Good as Gone.

I returned from the hospital with Neil helping me up the stairs, Adam was on the couch waiting when we returned to my apartment. I had ended up getting fourteen stitches in the bottom of my foot, I left with a limp and a sock to hold the bandages and gauze on. "How you holding up?" Adam asked as he jumped up from the couch.

"I'm okay I think," I said shaking. I'll admit I was still quite shook over the night's incidents but beating the piss out of the guy that broke into my apartment seemed to calm my nerves a bit. I sat on the couch and winced as I set my foot down, elevated, on a pillow. "I mean the stitches weren't exactly comfortable but I'm okay." I looked towards the whole in my wall that previously held my window before it was shattered and spread across my apartment floor; there was now a large piece of plywood in front of it.

"Phil said people will be over tomorrow to install the security system and fix the window. I-I cleaned up the glass but I would wear shoes for a couple days to be safe." Adam was stuttering letting his nerves show.

"Thanks Adam I really appreciate it." I smiled, reassuring him. I looked at the time on my phone as I yawned, it was just after one in the morning. "Wow, I'm exhausted, you are free to go home," I turned to Neil and gestured to his sweatpants realizing that he was probably in bed when Adam called him.

"I would rather stay here, and I'm kind of not giving you a choice because I'm sure Alex would kill me if I left you alone." He laughed jokingly but we all knew it was slightly true.

"I know I just figured I would offer." I yawned again, this time embracing it and felt my eyes get heavy. I leaned back into Neil who was on the couch with me, I shut my eyes and fell asleep.

~~

I sat up from the couch with my head feeling fuzzy and the world slowly coming into focus
"Trouble just seems to follow you around doesn't it?" Alex said, except he wasn't on the phone, he was sitting next to me on the couch. I spun around and jumped on top of him, I missed him so much it brought tears to my eyes. "Hey sis don't cry now."

"Happy tears Lex, I miss you a lot."

"That's why I'm here isn't it?" he questioned. I processed that he was asking me why he was here.

"This is a dream." I whispered.

"Yupp," he smiled. I looked down, desperately wishing it wasn't a dream. I looked back up to my brother and was terrified at who had replaced him. It was the man who broke into my apartment, his face bruised and bleeding like it was when he was hauled off by the cops.
I screamed.

~~

My heart was racing from the dream-turned-nightmare that just occurred in my head. I sat up and did my best to put weight on my foot, and to my surprise it didn't hurt terribly bad. I went to the kitchen and through the mess started a pot of coffee. While it brewed I decided that I was going to take Neil up on his offer to not go to work today and clean the apartment. I looked at the time to see it was almost noon, I poured two cups of coffee and brought one to Neil. I shook him awake, "Hey dude its almost noon." He groaned and grabbed his phone, I handed him his cup of coffee and he thanked me.

"I haven't slept this late in forever," he laughed to himself.

"What do you mean?"

"Insomnia, are you sure you don't want help cleaning this up?" he asked changing the subject and gestured around the apartment.

"No I'm sure I will be fine, my hand hurts more than my foot so I think I can manage." I joked.

"Alright, call me if you need anything sweets." He finished his coffee quickly and set his cup in the kitchen, kissing my head as he left.

"I promise I will Neil, thank you so much for everything." That was it and he smiled as he closed the door behind him. I looked around the apartment adjusting to the mess that seemed more present in the daylight and suddenly felt over whelmed. I sighed and limped my way over towards my stereo and my epic homemade playlists that I transferred onto CD's. I put the first one in and poured another cup of coffee.

I trudged upstairs and faced my devastated room head on, this was as good a place to start that I was going to get. I made my bed and picked up all the clothes on the floor throwing them on it, I grabbed a black long sleeve flowing shirt and some athletic shorts and made my way to the bathroom. I took a quick shower to wake up and get the day started, I washed my face and pulled my hair into a messy bun but kept my long 'bangs' down to frame my face. I decided against makeup and used the time to call the boys instead, but none of them answered.

I returned downstairs and sang along to the music from various bands as I worked my way around the apartment cleaning up the scattered mess of mine and Alex's belongings. An hour later I poured the last of the coffee and looked at what I had accomplished; almost everything had been put back in boxes and my guitar sat safely in my line of sight on the couch next to my music folder, MacBook and notebook. I took more pain medicine as I finished my small lunch.
I was climbing the stairs when the doorbell rang, I usually would've ignored it given my shitty mood based off of last night events, but this was probably the alarm company or the people coming to replace my window. I opened the door with a fake smile on my face only to be faced with some familiar faces.

"Fuentes?!" I shouted, my excitement bringing tears to my eyes. I jumped onto one of my best friends and hugged him for dear life, it had been a long time since I had seen him. That being the end of Warped Tour last summer where I joined the boys on their crew. I opted out of going with them for the entire tour because it was the summer before senior year and I had a lot of work ahead of me to get to NYU, I did ride along with them for a few shows along the east coast. "Oh my god, its been so long. I missed you so much!"

"Calm down girl, don't you nearly dying on me again," Vic joked. I let him go and turned to Mike hugging him as well.

"Good to see you Gaskarth. How ya been?" Mike asked as hugged me, in a big brother tone. I brought them inside, and showed them to the living room and told them to make themselves at home. I avoided Mike's question momentarily and left to make another pot of coffee knowing they would have some.

I returned and sat down facing Mike, "Honestly I'm a mess, but its a work in progress trying to adjust to them being gone and all. I'm a lot better than I was last year though, I notice an improvement and I know Alex sees it to, he has stopped following me around at least." I laughed.

"Did you write these?" Vic asked, holding my folding and notebook in his hands. He looked up and locked eyes with me, his jaw agape as he stared at me in awe. Mike then moved to his brother's side joining him studying the lyrics and notes.

"Uh, yeah but no one has really heard them, Im still tuning things on the computer-"

"Wait, you've recorded these too?!" Mike shouted. I laughed and my face went flush, not many people knew I wrote and played, not even Alex knew I had recorded us on my laptop when he sat with me after listening to 'Bitter Goodbyes', the song I had written for our brother Tom.

"I guess, its all very amateur though, and I'm still trying to work on lyrics here and there. The only thing I have finished is kind of personal," I admitted, then it occurred to me that they had written and put together their debut album just like this.

"I need to hear this one," he demanded as he handed me the sheet music to a song I had named 'Kevlar'.

"Its not even finished, plus I think I only have the first verse and chorus recorded-" I lied.

"That's all I need then." He smirked as he handed me my laptop, I took it and opened the record's file. I pressed play and as soon as I heard my own voice coming through the speakers my nerves climbed. I was nervous because I didn't write this song because of a relationship heartbreak but because Alex left, and this was the product from that pain.

My love for you was bulletproof, but you're the one who shot me.

Vic shot up from the couch screaming over the music, "Yes girl. Im in love." He continued dancing to the music and when the full song ended Mike looked at me with a cheesy grin on his face.

"What happened to just a verse and the chorus?" Mike joked. "No seriously kid that's awesome, its really cool that you did this all yourself, I'm genuinely impressed."

"I knew you could sing but damn girl you have a hell of a range," Vic said as he sat on the other side of me. "Killer lyrics though, how bad were you hurting?" He asked, his face suddenly expressing concern and worry.

"I didn't speak for a couple days again and got the words out through this," I gestured to the music in front of us. "Alex and everyone is still really worried about me, but I promise I'm doing okay now, really." I assured him smiling a bit.

"I can see where they were coming from to a degree, they took too long to cope with themselves to be able to tell you and because of that you're reaction was pretty much justified." Vic stated, I felt less horrible for hating the guys for a few days knowing at least my best friend had my side.

"How did you know about all that?" I questioned.

"Well all the guys kept calling me for advice to get you to speak or even come out of your room."

"Gotcha," I laughed.

"So whats up with that?" Mike asked, pointing to the plywood covering where my window was supposed to be.

"Its a long story, but its supposed to be getting fixed today," I laughed trying not let my emotions from last night get to me. Vic hugged me again but held on for a little and I hugged him back. We talked for a while just catching up, and it turned out that they were in town on tour which I remembered they had told me at my surprise party. We even carried on through the window getting replaced and my alarm system getting installed. I ordered us pizza around six-thirty, and as we waited we argued what movie we should watch.

"I'm sticking with Talladega Nights," I defended.

"No way I've seen that too many times because of you," Vic teased. "I wanna watch Silent Hill, I'm in the mood for a scary movie." We both looked at Mike to no avail because he honestly couldn't care less what we watched.

We were interrupted when the doorbell rang, I got up and answered it money in hand only to be greeted by the rest of the band, Jamie and Tony. "Oh my god, hey guys!" I shouted as I pulled them into a group hug.

"Hey girly," Jaime said.

"Whats up lady!" Tony exclaimed.

"You're just in time for pizza! Come in and help us pick out a movie."

Once we had decided on a movie with the help of the new arrivals, and I won. "Hey there's nothing wrong with gettin' all jacked up on Mountain Dew," I teased. The doorbell rang for hopefully the last time tonight, I paid for my dinner and took it from the delivery guy thanking him as well.

"Devon did you draw this?" Jaime asked holding up a piece of artwork I had done. I was a watercolor painting of Alice In Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, where Alice was pictured inside the mirror, surrounded by roses and small Easter eggs from each movies such as grow cake, the cheshire cat, a ship and more.

"Yeah, it was just some doodle." I shrugged it off and brought the pizza to the boys on the couch.

"How about instead of re-watching a movie we have all seen, lets go get tattoos! This is my favorite movie and book of all time, I wanna get this if you don't mind."

"What? That's awesome, I'm honored Jaime of course you can get it. I know just the place we can go." I smirked. "But first, picture time!" We all stood together and got into the frame, "Looks perfect guys, thanks. Now to send it to Alex," I laughed knowing it would make him jealous.

So there we were an hour later, standing in my parlor. Evan the guy who asked me out to the boy's concert just about shit his pants when I walked in with the entire band of Pierce the Veil; Making me realize that they were just as well know as All Time Low, and kind of in the same music genre so simply from his reaction he was a fan. Zeia was shamelessly flirting with Mike while doing his tattoo, Vic and I both supported them together because they were really hitting it off.

"So have you decided what you're getting yet?" Vic asked me.

"I have an idea-"

"Devon!" Neil came in and I stood up, he hugged me spinning me around.

"Hey dude, you act like you haven't seen me in months, it has been hours." I said as I turned back to Vic, he stood up as well. "Vic this is Neil, my boss, friend and temporary babysitter provided by the threats of Alex and the rest of them." I joked, I knew Neil wasn't actually threatened buy them but respected myself and the boys included to follow through with their wishes. "Neil, this is one of my best friends Victor."

They shook hands and nodded, "You can call me Vic."

"Nice meeting you dude, where are you guys from?"
"San Diego born, raised and made."

"What do you mean made?" Neil questioned.

"Home studio and all, that's where my brother started our band," he said as he gestured to the rest of his group.

"Oh nice dude, what brings you to the city of the east coast?"

"We are on tour with the band From First to Last. Stopped in on our day off to see this little lady." He said slinging an arm around my shoulder making me laugh and hug his waist. I pulled away a minute later when my phone started ringing.

"Gotta go guys!" I said smiling like an idiot as I darted outside to take the call.
"Brother or boyfriend?" Vic called after me.

"Probably both!" I laughed. "Hey Lex!"

Hey sis, how are you? Is everything okay? Are you okay? How bad is the apartmen-

"Alex!" I yelled "Everything is fine! I took today to clean up the apartment, I got most everything done and picked up; Yes I did eat too, I split a pizza with Vic and the guys. They stopped by, they are in town on tour. The people came to replace the window and install a security system. Im safe now Lex, its okay."

Alright, sorry. I guess I just miss you; I wish I was there to take care of you, I just feel horrible here with that happening to you all alone.

"I'm not alone though Lex, Adam and I hung out and he seems like a really great friend. Plus Neil is following through with his promise and we have become close friends. Im going home in about two weeks to see mom and dad before I start school. How has the studio been?"

Its intense but its crazy fun at the same time, you would fit right in! The band becoming popular is still so surreal, we have a record deal right now! He sighed and I sensed a change in his tone.

"Alex whats wrong?"

Its just hated the way you described we made you feel when we didn't tell you right away, you said that you felt used and forgotten. Devon I cannot express how much you mean to us individually and how much you have impacted us as a band. You taught me guitar, without that alone I doubt we would be where we are today, I seriously owe all of this to you. You are my inspiration, I really want you to know that. I joke around that nothing would come before the band and our future, but you already have Dev. You were there for me even when I didn't want you to be, you met half the band before I did. You were there at every horrible band practice, you were there at every late night gig, you worked your ass off working double shifts working just to get me an amp and stratocaster for our combined birthday and Christmas. I love you sis. After all of that, my whole point of calling is to wish you luck guessing which song is about/for you on the album.

"Alex, I dont know what to say. I-I love you guys-s." I chocked out, holding back the tears. I felt so passionately for my boys, and to finally get some conformation of their intentions and feelings in return I was at a loss for words. I had never been handed so much love and gratitude at once.

I love you too sis, I will see you as soon as possible. Here's Zack.

I sat down trying to compose myself, once again glad I wasnt wearing make up. I took some deep breaths and calmed down enough to carry a conversation.

Hey babe, I miss you. How is everything?

"I miss you too Zack, and Im holding up pretty well I think. I've got some Fuentes and others in my company right now because they are in town on tour, it is really nice seeing them. I cleaned up most of the mess today so the apartment is back to comfortably functioning. How's the studio?"

Ugh its hell. It was originally Alex's idea but the rest of us ended up agreeing with him so here we are, dead tired just leaving the studio around 7 in the afternoon. We get to the studio around nine in the morning or the latest we've gone in was close to nine, but we try to get Alex out by seven if we can.

"Why is he working you guys so hard? You've got lots of time before the tour starts, its only the first week of July, the first show isn't until the fourth of September right? I can talk to him to take it easy on you. This is your guy's job right now, but it shouldn't be torture to the point where you don't want to do it anymore."

I know darling but we are okay, its worth it to hear the new songs recorded. We have more tweaking to do with our producer and vocals, and I've got to work on a couple riffs so I can nail them. They want to release the EP by the end of the summer and have us doing press and shit until we head off for tour.

"I'm sure everything will work out, and those riffs will be perfect. I just cant wait to have you come back for Christmas, I know my mom is already planning her party." I paused and heard him try to hide a yawn. "Darling go to bed, I love you so much I will call you tomorrow." I wanted to ask if they would have a little time off before tour started but I didn't want to make him feel guilty if they couldn't get the time off, so I kept it to myself.

How about I call you Dev, we are only working int the studio until noon because they have us doing an interview and press stuff for the rest of the day. So we wont be late and we could probably have time to Skype if you're up for it.

"Okay Zack, I love you. Sleep sweet love." I whispered into the phone and ended the call feeling relieved that they were doing great work but I miss them and wished them well. I gathered my composure and returned inside, "What did I miss?" I yelled laughing amidst the chaos of my friends and co workers getting along.

"Absolutely nothing," Vic laughed as he turned to me. "So are you going to tell me what tattoo you're getting?"

"I know for sure I'm getting something behind me ear but I'm not telling you what it means yet, just know Alex is planning on getting the same thing. I will tell you though that I'm getting this on arm." I held up a picture of two peonies I had drawn.

"Wow that's gorgeous, did you draw that?"

"Yeah one flower for my mom and one for my dad-"

"Yet another amazing drawing from New York City's growing artist." Neil said laughing. "Half the pieces we have up on the walls and in the book behind the counter Devon has drawn. Not to mention that my friends on the west coast love your work too and have some works of yours in their shops. Plus most of my mates here in the city are dying to meet the girl behind the art."

"Wow Devon, I knew you had talent and I'm glad you're finally letting it show. You should hear the song she showed us earlier; not only did she write but she sang, played and recorded the whole damn thing." I felt my face flush and elbowed Vic, this changing the subject between the boys as I walked away. Then I gave Nick, one of the artists, my drawing and watched as he took my drawing and made it to a template.

"Great, thanks Nick." I smiled, genuinely loving the way it turned out. Nick had recently been the one doing most of my work so I was glad I had him doing my tattoo. I appreciated that Neil took notice that he could maintain the essence of my original drawing while improving it with his own flare. "So how is Amy?" I asked about his girlfriend that I had met a handful of times, in an attempt to make conversation.

"We are really good, I-I-We are coming up on our four year anniversary and I just hope she says yes," he said with his face flushed as he pulled out a small velvet box, opening it to reveal a gorgeous engagement ring.

"Congratulations Nick, I am so happy for you guys. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help!" I beamed and smiled, they were a genuinely adorable couple. He put the ring back into his desk drawer for safe keeping placed the template and after a few adjustments he went to work. We carried on a light conversation as I relaxed back into the chair while he inked away.

As he tried to focus so I stopped talking but my mind didn't stop thinking; Would Zack and I make it to a point where forever became a possibility? I loved him with all my heart and he made me so innocently happy that I hoped we would make it to that day where forever became a reality. I never considered settling down and maybe starting a family, but all of a sudden, with Zack it was like a movie in my head that played on repeat. Images of the ring Nick showed me kept returning to my mind, my emotions felt so strong as if this was real, and soon after that a vision of myself but older, bathed in white lace down my arms, standing next to Zack, also older and still as handsome as ever, in a tux waiting for me, then kissing me and both of us crying happy tears. My heart raced with joy and complete bliss, knowing I had the man I loved by my side forever. Moments later a tiny human handed to me in a blue blanket, in a hospital room and I look up to see Zack looking at his son and Alex completely taken away by his nephew. Then me standing side stage dancing with my son on my hip wearing earmuffs to look out and see All Time Low headlining a European tour. My heart was racing and I had tears in my eyes when they finally opened, I looked down and Nick was nearly finished. I breathed a sigh of relief, needing a moment alone.

"You're all set with this one, you said to wanted one behind you're ear too?" Nick asked as he finished cleaning up my arm and bandaging it with plastic.

"Uh-ya its this," I said handing him the drawing of a cartoon looking skull and crossbones. "I just am going to run to the bathroom while you template it."

"Sounds good!" He smiled, taking it and walking away. I took up and took a deep breath as I walked over to Vic.

"Hey, can w-we talk outside for a minute?" I asked him as he approached me smiling.

"Of course lets go." He put an arm around my shoulders and we were met by the chill of autumn as we walked outside and sat at the nearest bench. "Whats up Devon?"

"Okay so you're my best friend so what I'm about to is absolutely confidential."
"Got it boss," he joked, faking a solute.

"I think I'm just realizing now how in love with Zack I am, and its kind of scaring the hell out of me. Nick was telling me how he is planning to propose to his girl of four years and showed me the ring and after that I turned all mush. We talked but I let him work in peace for a bit and so I shut up and closed my eyes, then I started seeing visions of a ring similar to Nick's but not the same, and then Zack and I were older and getting married, then the next thing I see is we have a son and everything is wonderful and nothing is bad at all, everything turns out so perfect. I felt the emotions as if it was really happening and it was all so much at once and when I opened my eyes, I returned to boring old me with a boyfriend in a band and I felt like I had already lost both him and the imaginary son we had created. I'm just scared as hell Vic and I don't know what I would do if I lost him." I had tears rolling down my cheeks at this point and I didn't realize it until I stopped talking.

"Devon," Vic sighed as he pulled me into a hug. "That's nothing to cry about, I get it you are scared but as of right now I don't see any way how that couldn't happen. You and Zack are literally perfect and seem to just be made for each other, just the way you and Alex work so good around each other. You have nothing to worry about Dev, just go be happy and don't worry about what you can't control right now."

"Thanks Vic, it really means a lot from you. I just hope if the day comes I will be ready for it." I whispered as we walked back inside. I sat back down with Nick and with my hair pulled up, he started on the silly tattoo I had drawn, but in a way it meant so much more than it portrayed. When I was first teaching Alex how to play guitar, we joked around that we would start a band and the cartoon skull and crossbones was going to be on every album cover when we became famous.

Nick had finished and I had him take a picture for me so I could see it, "Oh my god, its perfect thank you so much!" I hugged him as I stood up from his chair. "It has a lot of meaning behind it so its everything to me. Thank you Nick, oh and good luck with Amy!" I smiled and skipped out of my parlor with a Fuentes on each arm.

"See now that was was more fun than re-watching your movies," Jamie laughed.
"Definitely!" Vic and I said in unison, making us crack up.

"What time is it?" Tony asked, I looked down to check my phone and I couldn't believe it was nearly eleven at night.

"Its almost eleven, why whats up?" I questioned as I climbed the stairs to my apartment.

"Shit well we are leaving at four tomorrow to go to Albany, I think that's the next show." Mike admitted.

"Aw guys," I whined pulling them into a group hug in front of my door. "I'm so glad I got to see you though! I missed you guys so this was a very overdue visit." I said as we all pulled apart, I turned and hugged both Vic and Mike individually. "Now boys lets try to make the next span apart not so long." I pretend scolded them but failed and laughed.

"You've got a deal missy!" Vic laughed as we hugged one more time but he held on for a moment only to whisper in my ear, "Call me anytime, no matter what time in your zone or mine. And if I am not one of the first people to hear about the engagement of you two dorks, I might have to kill you myself." I pulled away from my best friend with tears in my eyes but laughed at his empty threat and attempt at a joke.

"Got it boss," I laughed, mimicking him from earlier. They said their goodbyes and retreated down the stairs of my building, I turned to my door unlocking it with my new key, once inside I crossed the room to the alarm panel and punched in my code disabling the alarm. I kicked off my shoes, returned to my door and locked it. I picked up the mess of our pizza dinner in the living room and laughed to myself, thinking that I'm always going to be cleaning up after some boys in a band.

I alarmed my system again before heading upstairs for the night, I put away the clothes that I threw on my bed earlier; I brushed my teeth and washed my face, looked into the mirror and decided to braid my hair for the night. I returned to my room and crawled under my covers after I changed into my pajamas, which only consisted of one of Zack's t-shirts, I grabbed my phone shot Vic a text saying 'safe travels, good seeing all of you. have fun on tour, love ya bestie. xx'
I yawned, shut my phone for the night and turned off the light on the stand next to my bed then my head hit the pillow, I soon drifted off to sleep thinking of Zack, smiling to myself.

~~

I woke up the next morning first checking the time, close to 10 am. I dragged myself out of bed and headed downstairs to start a pot of coffee. I limped my way down the stairs and to the kitchen, my stitches feeling a little sensitive. While I waited for the coffee to brew I made a small breakfast of oatmeal with fruit, I sat in the living room with coffee in one hand and my oatmeal in my lap. I turned my head thinking I heard someone knock but just blamed the neighbors and kept to myself. I opened a book I had picked up at a local store and started reading while eating breakfast.

Soon enough I was captivated by the author and their characters and found myself out of oatmeal, I bookmarked my page and closed the book. I grabbed my bowl and my cup before returning to the kitchen, I refilled my cup with more coffee and set my bowl in the sink. I retreated to the stairs so I could get dressed and get some school shopping done today before I had to work at three, but stopped myself short when I caught someone banging on my apartment door. I disabled my alarm system and opened the door to the most uninvited guest.

"What are you doing here Hannah?"

Notes

Bitch is baack. Im seriously too hype about writing the end of this story and blah blah blah, I love mushy shit. sue me.