Alex POV

I woke up hoping that the past two days were all a dream. But to no avail I sat up in the soft lavender room with the quiet pinging of my monitors. The tiny drip drip drip of my IV was memorizing. A knock on the door accompanied by Mitch signaled that it was time for breakfast. As I got out of bed my bones cracked, a lovely sound that reminds me I am human. The bright lights of the common room stung my eyes as I pulled my baggy sweater sleeves over my hands. I sat with Mitch and mike and we talked about music. I ate all of my breakfast and felt very little remorse. I guess I'm getting better. Mike and I were hanging out in my room when Mitch came in announcing that he was to change my dressings.

"You might want to leave. You might be triggered" I said sincerely

"Nah. I don't get triggered that much anymore. I've been getting really good at it" mike smiled

"Okay but I'm warning you. It's a bit gory" I said as Mitch began unwrapping my left arm

"Plus we were in the middle of our conversation. It would be a shame if we stopped and forgot what we were saying" mike smiled

"Very true. Oh where were we. Oh yeah twenty one pilots." I smiled

"Yeah. How do you like the blurryface album. Amazing right" mike grinned

"Oh yeah. One of their best records." I said as Mitch unwound all the cotton stuff leaving my arm pretty exposed

"You actually like that stuff" Mitch chimed in as he began on my right hand

"Hell yeah. It's ukulele rap." Mike smiled

"Whatever" Mitch scoffed

"Hey I don't judge your music" I got defensive

"I'm not judging. I'm just comparing" Mitch finished unwrapping my other arm

As Mitch took of the small squares of gauze I could see mike get uneasy. Either he is just a blood sensitive person or he is just a weak stomached person. The peroxide based cleanser formed tiny bubbles at the base of each wound. As my fragile arms air dried I looked over my 'work'. Is it sick minded to call it that. I don't know. I could see mike out of the corner of my eye eyeing them down. Still I couldn't figure out his emotion filled face. Mitch finally re-wrapped my arms and went on his way. My hoodie sleeves returned to their position covering my hands. I had to keep these wrapped up for another week or two. I don't know how I'm going to get through school. I wonder what jack is doing. I dug around for my book. This book is not only special for the fact that it is a really good book but it is also special because of its built in secret compartment. It seamlessly meshed with the rest of the books pages letting it pass through the psych wards doors. Like I suspected the books dirty little secret was empty besides a few little slips of paper tucked between the pages. One had my friend Cassidy's number on it. Cassidy and I have been friends since we were babies. She was my other half until three years ago when her parents found work in California, she had to move all the way from Maryland to San Francisco. We kept in contact until last summer. She got busy with her friends. She took up surfing and put down her guitar. A shame. She was amazing. Cas had a real potential of being a big shot in the music industry. She wanted to get into production. She had plans to open her own studio and have a label.

"Hey. You hooooo. You can't just go blank on a person. You've been staring at your wall for like ten minutes." Mike snapped his fingers in front of my face

"Sorry. I was thinking of a friend" I sighed

"Wanna talk about it" mike scooted closer to me

"Nah. I just miss her" I reminisced

"Is she gone, moved away, or just someone you see every day but because you're in here you can't talk to her" he asked politely

"Moved away. Cali. I haven't talked to her in months." I looked at the book

"There's a phone in the hall. You could use it." Mike suggested

"I'll call her later" I put the book on my table

"Hey I noticed your callouses. What do you play" he changed the subject


"Guitar. You" I responded

"Guitar as well. I have one with me. Wanna play" he suggested

"You're allowed to have guitars" I asked

"Yeah. I've been here before so they let me bring it in because it makes me happy" mike got up
from his seat

"Hell yeah. Let's go" I followed mike to his room

"Welcome to my humble abode" mike opened the door to his room

"Nice place" I said looking around

His room was a nice minty color and he had a acoustic guitar sat on a the small metal dresser that everyone has in their room. He picked it up.

"How long have you played" I asked mike

"Since middle school. My dad taught me. You?" he sat on his window sill as I sat on the edge of his desk

"Third or fourth grade. My older brother taught me" I smiled thinking of Tom

"That's nice. You have any other siblings" mike asks

"Nah. Just me and my brother. You?" I responded

"Yeah. I got a little sister and an older one." he replied

"No brothers. I feel bad for you" I smiled

"Yeah it gets annoying sometimes but I love them. I just hope my younger sister doesn't turn
out like me. Her and I are super close. She was the one that wanted me to get help" mike
looked at his guitar

"I'm sorry man. How about we stop the sad talk and play." I suggested

"Good idea. What songs do you know?" Mike asked

"All of blinks songs. Most of American idiot and dookie by green day. A ton of other stuff" I exclaimed

"Dude. Rad." Mike smiled

"You know any of those" I asked

He didn't respond in words. He just started playing homecoming by green day. I smiled and started humming along.

The lunch bell rang as I was playing basket case by green day. Mike and I sat together once again. While we were eating a very pretty girl walked by. She had bright teal hair, was very slender, and had her septum pierced. She was beautiful.

"Hey what's her deal" I asked mike

"Oh. That's Cadence. If I remember right she is anorexic and also self harms. She is in and out every six months or so. She is cool. Pretty good music taste." Mike said while pushing carrots around his plate

"What do you think she is in for" I enquired

"Judging on how thin she looks, her parents probably sent her here because they can't get her to eat." Mike took a bite out of his turkey sandwich

"Oh. Okay" I sighed

"You think she is cute don't you" mike punched my shoulder

"I have my eyes on someone already" I smiled thinking of jack

"Who's the lucky gal" mike asked

"He is my music theory teacher. Don't worry it's totally legal" I thought of jacks smile

"You're gay?" He asked

"I'm not sure what I am. I think I like girls. And I think I like guys." I contemplated

"You're probably bi or pan. It's cool. Whatever you are I'm cool with it" mike smiled

"Yeah you're probably right" I sighed

"When lunch is over I'm going to call a few people and then hang out in my room. I need some time to think" I told him as he took a bite of his sandwich

"Okay. Are you doing okay?" He asked

"I'm fine. I just need to get myself together. I might talk to the psychologist" I said as I got up to through my trash out

"Okay. You get out tomorrow right" he asked

"Yeah sadly. I'm not ready for school" I frowned thinking of that hell hole

"It will be okay. I promise" mike smiled


"I'm not to sure about that. I'm totally not looking forward to going back." i looked at the hem of my hoodie

"you gotta stay strong buddy" Mike patted my back


"Yeah. I guess" I smiled falsely

As the bell rang I got up and went to my room. I really needed to calm down. I was working myself up over going back to school. I called Mitch in and asked him if I could get something to calm me down. He squirted some super concentrated anxiety medication into a bag of saline and hung it on the pole.

"This should help" he smiled as he connected the tube to my IV and checked my blood pressure

"Thanks. Can I talk to you?" I asked

"Of course. What's picking your brain." He asked

"I leave tomorrow and I go back to school Friday. I'm scarred. I have this whole reputation to fill. I can't be know as the kid who cuts" I calmly said

"I'm not going to tell you to lie but you could always avoid the subject when people ask. Wear hoodies and long sleeves until the scars fade. Or maybe drop the reputation. Be the person you want to be. Who cares if you hurt yourself. You might loose friends but those people didn't care about you in the first place" Mitch sat on the corner of my bed facing me

"I've been wanting to drop my reputation for years now but I still don't have the courage to do so. People think I'm a sex crazed teenage boy who is super popular and loves hooking up with chicks on the weekend. But I'm really a lost boy who has great taste in music and wants to help people. I don't want to keep up this alter ego. You know, maybe I should just go back completely different. This was a wake up call for me. I knew I was a terrible person but I didn't know that I was this bad to myself. It's just sad. I treated people terribly. I was never ashamed of my scars I just never wanted anyone to see them. Screw it. I am sick of covering them. I don't care. I'm going back Friday and I'm wearing sweats and short sleeves." I smiled pulling up my hoodie sleeves

"Good for you. Be yourself. You'll do great kid." Mitch walked over and gave me a hug

"Wow this stuff works fast" I looked at my hand as I started getting sort of sleepy

"It is probably making you tired. If it is don't fight it. Give your body a break and sleep for a bit" Mitch said walking to the door

"Okay. Can you turn the lights off. I think I am going to sleep" I smiled as my eyelids got heavy

"Okay. Want me to wake you up for dinner?" He asked

"No. I should be awake by then" I smiled as the drugs really set in
"Okay." Mitch turned out the lights and closed my door as my eyelids closed

Notes

Hey guys! I'm back and for real this time. sorry for the super long wait for the new chapter but i moved and ended up not having wifi for about three weeks yikes! but now I have internet and ill be updating every week to every other week. its good to be back and writing. hope you enjoy this chapter.