Some Days Feel Like Razorblades

Jack POV

Great. Second day of school and I'm running late. I call the school and tell them what's going on and they say that I have to be here in 15 minutes or the dean is just going to leave. I speed into the parking lot and run into the building to my class. The kids are behaving and everyone just stares at me.
"Sorry guys it's been a weird morning" I explain
"No problem mr.b" Rian said
"There's a note on your desk" Cass pointed
"Thanks guys. Just take a free day." I sighed as I noticed alex was not in school
The note on my desk read "Jack Barakat, your student Alexander Gaskarth will not be in school for the next three days due to personal reasons" I brushed it off and shoved the note in the wire basket on my desk.
As the day went on the note kept running through my head. Tom and I were pretty close when we were in school together and even were in a band sophomore year. While searching for his number in my phone I got to thinking about alex. I hope he is okay. I wouldn't want anything to happen to him so I decidedly text Tom.

Me: hey tom. How are you
Tom: hey jack. I'm good. Long time no talk. How are you
Me: I'm good. How's alex.
Tom: he's okay. Why do you ask.
Me: this is going to sound weird but I am actually his theory teacher.
Tom: no way. What a small world aye
Me: yeah I know. I got a note that he would not be here for a few days and I wanted to see what's going on
Tom: oh. Well keep this between us but he attempted suicide and is in the hospital.
Me: my god. I'm so sorry Tom. I have to go, my next hour is coming in now. Want to get coffee later and talk.
Tom: yeah that would be awesome.
Me: okay talk to you later
Tom: bye

My heart was in my converse and my head was clouded. As the last hour passed I texted Tom asking him where and when he wanted to meet me. We decided on the starbucks close to our houses. I got there first and ordered my coffee. Tom came in as I was sitting there waiting for my coffee to cool. Tom ordered a tea and came to sit down.

"Hey" I smiled
"Hey" he looked at his hands
"So about Alex I wish I could help." I looked at the table
"How did you go through... You know... Macy" he looked up
"I didn't. I'm still not the same again."
(Macy was my girlfriend senior year. She committed suicide the week before finals. She was so stressed with school and the fact that she didn't get into her first choice school so she ended her life)
"I'm still sorry about that"
"It's not your fault. It's the pressure we put on kids to be perfect" I sighed
"Very true. When alex goes back to school don't tell him I told you. Let him tell you" Tom suggested
"This conversation never happened. Got it" I smiled
"I have to go finish up some things at home, I'll text you" Tom said
"Okay." We got up and went our ways

I sat in my car in silence for a good 20 minutes and cried. All the memories with Macy flooding back in my head. All the good times we had. All the bad times we had. Getting the call from her parents. Staying out of school for weeks. My teachers giving me sympathy A's on all my finals because they felt sorry. I drove home and sat in my room and decided to draw a bath. Maybe that will calm me down. I sat in the mildly scalding water and dropped in a lavender bath bomb. Yeah I like bath bombs so what. They smell nice and make bubbles. I didn't want to admit it to Tom but after the whole Macy incident I was totally unstable. I was harming and purging and starving. All in hope of finding some way to feel something. The scars on my forearms prove I was weak and I'm not proud of them but they are there. Some days I want to relapse and some days I do relapse. Life is a bitch. I sat there thinking about my life. Reevaluating every little thing. Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought of my father, how he blamed me for her death. That drunken bastard caused so much hell in my life. Now I just hope and pray that I don't become him.

Notes

comment and tell me how you like this story.
this week is spring break so I'm hoping to write more chapters and release the chapters I have already written .