The Promise

Jack's p.o.v.

I couldn't bare the silence surrounded by us. I couldn't bare being in this small cafe. Even though me and Alex were the only ones here, I felt over crowded and claustrophobic. That was probably because the atmosphere was thick with silence, and probably the workers at this cafe felt the awkward silence, too.

I couldn't sit there any longer.

So I thanked Alex for the coffee and walked away, only for him to grab my arm when I reached the entrance of the small building.

I immediately shoved him off me, not wanting to be touched when I could barely breathe.

He said sorry, and while I was happy and grateful that he said it, a part of me was unwilling to forgive.

I think it'll take me a lot more than a sorry to forgive. I need more time.

I walked to my car, oblivious to the footsteps behind me. I should've known Alex was following me, but I didn't.

Not until he pushed me up against my car.

At first I thought someone was gonna rob me, but then I realised it was just Alex. Who happens to have all his body against mine, stopping me from moving.

"Don't leave me." He said, his hands clenched to my shirt, and I could sense the sad emotion running through him; I could tell he really meant it.

"I-I won't." I stuttered out, mainly because I Alex was pressed up against me, his face only centimeters from mine.

I felt his slightly heavy breathing on my neck, I could hear it perfectly.

What I didn't expect was for him to pull his head into the crook of my neck and release his tight grip on my shirt to my waist, pulling me forward and hugged me.

The breath on my neck was replaced with a wet substance I recall tears, and my arms quickly wrapped around him.

Alex started sobbing in my arms, and I could feel my heart break. Apparently it's not only me that got hurt when I was sent away. He clearly missed me.

"Shh, Alex, it's okay." I rubbed his back in a caring way, trying my best to calm the sobbing boy in my arms. He clenched the back of my shirt in his fists, more tears dripping down onto my neck and shirt.

"I'm such a terrible person. I'm a piece of shit. Horrible." He said, angrily, obviously angry at himself.

"No you're not. Calm down." I said gently, cooing him.

Sure, what he had done was a pretty bad thing, still, I was gonna end up in care a week later, anyway. What he did was a mistake. A bad mistake. But we all mistakes, as they say, and everyone learns from them. Making a mistake isn't a bad thing, because you soon realise after what you did, it was wrong, and you learn not to do it again.

"Come on, get in the car. I'm letting you go in this state." I mumbled, using all my strength to pull him off me, yet I did it gently. I unlocked the car and got Alex inside, quickly walking over to the drivers seat.

~~~

Alex was staring out the window the whole time to my house, sniffing every now and then, his mouth sealed shut. I wanted to cuddle him right then, but I couldn't because I was driving. Plus, I don't know if I wanna forgive him yet. I know I will end up forgiving him, just not yet.

Even though he has been my lover, my best friend, I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to cry every night, begging to go home like I did. Begging for me like I begged and pleaded for him.

That was quite a horrible thing for someone to want.

~~~

We got to my house, and I went straight to the kitchen.

"Do you want anything to eat, Alex?" I called to the quiet man standing between the living room and kitchen. He looked at me.

"No, thank you." He said quietly, then fixing his gaze back on the floor.

Fine then.

I made a sandwich and walked over to the sofa, gesturing Alex to follow me. We sat down on the comfy material and I turned the TV on.

Yet again we were in silence. Even if the TV was playing, it was silent. I've had quite enough of silence now.

"Talk." I muttered to Alex after finishing my ham sandwich. He turned to me in surprise, for whatever reason, I don't know. He seemed to be trying to find words.

"I, um." It was obvious he didn't know what to say, and it bugged me a bit. We had a lot to talk about, and he knows that. He even asked me to get a coffee with him and talk about it.

"I'm sorr-"

"No." I cut him off.

"Jack, please." He whined, his voice desperate, getting frustrated.

"Why should I accept that apology? Give me one good reason." I was starting to get annoyed. He should've know I'm not ready to forgive yet. We've only just started talking again. He should've know.

"Because I'm telling the truth! What I did was stupid, and I admit that. I'm apologizing for my mistakes. What else do I need to fucking do, Jack?!" He yelled, too loud for my liking.

What right did he have to start yelling in my face? Who gave him that right?

"I want you out my house." I wasn't ready. I wasn't prepared to forgive. I need space and time away from him, even though I've had years of time away from him.

"W-What? Why?" He stuttered, pain flashed all over his face.

"Because I need sometime to think." I answered honestly and calmly, not wanting to raise my voice at the man next to me. He opened and closed his mouth before huffing and storming out my house.

I just need time, that's all.

Notes

toime

Yes, my icon is a little Christmassy aye.

get out moi house, punk.

Thanks for reading, you sweaty cat balls

ewww