When It's Broke It's Perfect

Today was the first day I definitely felt pregnant other than the whole morning sickness piece. I am pretty sure I can no longer fit in my jeans and my shirts are starting to fit funny. Oh the joys of pregnancy and I am only 16 weeks along. It probably does not help that I have been eating everything in sight the last 2 days out of fear of seeing Zack and or his friends. Gotta love my job sometimes. It can be super inconvenient.
“Kate do you have any clean leggings? Nothing is fitting,” I ask with a pout.
Kate giggles and throws me the most hideous pair of leggings I have ever seen.
“You call him yet?” she asks as she tosses them to me.
“No I have not had time.”
“Cal you have got to stop stalling. And I cannot stall Jack from telling him himself for much longer.”
“I will god! It’s my choice you two just need to get over it!”
Can you say yay for pregnancy hormones. These things are awful. I do not wish any pregnancy symptoms on anyone. You get fat, have weird ass cravings, can’t fit in clothes on the daily, and are a bitch ¾ of the time. It does not help that I have to go into Townson today to get clothes for the next few weeks since I will be on my last big business trip before baby comes starting in a couple days.
“Sorry Kate. I am just dreading this whole going into town thing.”
“Why?” She seemed super annoyed as she said this.
“What if I see him Kate? I mean look at me, it is becoming obvious that I have not just gotten fat. Or even worse what if I see someone who knows him and then THEY tell him.”
“Then it will be out in the open Cali. Which means you won’t have to worry about doing this alone any longer. You have to do it sometime, if not for him at least for his parents and the baby.”
I know she is right. In fact I have been trying to get up the courage to get his cell number from Jack and call him up and just spill the beans. But I keep chickening out. I guess just out of fear of rejection. Even worse him not believing the baby is his. Either is a very plausible outcome. And either outcome is just as frightening.
Once I get to the mall I kind of relax a little bit. Why would I see him there anyway? It’s not like he walks the mall like a 15 year girl anymore. I sort of b line it straight to Topshop and try to find cheap yet practical clothing for this growing thing attached to me. That is when I hear her voice. At first I can’t quite place who the voice belongs to but then it hits me, Lisa. She is in the same location as me. I try to quickly think of reasons of why I am dressed this way and why I have let myself go. By the time I semi think of something she is has come over to me to chat.
“Cali! Oh my goodness, it has been so long since I have seen you,” she says as she goes in for a hug. Please baby don’t start kicking at this moment.
“Hi.” is all I can summon up to say back to her.
“How have you been? You are glowing…”
Shit she has noticed. “I have been okay. Just trying to get over this cold thing that is going around.” Hopefully she bought it.
“Cali, can I be honest with you?”
“Sure.” That is when the butterflies began to creep up again in my stomach.
“You look like you have let yourself go. Like you just can’t handle the world now and are eating your sorrows away.”
“Oh yeah…I guess you could say that.”
“Am I wrong?”
“Yeah a little.”
“Well it is either that or you are expecting.”
I can’t even say a word. I probably look like a deer in headlights at this point.
“Oh my god! You’re pregnant aren’t you?” She sounds so excited.
“You caught me,” I say with a giggle.
“How far along?”
“About 16 weeks…”
“Wait… is it-”
“Yes it is Zack’s baby but do not tell him Lisa, I haven’t had the chance to break the news yet.”
“He going to be so excited. You have to tell him. I mean Cali he has been in love with you since you were 18.”
“Just promise me you will not tell Zack Lisa.”
“I won’t… but I have to warn you. All of the guys are in the mall right now Cal. You better tell him before someone else sees you.”
And that is when I saw him walk into the store. F M L...

Notes