The following minutes were a whirlwind of shouting, rushing bodies and flashing lights before jack found himself being pulled back to the ER waiting room by a nurse. He couldn't even recall when the ambulance had arrived at the hospital. All he could remember was clutching onto Alex's hand like his own life had depended on it while the EMT's quickly administered various medical procedures to his best friend.

He vaguely remembered the rushed CPR and the moment that Alex's heartbeat registered a faint pattern on the monitor. Then all he could remember was being taken away from his best friend and being forced to wait in a crowded room with other hollow and worried individuals, but his advantage was that he knew his friend was alive, if only faintly.

Meanwhile, the rest of his band members were being whisked into the busy city street while kennadee hailed down a cab for herself and the two boys, her own band mate opting to treck back to their hotel.

"Kennadee, what's going on?" Rian questioned as they got into the cab.

"I don't know, Ri. W-we have to get to the hospital, something's happened to alex...I think. Jack didn't really say." Kennadee spoke quickly, the nerves rushing through her body and making her hands shake. It didn't matter how mad she was with Alex, he was still an important part of her life. It was only six months ago that she thought Alex was the one she would marry, her soul mate.

"God dammit..." Zack muttered underneath is breath both in frustration and worry. They had all known that Alex was reaching his breaking point but he hadn't expected it to put his friend and band mate in the hospital. He instantly felt guilty for the harsh words he had spieled hours earlier about Alex.

"He's gonna be fine." Rian reassured his two friends even though he was unsure about what he was trying to convince them. Before long their cab pulled into the hospital parking lot, barely coming to a stop before kennadee was pushing her door open and running into the hospital to find jack, her phone already pressed to her ear waiting for the Lebanese boy to answer.

"Jack! What floor?!" She instantly asked as soon as he answered his phone, not even giving him the opportunity to say hello.

"Umm...the ER floor...like, floor nine I think. I-it's really bad dee..." Jack relayed the information, his voice croaky from crying.

"Okay" kennadee hung up the phone shakily and took off towards the elevator, impatiently waiting for rian and zack to catch up to her. The elevator doors opened as soon as they got to her, she pulled them into the elevator and pressed the level nine button. The elevator slowly began rising before stopping on the appropriate floor and the three of them were once again rushing off.

"Jack!" Kennadee called out as soon as she spotted the skunked hair boy. Jack stood from his seat and met the three halfway, his eyes puffy and red rimmed from harsh tears told them that this was serious, that Alex was far from okay. "

T-they w-won't tell m-me anything!" Jack stuttered out emotionally, collapsing into zack's broad body for support. Zack's arms instantly wrapped around his friends shaking frame and held tight, his own eyes brimming with unshed tears. They stood there silently holding onto one another for a few minutes before Jack remembered the crumpled hotel note that he stowed away in his pocket when the EMT's had arrived at the hotel to transport Alex. He shakily removed his limbs from around Zack's frame and reached into his jeans pocket and retrieved the note and handing it to kennadee, whom he assumed the note was intended for to begin with.

"W-what is this?" Kennadee asked but was only met with jack shaking his head, begging her not to ask him that.

"He....oh god, he was so cold and h-he drowned himself. I-I...I knew something was wrong! I could fe-feel it! I...I should have been there!" Jack cried incoherently and suddenly kennadee knew exactly what that note was. Deep in her gut she knew that whatever turmoil Alex had felt in that moment was because of her, because of her last words to him. I hate you. Her hands shook as she unfolded the note, the recognizable hotel emblem watermarked on the top followed by Alex's unmistakeable handwriting.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I was, the things I did to you. I'm sorry for the things I said to you. I was so very wrong. I can't live without you...because a life without you isn't worth living-AWG"

Kennadee fell to her knees, tears cascading down her cheeks. She wondered to herself why someone was crying so loudly, screaming even, before she realized it was her that was screaming. Rian kneeled down, pulling her body into his and soothingly shushing her until she was down to quiet, broken whimpers.

Notes

I'm sorry I suck so much guys. I honestly lost all inspiration for this story and I didn't think anyone was reading this anyway. But, 5 months later and here's a crappy update. I haven't edited it and it was written on my phone so sorry for any mistaka, I'll fix them as soon as I'm home but I wanted to get something posted since it was requested.

<3 Katy