I’m not sure how long I stood there, soaking in what had just happened. I think it was about five or ten minutes when a girl walked into the kitchen timidly.

“E-excuse me?” She almost whispered.

I looked at her blankly. Then I realized that she was the servant I’d walked in on making my bed on my first day belonging to Jack. She was a natural redhead with curly, crazy hair. I realized that my pants were still down but to be honest I was too drained to be embarrassed so I just numbly pulled them up.

“I know he’s rough.” She murmured.
“He didn’t used to be.” I replied.
“He always is.” She whispered, looking down.
“What do you mean?” I asked.

She leaned against the counter and bit her lip.

“That’s just what he does. He buys you, makes you feel special and like you’re the only one who can change him, then he breaks you.”
“What?”
“He does that sometimes when he buys a new slave, his old slave Patrick was killed before Master got the chance to break him.” She said, playing with the hem of her apron.
“He did it to you?” I asked.

With tears in her eyes, she nodded. I was filled with rage. I barely knew this girl yet I felt so protective over her. She reminded me of Grace. I blinked away the tears that threatened to spill over. I missed Grace so much.

“If he ever hurts you again, you come tell me.” I said.
“But he’ll-“
“I don’t fucking care what he’ll do. If he hurts you, tell me. Trust me, I can withstand more than you’d think.”

She looked like she was going to say no, but then she nodded slightly.

“Okay, I will. Now drink some hot chocolate. It’ll make you feel better.” She smiled.

I found my lips twitching up and I nodded. I watched her make it on the stove and serve it to me with marshmallows and whipped cream. After bring me that, she left and came back with a washcloth and wiped off all the blood.

It felt good to have someone take care of me.

She sat with me, drinking her own cup, and we talked while we drank. Her name was Eliza and she told me about how she and her parents had been rouges, living by themselves in the woods having escaped captivity. They had managed to remain that way until she was ten, hunters found them and shot her parents dead for trying to protect her as the hunters raped her several times before selling her to a man who made her work in a bakery. There, she made friends with an old lady by the name of Tabitha and she helped her get over what had happened with he hunters. Tabitha died peacefully in her sleep, which is a lot more than how most slaves die, and Eliza’s master sold her to Jack shortly after.

“What about you?” She asked, “What’s your story?”
“Well I was born in a camp and my parents were shipped off away from me and each other when I was four. A girl named Grace took me in, she was about my age now and she looked after me. She was like a big sister and she was the only person in the world who cared about me. Then when I turned fifteen, I was shipped off to basic training just like everybody else, and stayed there three months longer than normal because I was a stubborn little shit,” She giggled and I found myself doing the same, “Then I was brought back to the camp only somewhat trained and worked as three.” I swallowed before I told her the next part of the story, “Then Grace was kill-ed” My voice broke. I swallowed again but my voice still sounded a little choked up “Then, since they were over capacity, I was sold in the market to Jack.”
“Tell me about her.” She murmured softly, rubbing my arm.

She seemed a lot more comfortable now and I was glad. I didn’t want her to be frightened of me.

“You’ve never lived in a camp so you can’t understand how alone you feel. Every second of every day, you always have to look over your shoulder and worry about someone trying to attack you or kill you for your clothes or anything else you might have. A child has no chance of surviving on their own. You’d think that people would band together and help each other out, especially a kid, but they don’t. It’s not really their fault though because if you’re treated like an animal long enough, you become one. I don’t know why she was different, maybe her parents weren’t killed and they taught her to be kind I don’t know. But she took me in and protected me and loved me. If I messed up, or did something wrong and the guards wanted to punish me, she’d take it in my place. In a camp, that amount of love is inconceivable. She completely accepted my homosexuality, she was shy and soft spoken, but unbelievably brave.” I smiled at the memories of her.
“How’d she die?” Jack’s voice appeared.

My head shot up at him. I was filled with rage and sadness but I resisted the urge to run away because I didn’t dare leave Eliza alone. I felt her stiffen beside me but I placed my hand on her arm to comfort her. I looked up at him and felt my vision blur with tears. I took a breath so I wouldn’t start sobbing. Even though it had been three years, it still felt like it had happened yesterday.

“Sh-she um.” I swallowed again, trying to rid myself of the lump in my throat, “She was sick. Really, really sick. Illness means death in a camp but I didn’t leave her side even though I could’ve caught whatever she had. Anyway, she needed to eat to keep her strength up. The daily rations were barely enough to keep a healthy person alive, never mind someone who needed extra nourishment. I had been giving her my rations but it wasn’t enough so I snuck into the kitchen one night to steal some food. Well I got caught. They had gathered everyone into the compound and were planning on beating me to death with clubs. But she managed to stumble out of our quarters and crawl over to us.” I took a moment to let out a sad laugh, “She always was very determined. Anyway, she begged them to kill her instead. She told them that she was already dying and that her death would teach me a lesson. Also, I was still of use while she was bed ridden and the compound would benefit more if it was she who died…I told them not to…I begged her to stop…But they took her instead. Thank god she was sick, because if she hadn’t been, they would’ve raped her and they wanted to keep their vessels healthy. Anyway…They decided not to beat her to death,” I struggled to remain calm, “instead they crucified her.” I whispered as a fresh wave of tears streamed down my face, “They thought it would be ironic since she was Christian. She…hung on that cross with nails in her wrists and feet for ten hours before she finally died.” I watched as my tears dropped onto the wooden table creating small pools.
“Eliza, would you give us a moment?” Jack asked in a surprisingly soft voice.

She seemed shocked too but she knew better than to let that delay her as Jack sat at the table in front of me.

“What do you want?” I spat.
“Careful, Lex. That attitude got you into trouble in the first place.”
“If it’s annoying you then it’s worth it.” I shot back, looking up at him but his figure was distorted by the tears.

Jack’s eyes darkened for a moment but he blinked and regained control.

“So are you going to do it to me too?”
“Do what?”
“Oh that thing where you get us whipped then drop us like we’re nothing. I heard about how Patrick was killed before you could finish with him, pity.” I spat.
“Lex, he- he was different.” Jack murmured.

I snorted in disbelief.

“I’m sure.” I deadpanned.
“I’m serious. He was different. So are you.”
“Don’t you dare try to tell me that. Not after today. I’m not different.” I hissed.
“You are!” He exclaimed.
“Oh yeah, you know what? You’re right. I am different. I’m an angel. Is that the only reason I’m not dead?” I asked.
“No, Lex-“
“Don’t even fucking start. I see the way you look at me with that sick sense of pride. I’m only alive because I’m an angel and that’s rare. I’m rare.”
“Do not put words into my mouth.” He snarled.

I gritted my teeth and scowled at his dark brown eyes which I hated so much, no matter how beautiful they were.

“I’ll admit, I used to do that. And when I met Patrick I was planning on doing the exact same thing to him, but then I got to know him and I truly cared about him. When he was taken from me, do not think I didn’t do everything in my power to get him back. I searched night and day for him and when I discovered his dead, mangled corpse, through my grief, the only thing I could think of was how could I have planned to hurt someone as perfect as him? Alex, when I bought you, I planned to do the same thing to you. I guess I thought that if I continued with you, it would be like getting revenge on the universe.”

I rolled my eyes.

“But…I couldn’t-“
“Newsflash, Jack. You already did.”
“Rape is nothing compared to the things I could make you do.” He snarled.

I looked down at my mug. I’d drunk all of the liquid so there was just a ring of the chocolate milk at the bottom of the mug.
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

He looked down at his hands.

---

Why was I telling him this?

Jack what’s wrong with you? Get it to-fucking-gether.

Honestly, I knew exactly why I was revealing this to him.

I didn’t want him to think of me as a monster.

I didn’t want him to think of me as what I was.

“Well?” His voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Does it matter?” I asked.
“Yeah, It kinda does.” He replied with a snarky attitude.

I scoffed and stood up, him following me.

“Pack a suitcase we’re going to LA tomorrow morning.” I deadpanned.
“Don’t change the subject. Why did you tell me?” He persisted making me clench my fists.
“No reason I just-“
“Tell me!” He interrupted.
“I DON’T KNOW!” I screamed, having finally snapped. “I just… I didn’t want you to think that I’d do that to you.” I mumbled.

Alex’s expression didn’t change. It stayed cold and hard.

“Too late. I already do and know this, Jack. I will never trust you.” He spat.

I was used to people not trusting me, it was all I’ve ever known. So why did him telling me this not rest easy with me? Why did I have a problem with it?

“Good. You don’t want to.” I snarled, taking a step forward.

I was amused to see him take a step back.

“It’s a business meeting, but we’re going dinner after.” I explained coldly.
“What do I wear?” He glared.
“Preferably nothing.” I replied, licking my lips. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Just your usual will be fine.”
“Fine.” He mumbled, walking into his room.

Notes

Title cred: Angels by Mayday Parade

bruh get prepared cause stuff happens on this trip

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