Jack attempted to wave away the sharp smell of burning gasoline pouring out of the garage door. His eyes burned as he pushed his way inside through the billowing smoke spewing from his car’s tailpipe. His worst fears were confirmed as he saw her red hair sprawled out through the back window of the running car. He sprinted, flinging the door open and ripping her out as quickly as he could, but her head hung limply as Jack collapsed into the cushy grass, letting her slide from his arms. His hands frantically pumped at her chest...

1 WEEK LATER

The overbearing Texas sun shone down through my father’s car window. He silently drove as I contemplated the long ride from the Austin airport to our small town of Grayson. The Hill Country's vast curves and horizons were a drastic change from the cramped skylines of Los Angeles, but perhaps a change I desperately needed. The roadside wildflowers whipped past in a blur of colors as I tried to decipher one stem from the next. Slowly they tapered away as we approached our exit.

We rolled past my old high school, the dirt road that led to the field where we used to get drunk, and then past the diner where we used to sober up. Maybe somewhere far past the callouses Los Angeles had so mercilessly laid upon me I was still the simple girl with stars in her eyes and endless hope, but that light burned dim if it burned at all.

The truck came to a creaky halt in front of my childhood home. The bags were barely out of the back before my mom, sister, nice, and nephew came pouring out into the driveway. They smothered me with hugs and kisses - the southern way. I accepted their affection with the most genuine smile I could muster.

That night at dinner my mom made her family favorite pot roast and served me a more than generous helping. I watched everyone intently as they avoided eye contact with me. I had never meant to bring this burden upon them, yet here we all sat, enjoying the stewy beef and dancing around the elephant in the room.

“You like it?” My mom half hartedly smiled at me.

I nodded, “It’s great.”

I shove my mashed potatoes around on my plate, noticing them taking the shape of a smiley face. I went with it, finishing the smile with two carrot eyes. Aiden, my nephew, giggled. I winked at him before erasing the image and taking a big bite.

I enter my childhood room, dragging my luggage in behind me. For a second I could have sworn I smelled his cologne but as soon as it struck me, it was gone. The last time I had laid on that bed I was not alone, but I was now as I flung my body onto the springy twin sized. Just as the memories of the last ten years began to crawl upon me...

“Have everything you need?”

I bolted up at the unexpected voice to be met with my father’s caring gaze. “Yeah, I’m good,” I smiled at him.

“Goodnight sweetheart,” he closed the door behind him.

I flopped back, locking eyes with the stars on my ceiling that I had long forgotten about.

I woke the next morning to the loud buzzing of a lawn mower. I glanced at the clock before spinning around to the window behind me. As if he had a sixth sense, John O’Callaghan glanced back up at me just as I quickly ducked below his eye line. After waiting a safe period of time, I raised my eyes just enough to see him over my pillow. After all these years he was still here mowing the same lawn, wearing the same rolled up bandanna, and the same old torn up nirvana shirt.

I fell back onto my pillow and retrieved my phone from the bedside table. Ten missed calls from Jack. I erased them and locked my phone revealing a photo of our little family: Jack, myself and Bean, our pug, crammed on our couch. I threw the phone across the bed and rolled myself back into the sheets just as my door flew open. Aiden and his younger sister Charlotte launched themselves onto my bed assuring I was awake for whatever game they were frantically explaining the rules to.

“I’m so sorry,” Lucy, my sister, swiftly entered and lifted Charlotte.

“It’s okay,” I smiled.

Lucy took Aiden by the hand, but he remained still, studying me from the foot of the bed. “Are you sick Aunt Annabelle?”

I started to shake my head, as Lucy pulled him from the bed, “Let’s go Aiden.” They made their way out, “Sorry, Annie.”

I stared at the back of the door knowing I would never be able to go back to sleep now with the harsh light of day illuminating all the promises I had broken to myself. I tossed my covers off and padded my way over to my vanity. I tore down the photos taped to the mirror, hid the frames, and rolled up the posters. My room felt bare and empty, but I shoved it all into the garbage bag anyway.

I stormed past my mother and father at the kitchen table, past my sister and her kids in the backyard, and flung the lid to the trashcan open, tossing my memories away. Lucy watched in disbelief as I made my way back inside... Only to realize that my parents hadn’t been alone.

Mrs. O’Callaghan smiled at me over her cup of coffee, “Hi, Annabelle”.

I stood stunned for a moment before responding, “Hi, Mrs. O’Callaghan”.

“Jenny came by to see how you’re doing,” my mother filled the silence.

I slowly started to nod, “I’m working on it.”

Mrs. O’Callaghan sweetly smiled, “I’d love for you and your parents to come by for dinner sometime.”

“Sure... Thanks for coming by.” I made a swift exit.

I collapsed onto my bed, closing my eyes and letting the world fade away... Until I felt my phone vibrate next to my hand. My eyes snapped open, lifting my phone to see it was Jack calling yet again. I loudly grunted in frustration, sending my phone sailing across the room. I eyed the stars on my ceiling, tears beginning to well in my eyes. I hopped up onto my bed, my arm falling much too short of reaching them. I began to jump in hopes of reaching them... Higher and higher... Until my foot twisted beneath me, sending me sailing to the ground, hitting my head on my bedside table in the process.

Just as I was starting to lose it, my door creaked open, “Annabelle?”

I whipped my head around to be met with the piercing stare of John O’Callaghan.

John hesitantly made his way over to me, offering his hand.

I glanced at his hand, and then up at him, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to get my mom and then I heard the crash.”

I gathered myself and stood up without his help. “I’m okay.”

He slowly nodded, “Okay... Good.” We held eye contact. “I’ll see you around.” I watched him go.

Notes