I'll Survive You
Big Boys Don't Cry
Zack sat silently in an uncomfortable maroon colored worn in chair where he watched disheveled nurses and seemingly level headed doctors rush in and out of doors, up and down the hallway. He watched on as Kennadee sought comfort in Rian unconfidently reassuring her that Alex was okay. He watched Jack nervously holding his head in his hands as he muttered to himself about not being there for his best friend. Zack felt worried, he really did, but he also felt angry. Angry that Alex had let himself get so consumed in his own selfishness. He was angry that for three hours they had been sitting in a too sterile waiting area getting remorseful glances from heavy set nurses all because Alex hadn’t moved on from a girl that he claimed he hadn’t even loved. Most of all, he was angry at himself for being angry with Alex at all and with that thought he pushed himself out of his barely cushioned chair.
“I’m going to get coffee” he announced loudly enough for Kennadee, Rian and Jack to hear. The three looked up at the muscular boy and nodded silently and Zack shifted his weight onto his right left, his arms remaining crossed.
“Does anyone else want anything?” He finally asked. Rian shifted a cautious glance to Kennadee, silently asking if she would be okay with him leaving. She unwound her arms from his waist, letting them fall limply by her sides as Rian stood up to join Zack. Rian hated to leave her like that but he could hardly contain his eagerness to get out of the hospital for even a few minutes.
“Please tell me we’re going to the Starbucks down the street?” I practically begged to Zack as they walked down the hallway towards the elevator, the doors conveniently opening as soon as they had gotten to it. They waited a brief moment for three nurses to exit the elevator before they stepped in; Zack pressed the ground level button as the doors closed.
Zack nodded his head in affirmation “yeah…” he sighed “I just can’t sit in there anymore, it’s just too…” he trailed off not knowing exactly what adjective he was looking for to describe what he had been feeling. Rian nodded his head in understanding for he wasn’t exactly sure of his feelings; worried, angry, sick, sad and remorseful. He had felt like a tsunami of emotions had been released in his body without an escape and sitting in that room with Kennadee and Jack, soaking in their grief, it was exhausting for him.
They rode the elevator down in a definite silence though both men stood with their heads filled with screaming thoughts but neither one wanting to be the first to divulge their doubts about their bandmates health. They stepped out of the elevator and walked to the hospital exit doors, exposing themselves to the cool night breeze and the distant city lights. The familiar green Starbucks sign guided them down the block and across the street, the fragrant coffee beans wafting them in their faces as they stepped into the small coffee shop. They each ordered their coffee’s with an extra shot of espresso and paid respectively before finding themselves at a small round table accompanied by two chairs. Zack took a large sip of his hot coffee before setting the disposable cup down and clearing his throat, catching Rian’s attention and breaking the silence that had set in in the elevator.
“D-do ya…he’s going to be okay, right?” Zack finally asked.
Rian bit his lip anxiously he wanted to be the strong and confident one that told everyone that everything would be A-Okay, but he couldn’t find the fight within himself to lie to Zack.
“I don’t know…” He whispered, his eyes closed tight “I don’t know, Zack…” he repeated, his words wavered with a quiver of his lip and from beneath his closed eyelids his tears began to fall for the first time since they found out about Alex. Zack felt his own lips begin to quiver and it was there in the back corner of an overpriced coffee shop that his strong armor fell to the ground. It was in that moment that Zack finally let his inner turmoil of anger become replaced with worry as the gravity of the situation hit him and he realized that this was all so much bigger than he was. The sound of metal scratching tile resounded through the chatter filled room as Rian scooted his chair across the floor and knelt down in front of Zack, engulfing the boy in a tight embrace. Zack gripped onto Rian like his life depended on it and cried until he had nothing left to give, he let out a shaky breath and released his hold on the older boy. Rian pulled back and patted Zack’s knee in a sense of reassurance even though he had none to give.
“We should get back, yeah?” Zack proposed, wiping the remnants of tears from his flushed face. They each grabbed their lukewarm coffee’s and found themselves walking back to the hospital in the ever so familiar silence that they had left the hospital with. They sipped on their coffee’s and rode the elevator back up to floor nine of the hospital, the silence still settled in between the two men until they reached the exact waiting area they had come from an hour prior except when they returned only Jack was to be found.
“Where’s Kennadee?” Rian rushed over to Jack’s side, his heart racing at the thought that Kennadee had left and done something dumb to herself. Jack looked up at his two best friends, a new set of tears shining in his eyes. His bottom lip quivered and a lump formed in his tightening throat, worrying his bandmates even more so.
Finally, he cleared his throat to speak “The doctor came out and we…we just said she was his fiancée. They…they wouldn’t tell me anything ‘cause I’m not family, so we had to. We had to tell them that so they would tell us what’s up, and then Kennadee was allowed to see him but she hasn’t come back yet and I don’t know if he’s okay” Jack babbled, his eyebrows furrowed and his hands waving in the air to make a point.
Zack knelt down next to him and grabbed Jack’s hands “Jack, what did they say? The doctors what did they say?” He enquired.
Jack’s eyes fell to the floor and he breathed out a heavy sigh “H-he’s in a medically induced coma,” he established.
“He’s alive, yeah?” Rian questioned, only needing to know that there would be hope for everything to be alright.
Jack looked up to his friends, the tears that had built began to fall at a steady pace “They don’t know if he’s going to make it. Th-they said he’s experienced near-drowning a-and that h-he could have severe brain damage or lung damage if he wakes up.” Jack elaborated on the situation of their best friend and bandmate; his fingers weaved into his unkept hair for the thousandth time in the last few hours.
Just as before the three boys sat in the uncomfortable maroon colored chairs and anxiously awaited more news on their friend or at least for Kennadee to come back and tell them that he looked okay, that he would be good as new with no worries.
Meanwhile, Kennadee stood outside of the door with her hands wrung tightly in her American flag patterned scarf willing herself to just open the door and bite the bullet. Though, her courage was soon forced upon her when a plump nurse opened the door from the inside, clipboard in hand and ready to check to next ER patient until she ran straight into Kennadee.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Kennadee profusely apologized but the nurse pushed her apologies aside and smiled warmly up to Kennadee.
“Oh, dear, you just go on in there. He’s a fighter that one, he just needs something to fight for.” The nurse consoled and patted Kennadee’s shoulder before detouring around her frame.
Kennadee stood still for a minute before she pushed to the door open and walked into the sterile room, the sound of beeping machines filled the quiet space. She forced herself to look up from the floor and her eyes settled upon Alex’s pale, vulnerable body. She slowly walked toward the boy and gingerly sat on the side of the bed, cautious of the various tubes that emitted from his arms and chest. Her hands shook as she reached out towards his face, one hand cradled his cheek while the other smoothed through his matted hair. With a lingering touch, Kennadee pulled away completely and pulled the spare chair bedside before sitting as close to the boy as she could.
“Oh, ‘Lex, what have you done?” She whispered, both hands clasped onto his cold right hand and she was answered with the still steady beeping of the heart monitor. She brought his hand to her lips and delicately kissed his palm, her tears fell onto his fingertips. Kennadee sat in silence just holding his hand in hers and willed him to wake up but after ten minutes she realized it was a useless effort.
“This is probably dumb” she said humorlessly “but if this were a movie it would work, so I’m going to tell you a story ‘Lex…and when you wake up we’re going to create an alternate ending, okay?” Kennadee prompted to the comatose boy, only to be met with a quick beat skip registered on the heart monitor.
Kennadee leaned forward and kissed Alex’s forehead comfortingly and quoted the beginning of every fairytale story that had a happy ending “Once upon a time…”
She hesitantly paused to reassure herself that what she was doing wasn’t completely insane “Once upon a time…” she confidently continued “there was a boy named Alex, and a girl called Kennadee fell in love with him, and this is their story.”
“I’m going to get coffee” he announced loudly enough for Kennadee, Rian and Jack to hear. The three looked up at the muscular boy and nodded silently and Zack shifted his weight onto his right left, his arms remaining crossed.
“Does anyone else want anything?” He finally asked. Rian shifted a cautious glance to Kennadee, silently asking if she would be okay with him leaving. She unwound her arms from his waist, letting them fall limply by her sides as Rian stood up to join Zack. Rian hated to leave her like that but he could hardly contain his eagerness to get out of the hospital for even a few minutes.
“Please tell me we’re going to the Starbucks down the street?” I practically begged to Zack as they walked down the hallway towards the elevator, the doors conveniently opening as soon as they had gotten to it. They waited a brief moment for three nurses to exit the elevator before they stepped in; Zack pressed the ground level button as the doors closed.
Zack nodded his head in affirmation “yeah…” he sighed “I just can’t sit in there anymore, it’s just too…” he trailed off not knowing exactly what adjective he was looking for to describe what he had been feeling. Rian nodded his head in understanding for he wasn’t exactly sure of his feelings; worried, angry, sick, sad and remorseful. He had felt like a tsunami of emotions had been released in his body without an escape and sitting in that room with Kennadee and Jack, soaking in their grief, it was exhausting for him.
They rode the elevator down in a definite silence though both men stood with their heads filled with screaming thoughts but neither one wanting to be the first to divulge their doubts about their bandmates health. They stepped out of the elevator and walked to the hospital exit doors, exposing themselves to the cool night breeze and the distant city lights. The familiar green Starbucks sign guided them down the block and across the street, the fragrant coffee beans wafting them in their faces as they stepped into the small coffee shop. They each ordered their coffee’s with an extra shot of espresso and paid respectively before finding themselves at a small round table accompanied by two chairs. Zack took a large sip of his hot coffee before setting the disposable cup down and clearing his throat, catching Rian’s attention and breaking the silence that had set in in the elevator.
“D-do ya…he’s going to be okay, right?” Zack finally asked.
Rian bit his lip anxiously he wanted to be the strong and confident one that told everyone that everything would be A-Okay, but he couldn’t find the fight within himself to lie to Zack.
“I don’t know…” He whispered, his eyes closed tight “I don’t know, Zack…” he repeated, his words wavered with a quiver of his lip and from beneath his closed eyelids his tears began to fall for the first time since they found out about Alex. Zack felt his own lips begin to quiver and it was there in the back corner of an overpriced coffee shop that his strong armor fell to the ground. It was in that moment that Zack finally let his inner turmoil of anger become replaced with worry as the gravity of the situation hit him and he realized that this was all so much bigger than he was. The sound of metal scratching tile resounded through the chatter filled room as Rian scooted his chair across the floor and knelt down in front of Zack, engulfing the boy in a tight embrace. Zack gripped onto Rian like his life depended on it and cried until he had nothing left to give, he let out a shaky breath and released his hold on the older boy. Rian pulled back and patted Zack’s knee in a sense of reassurance even though he had none to give.
“We should get back, yeah?” Zack proposed, wiping the remnants of tears from his flushed face. They each grabbed their lukewarm coffee’s and found themselves walking back to the hospital in the ever so familiar silence that they had left the hospital with. They sipped on their coffee’s and rode the elevator back up to floor nine of the hospital, the silence still settled in between the two men until they reached the exact waiting area they had come from an hour prior except when they returned only Jack was to be found.
“Where’s Kennadee?” Rian rushed over to Jack’s side, his heart racing at the thought that Kennadee had left and done something dumb to herself. Jack looked up at his two best friends, a new set of tears shining in his eyes. His bottom lip quivered and a lump formed in his tightening throat, worrying his bandmates even more so.
Finally, he cleared his throat to speak “The doctor came out and we…we just said she was his fiancée. They…they wouldn’t tell me anything ‘cause I’m not family, so we had to. We had to tell them that so they would tell us what’s up, and then Kennadee was allowed to see him but she hasn’t come back yet and I don’t know if he’s okay” Jack babbled, his eyebrows furrowed and his hands waving in the air to make a point.
Zack knelt down next to him and grabbed Jack’s hands “Jack, what did they say? The doctors what did they say?” He enquired.
Jack’s eyes fell to the floor and he breathed out a heavy sigh “H-he’s in a medically induced coma,” he established.
“He’s alive, yeah?” Rian questioned, only needing to know that there would be hope for everything to be alright.
Jack looked up to his friends, the tears that had built began to fall at a steady pace “They don’t know if he’s going to make it. Th-they said he’s experienced near-drowning a-and that h-he could have severe brain damage or lung damage if he wakes up.” Jack elaborated on the situation of their best friend and bandmate; his fingers weaved into his unkept hair for the thousandth time in the last few hours.
Just as before the three boys sat in the uncomfortable maroon colored chairs and anxiously awaited more news on their friend or at least for Kennadee to come back and tell them that he looked okay, that he would be good as new with no worries.
Meanwhile, Kennadee stood outside of the door with her hands wrung tightly in her American flag patterned scarf willing herself to just open the door and bite the bullet. Though, her courage was soon forced upon her when a plump nurse opened the door from the inside, clipboard in hand and ready to check to next ER patient until she ran straight into Kennadee.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Kennadee profusely apologized but the nurse pushed her apologies aside and smiled warmly up to Kennadee.
“Oh, dear, you just go on in there. He’s a fighter that one, he just needs something to fight for.” The nurse consoled and patted Kennadee’s shoulder before detouring around her frame.
Kennadee stood still for a minute before she pushed to the door open and walked into the sterile room, the sound of beeping machines filled the quiet space. She forced herself to look up from the floor and her eyes settled upon Alex’s pale, vulnerable body. She slowly walked toward the boy and gingerly sat on the side of the bed, cautious of the various tubes that emitted from his arms and chest. Her hands shook as she reached out towards his face, one hand cradled his cheek while the other smoothed through his matted hair. With a lingering touch, Kennadee pulled away completely and pulled the spare chair bedside before sitting as close to the boy as she could.
“Oh, ‘Lex, what have you done?” She whispered, both hands clasped onto his cold right hand and she was answered with the still steady beeping of the heart monitor. She brought his hand to her lips and delicately kissed his palm, her tears fell onto his fingertips. Kennadee sat in silence just holding his hand in hers and willed him to wake up but after ten minutes she realized it was a useless effort.
“This is probably dumb” she said humorlessly “but if this were a movie it would work, so I’m going to tell you a story ‘Lex…and when you wake up we’re going to create an alternate ending, okay?” Kennadee prompted to the comatose boy, only to be met with a quick beat skip registered on the heart monitor.
Kennadee leaned forward and kissed Alex’s forehead comfortingly and quoted the beginning of every fairytale story that had a happy ending “Once upon a time…”
She hesitantly paused to reassure herself that what she was doing wasn’t completely insane “Once upon a time…” she confidently continued “there was a boy named Alex, and a girl called Kennadee fell in love with him, and this is their story.”
Notes
What?! An update that didn't take another 5 months!? Crazy!Anyways, I wanted to give some insight on how Rian and Zack feel and I even have half of the next update written which should be posted sometime next week! Just a hint, the next update will begin to take us on the journey of Kennadee and Alex's relationship.
Love you all
<3 K
Yay!
12/5/13