*August 8, 2013*
*Thursday*

I lay on my back in the bed, i don't understand what is happening. I close my eyes pressing my lids as hard against each other as I can. I just want to undo what happened today, my fingers curl into my hair when I hear the knock on the door.
"Hanna, it's me. Jack." I sigh, he sounds concerned.
"I'm not letting you in." I say hardly loud enough for him to hear.
"You are in my home. Come on." I don't know what I want right now, so I don't respond, "Just let me in. I want to talk. Nothing more... Unless you need a hug." I sigh and get to my feet dragging myself over to the door, I pull it open so I stand face to face with Jack whose eyebrows seem to be raised higher then possible.
"Hi." I mutter and look down, I hear a soft chuckle escape his lips,
"Come on." He throws his arm over my shoulder and pulls me back out of the room to the hall.
"Jack where are you taking me?" I start to pull away as soon as we get out the front door.
"I want to show you something." My struggle only makes him hold onto my shoulders tighter and drag me over to the elevator.
"Jack.." I groan, "please I don't have the energy for any of this right now." I follow him reluctantly.
"We aren't even leaving the building. Just trust me for once." He turns letting me go as he steps into the now open elevator giving me the obvious choice to go back to the room or to go with him.
"You are such an ass." I mumble and step into the elevator, I lean against the back door and chew on the inside of my lip feeling slightly impatient. He presses the very top button labeled 'R'
"We're going to the roof?" He turns to face me just as the question escapes my lips.
"Yeah." His big eyes stare at me as if what i said has no significance and wanted me to explain why I would ask such a thing.
"Oh." He turns back around and the door opens up to show a little deck area that must have been set up with lawn chairs and a lantern. I follow Jack out of the elevator, he walks over directly to the edge of the building. He looks down to the street so far below us.
"I figured this would be a better place to talk." He glances at me from the corner of his eye as I speak.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"Well, I'm curious as to why Alex text’ed me telling me that you and Matt, I'm quoting, Broke up?" He steps back and walks over to the lawn chairs taking a seat.
"Don't worry Matt and I aren't a thing." I follow taking a seat next to him.
"Well i know, but what happened at the diner or wherever you went." He shrugs getting comfortable as he pulls a knob making the chair fall back to a more relaxed position. I close my eyes and gather my thoughts for a minute as a warm breeze hits my face. It's nice out, good for clearing my head. Cozy, but not as cozy as sitting in Minnesota during a snowstorm with a hot chocolate and movies playing while you sit next to the fire. I think back to nights like those to relax and keep myself from becoming over emotional.
"We were in Rian's apartment an he was working, I was relaxed and had my feet in his lap when he told me he wanted to grab a bite to eat with me. We flirted abit and I stupidly and pre maturely asked about how you and Alex would always drop hints about how he might like me. He took my hand, and then told me I was beautiful and it would be great to be in a relationship with me." I pause "and I guess I had my hopes up that I may have finally gotten a chance to become something with a not dead-beat guy who has a job and might treat me well. I let myself realize that I really do like Matt. I guess I knew that I did since that first day when I met you guys." I laugh and run a hand through my hair sliding back laying down on the chair, I look up at the stars.
"I kept thinking about what his type was, so I was worried that maybe I would look too goth for him or too preppy. I thought maybe I would be too loud or look and sound like a crazy Fan girl and only drive him away." I look over at Jack who has a grin on his face
"Oh trust me, we could all tell you we're a fan. No normal person would be so open to us. Not the way you were those first few days." He laughs "I don't know if you noticed it but you were always tapping your foot with a nervous energy I Guess." I smile at him and lean back, looking up at the clear Baltimore sky. We're just far enough out of the city that you can get a beautiful view of the stars from where we lay.
"Well, after he told me that he said we couldn't ever be together." I frown, I can practically feel Jacks eyes on me.
"What was his excuse?"
"He's my boss." I feel my heart sink a little just saying it. Acknowledging that its fact.
"That's it?" He practically shouts, "that idiot turned you down, because he thinks its bad for the workplace?" I raise an eyebrow at Jack, he laughs and throws his arms in the air disbelieving.
"I guess." My heart sinks a little more, "the thing is, I don't know if I like the idea of being with him, and hurt for the rejection, or if I like the idea of having love, and hurt for the loss of an opportunity."
Jack nods at me understandingly,
“I understand what you mean, but really. What’s the worst that’ll happen?” He sits up looking down at me, “you go for it and he says no?”
“And then touring is awkward..” I mumble
“Or you go for it and he says yes, and you give it a shot. Maybe you will find that thing you seem to be looking for.” I sigh and hug my chest,
“But then what happens if something happens on tour and he and I break up? My ex is my boss and I loose my job.” I roll my head over to look at Jack who chuckles.
“What am I? Do you honestly think that Alex and I would let that happen?” He grins at me widely and pats my knee. “Come on, Lets go back downstairs. I’m hungry.”

Notes

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