
I walked out to one of the bridges that ran over the river. I sat down on the edge, my legs dangling over the edge, swinging. My body shook as I cried fully at last. I was such a fuck up. I was ruining everything for myself. I was being too reckless for my own good. My dad must be ashamed of what I'm doing with what's left of my childhood. Even Tom was disappointed, and I never disappoint him no matter hard I've tried before. I bet Jack will want nothing to do with me now.
"I'm not going to ever leave this damn town. I keep ruining my chances," I cried to myself.
When I thought my day couldn't get worse, it started to pour rain on me. At least now no one could tell I was crying now. I sat on the bridge as the rain fell down around me, soaking me to the bone.
"Stella," I heard someone call. I instantly sat up straight at the sound. I could tell who it was that was calling me.
"Stella," I heard it again from a higher pitched voice I stood up and started to walk away.
"Stella, wait," I heard the one voice I didn't think I'd hear again after what I did. I looked up and I saw a tall, lanky black haired kid walking up to me.
"I want to be alone," I tried to run past him, but he caught me.
"Stella, you shouldn't be alone. It won't do you any good. Come on, let me take you home Stell-Bell," Jack smiled at me. How can he be so kidn to me when I fucked up everything?
Jack and I finally end up back at my house, Liam and Noelle stood on either side of Tom as they watched us through the storm door. Jack held onto me as I cried heavier than I had when I threw the picture or while I sat alone at the park.
"Ssh, just breathe Stella. Everything will be fine. My parents are tell your parents that I got you back home," Jack cooed, trying to get me to stop crying.
"He hates me, Jacky. I ruined everything with my recklessness last night. I'm just a stupid kid trying to be a badass and failing at it," I sobbed.
"He doesn't hate you, Stella. You pushed the wrong buttons this time and threw him over the edge. Your dad is worried about you. You're his first born and his oldest daughter. He wants to protect you and help you achieve your dreams, but won't let you chase them down until you're ready. My dad is the same way with me and I respect that," he said calmingly.
"You don't know my dad like I do Jack. He's pissed off at me because I fucked up," I told him.
"Stella, shut up. Your dad can't hate you. He's not mad at you either. He loves you wants you to realize that you are not ready for whats out there. I had this pahse too. My mom and dad straightened me out real quick, Start listening to them, your parents have been in your place before. Your mom comes from a fucked up life. Stop fighting them and behave. The soon you regain their respect and trust, the sooner you can come on the tour in the summer. If you can't come, I'll be staying behind and stay at my grandmother's so I can be with you Stella," Jack explained.
Jack took me inside and sat with me with towels laid down on the couch so we wouldn't get it wet as we waited for my parents to come home. Once they walked in the door, my dad had a look of pure disappointment and my mom was angry. I was ashamed of myself and I couldn't do anything right. I got up and walked past both of them to my room. I changed out of my wet clothes into my pjs and put my picture of me and my dad on my nightstand, leaning it against my lamp. I laid down in my bed under my covers and cried myself to sleep.
Aww! :) I would hugg you too! And you're welcome, silent readers suck...
6/14/13