Some Days Feel Like Razorblades

ALEX POV

Who would've known that me, the happiest, most fun person in school was a cutter. Best part is that I have no one home I can talk to. Literally my mom went off on a 'business trip' and left me and my brother with all her money and such. I doubt she is coming back. She said that all the bills were paid off and she packed a few bags and left while Tom and I were at school. Tom goes to college and stays at school. He only came home for holidays but I doubt that he is coming home any time soon. So I have to deal with all this shit by myself. Maybe I should use my moms money and check myself in for a 72 hour hold, Maybe I should just kill myself. Everyone tells me to so why not. As soon as jack pointed to my hip I got up and left and stupid me forgot my backpack on his desk. I went and sat in my car. As I sat and cried I thought that maybe I should just kill myself. It would put me out of my misery. Depression and self harm worsened, anorexia got really really bad. I decided that I should drive home and cry there because crying in public is terrible because someone could see you. I pulled up to the gate of my community and punched in the code. This was the first time I had been home in 3 days. I pulled into the drive way, got out and ran to the door. As I opened it the tears started again. I was pacing the house debating the pros and cons of suicide. After about half and hour of consecutive passing, constructing my suicide plan, I grabbed my phone and set it up on the counter and started to record the video. My final words. I said good bye to my mom and Tom. Told everyone else to fuck off. As I was about to shut the video off I thought of jack.
"Jack Barakat. Although I have only known you for a day you might be the only true 'friend' that I have. I'm sorry." I muttered
"Mom I'm sorry I love you, Tom stay safe do good in school, and anyone else who I liked or who liked me, stay safe it gets better usually. In some cases life is just not good. Good bye all" I shut it off and went upstairs maybe my last time climbing these stairs
As I prepped everything I was getting happy, An almost euphoria just thinking of how I would soon be free of my life of sadness. I brought out my arsenal of blades. Pulling out a shinny fresh blade seeing my grin in the metal shard. I undressed down to my boxers and stared at my reflection. Scar tissue upon scar tissue. 1,500 plus scars litter my legs, stomach, and upper arms. I redressed and picked up the blade off the counter. Twiddling with it between my fingers deciding where to make the first cuts. Choosing my left arm, my sleeve was rolled up and so it began. By the end my hands were clad in blood and my vision blurring. As my body collapsed to the floor the front door opened and toms familiar voice filled my ears. The last thing my brain could fathom was tom walking down the hall calling my name. I was passing out. This was the end.

Notes

Sorry guys, I know its short, but I like writing many short chapters instead of a few long and drawn out chapters. tell me what you think. any feedback is welcome.