10th June 2009
‘Hey, this is Alex! I-uh, I’m probably really busy right now, call me back later or leave a messa-’
I hung up, shook my head and threw my cell back into my pocket. I tied the apron around my thin waist and began the last hour of my shift.
It only took fifteen minutes into my shift and I was ready to punch somebody in the nuts.
I almost smashed around five plates I was so angry. ‘I’m probably really busy right now?’ What does that even mean? Too busy for your fucking ‘best friend’. I shouldn’t care if he doesn’t want to talk, right? I mean, I did walk away, but I didn’t want to cause a scene. Fuck, I’m such an idiot? I’m so fucking confused, man.
“Hey Jack, you don’t look so good.” Chris, my co-worker, laughed as he leaned across the bar. “What’s wrong, man?” I threw my apron onto the bar and shook my head. “Jack, man, c’mon, what’s wron-?”
“I quit.” I spat. “I quit at everything, everything is so fucking messed up, Chris!” I choked out. “I may as well just give up on everything.”
“D-dude, calm down?” He ran around the bar and grabbed my shoulder, trying to pull me back.
“No- Chris, I-I can’t do this.” I shouted as I pushed his hands off me. “I... I need to go somewhere...”
I ran out of the restaurant with my jacket and phone. I quickly ran across the damp floor towards my car and threw myself in.
“Jack Bassam Barakat, you’re the biggest fuck up going.” I stared back at my reflection in my rear-view mirror and sighed.
That’s when I decided I can’t lose him. My best friend. I won’t let this happen again.
I reversed out from my parking slot and headed to his house. It was around half ten but his mom’s hot and she’s nice so she doesn’t mind. I was still in my work clothes but I couldn’t care any less.
The rain started spitting across the windscreen as I drove down to his house.
When I arrived the rain was already pelting down onto my windscreen. I ran out to his front door, the rain already soaked my thin shirt; my flesh was already visible through it.
Three knocks. Another three louder knocks. Another wasted minute. Another knock-
“Fuck ‘Lex, open the goddamn door?!” I screamed and buried my head in my hands. I stepped back as a crash of thunder filled the silence. “Alex?!” I slammed my hand louder on the door but... nothing. “Alex, stop being a fucking stubborn dick and open this door?!” I shouted through the letter-box. “Fine. Whatever!” I shouted through again, kicked the door and walked away.
I see how it is then, not answering my calls, no texts, ignoring me when I come round to your house, all those death stares at school. Fine. I get it.
I slammed my car door shut, my clothes drenched and droplets from my hair rolled down my cheeks as I quickly rushed home.
Fuck him. I don’t need him.
Walking from my car to my bedroom was a blur, the tears were to blame, the only thing I can remember clearly is falling into my quilt... and that’s when I broke down.
I lay in my damp clothes for over an hour and a half. The cold water soaked into my skin, numbing my senses. I don’t know what was happening to me. I’ve always felt like there was something missing, but this is something different, something massive... and I don’t like it.
I slid my jeans of my slim thighs and changed into some sweats. I removed my shirt and threw it to the corner of the room. I sunk back onto my small bed and wiped my wet hair from my face and wiped the tears.
I pulled the quilt around my waist and around my shoulders and watched the rain spot on my condensed window.
The blue moonlight shone onto my face for the majority of the night.
Eventually sending me into a lovely, restless sleep.