Alex pushed the door into the hotel open to find his band mates standing in the hotel lobby looking less than pleased.

“Where the hell have you been?!” Zack sneered, his muscled arms crossed angrily across his chest.

“I—“

“Serioulsy, dude….this shit has got to stop” Rian cut him off, shaking his head disapprovingly

“I saw—“

“Alex, dude, we all love you but our band is suffering and if you keep this up then I’m—“

“I saw her! Okay, I fucking saw her!” Alex yelled, interrupting Jack and gaining the attention of several other hotel guests.

Jack, Rian, and Zack stared silently at their friend. They knew she was in the same town, her band having their own show a day after theirs. They had planned on meeting them for lunch before Alex went missing. Of course, they never planned on taking Alex with them and they never thought Alex would run into Kennedee.

“She hates me” Alex finally said, his voice completely broken down with defeat.

“What exactly were you expecting, Alex? A fucking hug and kiss?” Zack snidely remarked

“Where are you guys going?” Alex asked for the first time, realizing that they weren’t exactly waiting in the hotel lobby for him, even if he had been missing.

“Lunch…” Jack said warily, casting glances to Rian and Zack.

“Oh, I can just grab my coat really quick, looks like it’s going to rain” Alex said, inviting himself along with them.

Jack bit his lip and shook his head, refusing to keep eye contact with Alex “you’re not invited, ‘Lex.”
Jack felt his chest tighten when he finally looked up to see his best friend with a deep frown set into his face and unshed tears in his eyes. He regrettably watched Alex nod his head and shuffle awkwardly to put his weight on his right leg. His arms were wrapped around his body tightly, as if he were afraid that letting go would make him fall into pieces.

“O-okay” Alex’s voice cracked even under his determination to play it off coolly.

“Have fun, y-yeah?” He quietly choked out, throwing a quick wave to his band mates while he all but ran to the staircase, too upset and in need of privacy to wait for the elevator. He felt the air in his lungs become thick as he ran up the six flights of stairs to his floor. He shoved his hand into his pocket, fumbling for the key card to get into his room. His breathing quickly losing its simple pattern of “in-and out” as he pushed the door open, he began gasping for air feeling like he just couldn’t take enough in fast enough.

He stumbled into the room, the door slammed behind him and he fell to the floor. His hands began to shake and he closed his eyes, willing himself to just calm down. This was just all too much for him to handle. First he ran into the girl that he was hopelessly in love with and rejected completely, though that should have been expected but then his own band…his own friends rejected him.

“Everyone hates me” he whispered to the empty room. His hands tangled into his messy hair and he let out a choked sob.

“Everyone hates me!” he repeated to himself, this time hugging his arms to himself. He let out a shaky breath and pulled himself to his feet. He walked into the bathroom, his hand searching the wall for the light switch. The small room filled with fluorescent light and Alex stared at his reflection, frowning at what he saw. His eyes flickered down to the hotel pad and pen lying idly on the counter and he scribbled down the first thing that came to his mind. He tossed the pen aside and placed the pad neatly on the counter. His feet carried him to the obnoxiously large bathtub; his tattooed hand turned the knobs allowing the water to freely run into the tub.

He stepped into the tub, the hot water almost burning his skin as he sunk down until his head was level with the edge. Without a final thought he pulled himself completely underwater, counting the seconds until he began gasping for air. The room was filled with the sound of thrashing limbs and splashing water as he fought against himself. The water filled his lungs and the seconds become a blur as his body finally gave against its internal will and his vision faded to black. The room became almost silent, only the sound of the overflowing water filling the air. The only thing left completely undistrubed was the little pad of paper, the hotel emblem watermarked across the top and the messy scrawl that read: “Because a life without you isn’t a life worth living”

---

---

Jack stood in between Rian and Zack, though his focus was mainly on the staircase Alex had just disappeared in. Through the past six months he had witnessed Alex have far too many breakdowns and Jack knew that Alex was to blame for his own misery but he was also terrified that one of his breakdowns was going to lead to something horrible.

He knew deep inside that Alex was an unstable time bomb and was without a doubt slowly ticking into a disastrous explosion. Jack knew that. Everyone knew that.
But still, he allowed Rian and Zack to pull him along giving him no option to run up those very stairs to check on his best friend. He pulled his arms free of their grasp and walked behind them, not even bothering to listen to their pointless chatter.

He just had this really bad feeling in his gut that something was terribly wrong, an unexplainable sense that something bad was happening as he walked away from the hotel. He quickly pulled his iphone from his jacket pocket and swiped it open, his finger hovering above Alex’s name. He clicked onto the name and brought his phone to his ear, it went straight to voicemail. Jack knew that meant Alex was having a huge meltdown; he always turned his phone off when that happened and Jack always got mad at him for doing it.

“what if something happens, ‘Lex? Huh, what if someone needs you and your damn phone is off” Jack would say to him every single time, but then he would also be hugging his best friend to his body and running a hand down his back soothingly and his words would be lost.

“…..You’ve reached Alex, leave me a message and I might get back to you” his voice trailed off and the phone beeped.

“Hey ‘Lex, ummm I just wanted to check on you but obviously you’re not okay. Ummm, I’ll pick up some lunch for you and we can hang when I get back, yeah? Okay…I love you man, don’t do anything stupid” Jack left a hesitant voice mail and shoved his phone back into his pocket bringing his attention back to the two boys infront of him, though he still couldn't shake the lingering feeling that something horrible was going to happen.

“Kennedee just sent me a text, we’re going to meet them at Elijah’s on front street” Rian read off the text message and Jack was reminded why he had to reject Alex in the first place.

Notes

So...I don't know where this came from and it was unexpected even for me but...I know where I am going with this so hang tight! Also, I know it's pretty short but the next update will be longer and will start to reveal more things and if at any point you get confused when I start unraveling the story feel free to ask me to clarify.

-Katy <3