Shameless
Prologue
This isn't something I like to talk about.
But I can't help that I think about it all the time.
I've come to hate the thought of him.
It makes me sad. It makes me angry. It makes me feel regret. Which only confuses me because deep down, I know that I truly never regretted anything at all.
I don't regret truly falling in love for the first time. There were other times when I claimed that I was in love, but until I looked into those big brown eyes, and saw that magical smile of his, I realized that I was never ever in love until right at that moment.
I don't regret giving myself to him. Letting him hold my heart in his hands, letting him take control over my mind, or letting him have his way with my body. I let him. Because I trusted him.
Even when he gave me every reason not to, I did.
Every little lie that came out of his mouth, I believed. Because the little things that he'd say to make me smile, outweighed it all.
Don't say I was stupid. I know I was stupid.
Stupid to trust him. Stupid to confide in him. Stupid to give him everything.
I was stupid. But I loved him. And I guess being in love makes you stupid nowadays, huh?
He was truly my sunshine. My moon that kept glowing through the darkness. My beacon that shined its light so I always found my way back home.
My way back to him. He was my home. Home was right there in his arms.
I loved him. I loved him more than anything in the world.
I still do.
And that's why I hate to think about him.
Because I am so deeply in love with the thought of the man who broke my heart.
Jack Barakat was the love of my life.
I wish that I could go back in time and make things right.
I wish that we could go back and fix what is broken.
It's hopeless, but I will always be willing to try.
Always.
I can't seem to block out my thoughts tonight, so I guess I'll just take a trip down memory lane.
Every story has a beginning right?
Well here's ours.
This is our beginning.
The story of how I met Jack Barakat.
The asshole who stole my heart.
But I can't help that I think about it all the time.
I've come to hate the thought of him.
It makes me sad. It makes me angry. It makes me feel regret. Which only confuses me because deep down, I know that I truly never regretted anything at all.
I don't regret truly falling in love for the first time. There were other times when I claimed that I was in love, but until I looked into those big brown eyes, and saw that magical smile of his, I realized that I was never ever in love until right at that moment.
I don't regret giving myself to him. Letting him hold my heart in his hands, letting him take control over my mind, or letting him have his way with my body. I let him. Because I trusted him.
Even when he gave me every reason not to, I did.
Every little lie that came out of his mouth, I believed. Because the little things that he'd say to make me smile, outweighed it all.
Don't say I was stupid. I know I was stupid.
Stupid to trust him. Stupid to confide in him. Stupid to give him everything.
I was stupid. But I loved him. And I guess being in love makes you stupid nowadays, huh?
He was truly my sunshine. My moon that kept glowing through the darkness. My beacon that shined its light so I always found my way back home.
My way back to him. He was my home. Home was right there in his arms.
I loved him. I loved him more than anything in the world.
I still do.
And that's why I hate to think about him.
Because I am so deeply in love with the thought of the man who broke my heart.
Jack Barakat was the love of my life.
I wish that I could go back in time and make things right.
I wish that we could go back and fix what is broken.
It's hopeless, but I will always be willing to try.
Always.
I can't seem to block out my thoughts tonight, so I guess I'll just take a trip down memory lane.
Every story has a beginning right?
Well here's ours.
This is our beginning.
The story of how I met Jack Barakat.
The asshole who stole my heart.
Notes
Hey, friends.
This is my very first Jalex.
I was gonna wait and pre-write some more chapters, but I got too excited, and yeah.
Enjoy!!
Thanks! :)
This was great booboo
8/3/16