Aiden and Charlotte squealed with delight as I set a stack of tiny Micky Mouse shaped pancakes down in front of them. I took a seat next to Charlotte and helped her cut hers into bite size pieces as my phone wildly buzzed on the counter. I had been ignoring its continuous noise in favor of spending time with my niece and nephew, but I seemed unusually popular this morning.

I finally snatched the phone up to see countless texts and emails from friends at my former record label. Confused and alarmed, I opened the first text to see a link to an interview with John. I scrolled down, shocked by pictures of us in New York plastered through out the article.

My mom swung the back door open, pulling me away from daze.

“Hey, can you watch them for a second?”

“Sure sweetie,” she watched curiously as I stormed off.

I bound across the street, intercepting John’s path with his lawnmower. He abruptly shut it off, perplexed by my demeanor, “What’s wrong?”

“You can’t talk about me in interviews.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not together!”

He began to start the lawnmower back up, “Ok Annabelle, whatever.”

“I’m serious, John,” I stopped his hand, “I have no idea what I’m doing. You can’t put a label on this to the press.”

“Always the publicist.”

“You’re not being fair.”

“You know, when you left after the accident I thought I would never have you in my life again... But then you came back and I hoped so, so badly that this would happen. And then it did... But you’re leaving again, aren’t you?”

“I don’t now what I’m doing, John... But I can’t do this to Jack. Not yet.”

He dropped his hands and looked down in contemplation, “I’m getting a little worn out, Annabelle...”

“Wasn’t it you that told me to take my time? Figure out what I wanted?”

“Yeah, well, time is running out,” he started the lawnmower.

By that afternoon, the sky had turned dark. I hurried to get the kids home before the rained started, knowing that Texas storms weren’t something to be taken lightly. I had barely gotten them in the door when the sky opened up.

“Do you want to wait it out here?” my sister yelled over the downpour

“No it’s fine, I got to get back,” I hugged her and ran back to my car.

Half way home I noticed a car pulled over on the should ahead of me. As I passed, I glanced over to see the driver crouching below the hood. Realizing it was Jack, I quickly turned the car around and pulled up behind him.

I attempted to shield myself from the rain as I ran up next to him, but knew it was no use and dropped my hands, “Jack?”

“What are you doing out here?” He whipped around, astonished to see me.

“Can I help you with something?”

He threw his hands up, “I don’t know shit about cars.”

“Can I give you a ride?”

“Thanks, but I called someone to tow it. They should be here in a little while.”

“At least let me wait with you.”

He pondered it, “Yeah, okay,” and we both ran back to my car.

He laid back, soaking wet, “I forgot what rain like this is like. Been in LA too long.” We both laughed. “Thanks for waiting it out we me.”

“For sure. I think I have some, uh, napkins in there if you want them...” I gestured to the glove compartment.

“Thanks, but I don’t think that’s going to help,” we laughed as he shook water off of himself.

I smiled to myself, remembering how much fun I used to have with Jack before everything got so complicated. He made me a lighter person and showed me that not everything had to be so serious. Being with Jack grounded me, yet kept me afloat.

He noticed my silence, “What?”

I shook myself from my daze and tepidly smiled, “Nothing, just thinking.”

He pushed my hair behind my ear, letting his fingers linger on my face. I turned into his hand, resting my face in his palm. “I miss you, Annabelle.”

I cautiously nodded, “Yeah... Me too.”

Jack slowly brought his lips to mine, wrapping his arms around my neck to pull me closer. Feeling Jack’s lips against mine was so familiar, yet erotic. Like coming home to a blazing fire.

I threw my leg over his lap, straddling him in the passenger seat. His hands wondered up and down my back, eventually pulling my shirt over my head. I feverishly pulled his shirt off, letting our hot, wet skin press against each other’s. He helped me wiggle out of my jeans as I went to work on his belt. Once both of our pants were dismissed to the backseat, Jack took my face in his hands once again, letting his thumb graze across my lips. Unable to stand the growing tension, I nuzzled my mouth into his neck. Jack let out a slight moan as I gyrated my hips into his barely covered lap. He entered me with delicate force while bringing our faces together. We held eye contact, savoring every moment of our rhythmically thrusting bodies. Months of fighting and distance, finally leading up to this moment. It was the most present I’d been in a moment in a long time.

A tear fell on my cheek, causing Jack to stop, “Hey, are you okay? We don’t have to do this...”

“No, no, I’m fine,” I smiled, “I want to.”

Jack flipped me over on the seat, his body heavy over mine. He delicately placed his mouth on mine, my neck, my collarbone, my chest, and back up, sliding his way into me. The windows fogged more and more with each gasp we let out, building until we had nothing left.

He left himself rest on my chest as I ran my fingers through his hair. We were quiet for several moments, basking in the intimacy we had finally allowed ourselves. Jack tightened his grasp around me. I giggled, “What are you doing?”

“I’m afraid if I let go, you’ll slip away again,” he answered solemnly.

“Hey,” I brought his face to mine, “I’m not going anywhere.”

He nodded vaguely and laid his head back on my chest.

That night I sat on the roof outside of my bedroom window where I had sat with John mere weeks before and wondered if I was any closer to the answers I had come home to find. Part of me was almost positive that I had only made myself more confused. Both of my great loves had come back into my life, yet I feared that my good fortune may be brief. Their patience was wearing thin.

How was I going to chose between two people I had barely learned to live without, when I had barely lived through that decision the first time. I thought of Jack and I thought of Finn and all we had been through during our, what was now, lengthy romance. I then considered John and our fiery uncomplicated chemistry. Perhaps it was time to rewrite what our teenage accident had cut short.

As the possibilities swirled in my mind, dizzying me, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. The screen lit up with a text from John: “Can’t sleep?”

I looked up as he waved at me from his window. I texted back: “Not really.”

John: “Can I come over?”

I nodded and he disappeared from sight.

Moments later he climbed out onto the roof and took a seat next to me, “I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier.” I turned, slightly shocked, as he chose his words carefully. “I know you’re still coping... And it wasn’t right for me to put that kind of pressure on you. I just... I want to be with you so badly, Annie. Please don’t be angry with me.”

“I’m not angry... You have the right to want answers. I’m just... Not sure that I have them.”

John placed his hand over mine, “I’m willing to wait.”

I half heartedly smiled as he placed a kiss on my cheek, followed by one on the lips, my neck, chest, and slowly the memories from earlier that day came rushing back. I scooted away from John, knowing where this would lead. He stopped, “What’s the matter?”

“We’re kind of in plain view right now... You know...” On any other day, that wouldn't have likely stopped me, but the idea of making love to Jack and then going at it again with John hours later made my stomach turn.

“Oh... Well, we can go inside...”

“Maybe we should just call it a night.

He nodded, taken aback, “Ok, then... See you tomorrow?”

“Sure.” He kissed me on the cheek and disappeared back inside.

I let out a groan of frustration and flopped back on the roof. Giving half of my heart to each of them wasn’t going to work for long.

Notes