Shameless

Since Alex and I made up two weeks ago, everything’s been great. We talk everyday, and hang out all the time. We’ve become great friends. The only thing that sucks, is just that. That we’re just friends.
Friends and nothing more. And sure, that is what I wanted at first, but now? I’m just not so sure. I sometimes feel like I miss how we used to be before, but then I have to remind myself of the reason we aren’t anymore.
My past will just come back up and bite me in the ass. Plus, Alex doesn’t deserve a piece of shit like me.
I shook those thoughts away when he texted me.
Alex: Are you coming or what??
We were actually about to go to the Maryland state fair today. I was supposed to pick him up like thirty minutes ago, but I’m just now walking out the door.
Me: Yeah yeah. Be there in 10.
I walked out to my car and got in, then saw he texted back.
Alex: That’s what you said last time..
Me: Shut uppp I’m almost theerree!
Alex: Lol still waitinnggg.
I rolled my eyes at his text, and began driving. I was really excited to see him again, even though I saw him yesterday. We both had work yesterday, and only saw each other between shifts.
But today, I’ll have the entire day with him. And for some reason, it makes me feel all warm inside. Just the thought of him makes me happy.
I smiled at my happy Alex thoughts, as I pulled up to his apartment. He was standing outside looking as cute as he could be, wearing a GK top and a pair of skinnies.
He smiled when he saw me, and came running over to get in the passengers seat.
“Whoa, someone’s excited!” I chuckled, pulling off to get back on the road.
“Well duh, of course I am! I’ve never been to a carnival down here before!” Alex rolled his eyes and continued to beam with excitement.
“Is that all you’re excited about?” I glanced at him for a moment before looking back at the road. I could see him turning to give me a confused look in the corner of my eye. “Well..what else is there to be excited about?”
“Maybe the fact that we’re both off work today and so you get to spend the entire day with me!” I glanced at him again to give him a smirk.
“Aw shit. Shut up Jack.” He rolled his eyes at me and turned to face the road as well.
“But aren’t you though?” I continued to pester him.
“Of course I am.” He said in all seriousness, turning to look at me. I glanced at him as well, and the feeling I felt when our eyes connected was just too much to handle.
I don’t know what it was..it was just a feeling..a connection, maybe. A moment where we both knew that we were thinking about the same thing.
The way we used to be.
I quickly looked away, wanting to get those thoughts of out my mind.
We’re friends now.
I continued to tell myself this the entire way there, until I saw a giant ferris wheel in view, and I could hear Alex squealing from beside me like a little kid.
“We’re here Jack!!” He was practically bouncing out of his seat.
“I know, I know! Try not to bang your head on the roof!” I laughed as I parked the car.
I didn’t even unbuckle my seatbelt before he was already scrambling out of the car. I got out of the car and walked with him to the ticket line.

Once we got our tickets, we were just walking through, seeing the sights and smelling the smells. I looked over at Lex and he had the biggest smile on his face. It actually brightened my day to see him so happy.
“So where do you wanna go first?”
“I don’t know! Umm..uh..ooh there! Let’s go there!!” He grabbed my hand and ran over towards some medium-sized coaster.
“Okay okay, chill!” I chuckled, stumbling over to the line with him.
“Geez, Lex. Have you ever even been to a fair before?”
“Well..yeah! A long time ago, though. I was only a kid.” He shrugged. That’s when I noticed he was still holding my hand.
“Uh..Lex?” I awkwardly nodded down to our hands.
His eyes widened in realization, and quickly snatched his hand away as if I were on fire.
“S-sorry I wasn’t-“
“It’s fine, cutie.” I laughed it off.
“Cutie??” He raised a brow at me.
“Hey, we might only be friends now, but the nickname stays!” I smirked down at him.
He rolled his eyes at me and looked away, but I noticed him trying to hide his smile.
Soon enough, the line progressed, and it was our turn to ride. We gave the man our tickets, and were soon buckled up for the ride. Lex still had that dumb ass grin on his face, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him. He turned his head and caught me doing it.
“What?”
“Huh?”
“Why’d you roll your eyes?”
“Nothing. Just enjoy the ride, cutie.” I smirked and turned to face ahead.
And sure enough, the coaster was soon jerking forward into motion, and through all of its twists and turns.
When the ride was over, it was only the beginning.
Lex kept going on about how fun it was, and ended up dragging me on like five more. I was perfectly fine with this; I love rollercoasters. But it was when we got to the biggest and fastest one in the park, is when I got concerned.
Alex always tried to put up a brave front as if he could handle it, but I’m pretty sure I saw him shaking a little from the last one.
“Lex, are you sure you wanna ride this one?” I gave him a worried look as we stood in line for it.
“What do you mean am I sure?? Of course I’m sure!” He began to get all defensive. “
Okay, well I’m just-“
“You’re just what, Barakat? Are you scared or something?” He crossed his arms and smirked at me.
“Don’t get all full of yourself, kid. I’m not scared; it’s you that I’m worried about!”
“Whatever, you’re chickening out on me, aren’t you..kid?” He mocked, with a big, proud grin on his face.
“I’m no chicken, cutie.” I crossed my arms as well. “Chiiickkenn!!” He started bringing his arms up and flapping them like a chicken.
I rolled my eyes at him.
“You’re such a child.”
“I’m older than you.”
“You’re still a child.”
Just then, the line moved up, and it was our turn to go.
“So..are you coming with me, or not?” Alex smirked, turning around to face me again.
I glared at him as I handed the man my ticket.
“You’re on, cutie.”

The second we got off the ride, Alex was a shaking mess. “See? Who’s the chicken now?” I gave him a smug look as we walked.
“I-I’m not ch-chicken if I did it..” He continued to tremble, with an annoyed look on his face.
“But you were screaming like a little girl the whole time! You were scared as fuck!” I laughed with pride.
“Okay, please continue making me feel like shit, thanks.” He looked serious, and I stopped laughing immediately.
“Whoa, sorry Lex. I was just kidding, I didn’t mean to-“
“It’s fine, whatever.” We continued to walk in silence for a moment, and I felt really bad for upsetting him. I always seemed to do that.
“Uh..it smells good here..do you want food?” I asked him cautiously, hoping he wouldn’t blow up on me.
“I really can’t eat anything right now, I still feel like I’m about to puke.” He shook his head while clutching his stomach.
I just sighed and kept walking aimlessly with him, trying to think of a better way to apologize. I glanced at his pained face, and then looked around me. I stopped walking when my eyes landed on a giant teddy bear. Alex stopped walking too, and turned to give me a look of confusion.
“What are you looking at??” He frowned.
I followed the sight, and ended up standing in front of one those stupid, rigged games.
“Jack..what are you doing?” Alex followed me, still struck with confusion.
“I’m playing this.” I said simply, handing the worker a ten dollar bill.
That should give me enough tries for me to win that stuffed bear for Alex.
I began to play the stupid skee ball-type game, and failed on my first three tries.
“Looks like you’re three dollars short, sir!” The man chuckled, obviously believing he was going to own my full ten bucks soon.
I rolled my eyes and tried again. It still didn’t make the bullseye.
“Jack..what are you doing??” Lex asked yet another time, confused as to why I was wasting all my money on this stupid game. I threw the ball again, and still missed it.
Dammit!
“That’s five!” The man chuckled again.
Come on, Jack. You gotta do this for Alex. You got this.
I huffed and aimed the ball before tossing it directly into the center.
“YESSS!!” I cheered in victory.
The man just looked at me in shock.
“I want that teddy bear please!” I grinned at pointed to my well earned prize.
He nodded and gave me my change back before handing the bear to me. I turned to Alex and handed it to him.
“W-what??” He was a mixture of shocked and puzzled.
“Here. It’s yours.” I smiled, holding it out closer to him.
He instantly started blushing as he took the bear from me.
“Y-you didn’t have to..”
“I wanted to. I had to cheer you up somehow, cutie.” I chuckled, secretly hoping that he forgave me.
He flung his arms around my neck and pulled me in for a hug. I wrapped my arms around him a returned it. If there’s one thing I could never ever give up, it’s Lex’s hugs.
I was already missing his lips to death.
But that’s never gonna happen again.
He eventually pulled away from the embrace with a smile on his face.
“Thank you, Jack.”
“Welcome, cutie.”
We eventually bought food and took some selfies, then stayed there long enough to watch the fireworks. Not that I was actually paying attention to them, though. I was too busy studying the way Lex smiled and watched the sky so mesmerized…it was like he was in a trance; the colors reflected in his eyes and I swear it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I can’t even count how many times tonight that I had to remind myself that we were just friends.
Especially when I dropped him off and walked with him to his doorstep like in the movies. And just like in the movies, he leaned up on his toes and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for tonight, Jack. I had fun.”
“I’m glad, so did I. So uh..see you around later?”
“See ya, Jack.” And with that, I walked back to my car, still feeling the tingles on my cheek from where his lips had been.
Just friends, dammit.
Just friends.

Notes

HEY! GUESS WHO'S BACK?!
Oh my goshhh I've never gone this long without updating before!
BUT I CAN EXPLAIN.

So much as happened since I last updated:
I met All Time Low and they signed my poster and we touched and it was great. (I’ll tell you all about it if you ask xD)
I saw them live that night, along with State Champs, Tonight Alive, and Issues. (It was fucking great btw)
Alex followed me on Twitter. No, I’m serious! Alex fucking Gaskarth followed me on Twitter!! I was so confused bc I was the only fan he followed and it was just like WOW. But I soon came to the conclusion that he probably followed me on accident when he was reading his mentions or something. I mean, he unfollowed me the next day so yeah. (it hurt so much) I didn’t even DM him bc I’m a wimp but I really should have..anyways, FUCK YOU ALEX YA DICK!

Also, what took me so long to update was because I was writing this oneshot for my friend:
http://www.alltimelowfanfiction.com/Story/73256/Runaways/

Thanks! :)

Title cred: Cemetery Drive- My Chemical Romance

Also my computer kept crashing and decided to destroy all my editing so I just now went back to fix it from my phone. If you attempted to read this before then..bless your heart. cx