Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous

I took a deep breath. You can do this, Alex.

My hand hesitated on the door knob. I didn't want to deal with the consequences of my actions.

I couldn't lose my new friends.

I couldn't lose him.

I shook my head and pushed into the house. What are you saying? It'll be fine...hopefully.

When I entered the kitchen, Jack had eaten just under a third of hid plate and was starring off into the distance, his food long forgotten. That can't be good. I rubbed a hand down my face. No, shut up, it's fine.

Jack looked up when I sat next to him. He gave a small smile. “Hey.”

I returned it. “Hey.”

The silence was heavy.

I nodded at his plate. “You wanna finish that?”

He shrugged. “Not hungry.”

I nodded.

Jack's fork scraped against the plate as his untouched food danced in circles.

I scratched the back of my neck.

He sighed. “We need to talk.”

I nodded.

Neither of us moved.

I watched him. I hoped he would say something first, or maybe get up so we could go upstairs, or maybe just clear his throat. I just wanted him to do something first.

He watched me the same way.

Silence.

My eyes, heavy with the expectation of tears, dropped to my lap.

Jack sighed. “I hate this.”

I nodded.

Silence.

“Lex?”

I looked up, the edges of my vision blurry, my heart thudding in my ears. Oh god, he looks sad. Please don't look sad. Sad means goodbye. I don't want a goodbye. I won't take it. I refuse to accept that. I swallowed hard.

Jack's hand came up to cup my cheek. “Please don't be upset with me. I'm sorry.” No, no, no. “I-” he swallowed. “I don't know, Alex.”

I chuckled, but it came out sad and choked. “You know we've gotten ourselves into shit when you call me Alex.”

He laughed. “Yeah I guess so.” He shook his head. “I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have done what I did. I probably fucked everything up. It's so stupid and I fucking hate it and I just-” His hand left my face to slide through his hair as he steadied himself. “I just really wish I hadn't fucking kissed you, it was the dumbest mistake I've ever made. If I could take it all back I would.”

Christ, did that cut deep. I looked at my lap as I felt the tears I'd been keeping in finally break free. If he was trying to push me away, he was off to a damn good start.

Jack ad stood and begun pacing the room as he continued talking, but I wasn't listening. I couldn't. I tried desperately to regain my composure. I took slow breaths and willed my eyes to stop it with the water works.

“It was the dumbest mistake I've ever made.”

My breath caught for a moment. I tried my hardest to clear my head as I returned to deep, slow breaths.

“I wish I hadn't fucking kissed you.”

I bit the inside of my cheek.

“If I could take it all back I would.”

A choked sob ripped from my chest before I could contain it. You fucked up everything. It's all your fault. Why would you even think this could work out? You don't deserve him. He doesn't need you. He doesn't even want you.

Jack:
I stopped dead. My head whipped to look at Alex.

His head was hung low, but I could see his shoulders hiccuping as he held in silent sobs.

I dropped to my knees in front of him. “Hey, hey, look at me.” He shook his head. “Alex, please don't cry. What did I do?”

I tried my hardest to figure out what I'd said to hurt him. I was so confused. I'd just spent five minutes telling him that I figured he only kissed me out of pity and that it was ok. I just wanted to go back to being friends, I didn't want him to feel any obligation to return feelings he didn't have.

He took a shaky breath. “Y-You don't have to explain yourself. If you want to l-leave you can.”

“Leave? Why would I want to leave? Did you hear a word of what I said?”

“T-That kissing me was the worst mistake you ever m-made? Yeah, heard you l-loud and clear,” he grumbled.

It took me a moment to grasp what he said, and when I did, I couldn't help but laugh. “Jesus Lex, really? That's what you got out of all that?”

He looked up at me, confused. “What's y-your problem, asshole?” he sniffled.

I held his face in both hands. “You're fucking stupid,” I laughed.

“You're fucking stupid,” he shot back, clearly irritated and utterly confused.

I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. I chuckled when he squeaked in surprise. When I pulled back he just stared at me with wide eyes. I laughed. “I should have known that if I stand here and tell you I'm sorry for fucking up our friendship by falling for you, you'd figure out a way to take it wrong.”

He blinked. “Y-You,” he swallowed, “you're serious?”

I grinned. “Of course I'm serious, you moron. I just said a monologue to tell you I like you. I'm not going anywhere.”

Alex searched my face for a moment. “You're damn right your not,” he mumbled before pulling me, by my shirt, into a hard kiss.

I linked one hand with his.

I definitely wasn't going anywhere.

Notes

Have that. There you go. Enjoy! - Anna