I look deep into Alex’s brown, puppy eyes as he hovers above me. As I run my fingers down his chest, he slides his hands down my body. Alex and I begin kissing hungrily and quickly. I feel as if we haven’t kissed in months. I lace my fingers through his hair and pull him closer to my lips. All of a sudden, I taste whiskey. I open my eyes and find myself kissing the one and only, Jack Barakat.

My eyes fly open and I sit up quickly. I look around and see that I have been sleeping in Alex’s bunk. I quickly rummage through my memory trying to figure out how I got here. I realize that I am the only one on the bus because they all went out after the concert. I decided to stay home tonight, too exhausted to do anything but sleep. My stomach rumbles and I decide to grab some food out of one of the cabinets.

As I climb out of the bunk, I realize I’m in my plaid pajama pants and pink sports bra. I shuffle my way to where the guys keep all their foods. I grab myself a bag of Cheetos and a Kit Kat, and head back over to my/Alex’s bunk. I set the food down, grab my laptop, and que up LA Ink on Netflix.

I munch on the food and watch as Kat tattoos people with beautiful ink. As I watch this show, I realize that I want a tattoo. I have always wanted one, but never really knew what I wanted. I should really start thinking about what I want. All of a sudden, I hear the curtain to the bunks swing open. I poke my head out and see Jack stumbling in.

“Someone looks sober.” I snicker sarcastically.

“Fuck you Diana.” He mumbles and sticks his tongue out.

I giggle and return to watching Netflix. A few minutes later, Jack throws himself into my bunk.

“What the hell Jack?” I groan and scoot over. “Where are the rest of the guys?”

“The sent me home because I’m ‘too drunk’” He rolls his eyes slowly. “Th-they just don’t know how to have FUN. Nice outfit by the way. I likey boobs.” Jack hiccups and winks sarcastically.

“Alright drunky-pants.” I tease him in a baby voice.

“What are we watching?” He slurs, ignoring me.

“LA Ink.”

He nods and settles in next to me, taking the Cheetos from me. I relax and watch with Jack and get lost in thought.

Two weeks have passed with Alex and everything seems to flow pretty smoothly. The guys rock each city as we fly through the US. There haven’t been many harsh words between Alex and I, but I’ve noticed Jack getting more fucked up then usual. He drinks pretty much all day. The guys brush it off for the most part, but I can’t seem to let it go. It’s hard to see him like this. Especially when I feel like this is partially my fault. I sigh involuntarily and Jack turns his face towards mine.

“What’s wrong cupcake?” He asks me frowning.

“Nothing.” I smile as best as I can. Of course, Jack doesn’t buy it.

He closes my laptop and turns towards me. “Talk.”

“Honestly Jack, I’m a little worried about you. You seem to be drinking a lot more and you seem a little more aggressive. I just…I care Jack. It’s starting to get to me. The guys tell me to brush it off but I can’t. You’re like my brother.” I whimper the last words. Tears threaten to spill over as I realize how much this is hurting me. These guys are all I have, and if any of them are doing anything to hurt themselves, it hurts me.

Jack’s face grows serious and compassionate as he pulls me into his arms. I sob into his chest while he rubs my back. I love all of the guys, Alex more than most obviously. When it comes to Jack, he has my heart in his hands just as much as Alex does. The love I have for them is different. Jack is my brother and will forever be. There is nothing he can do to change that.

I pull away from him and see sadness in his eyes. “Diana. I honestly have no idea where to even begin. When Jamie and I split, it hit me a lot harder than I let on. I really was crazy about her. I see you and Alex every damn day and I am so jealous. I loved being in a relationship and want to be in one again. If I glare at you guys, I’m sorry. It isn’t anything other than pure jealousy. I want what you guys have every day for the rest of my life. Drinking just numbs my feelings and hides it. I’m glad you are on this tour because there’s no way any of the guys would understand.” Jack finishes with his eyes closed tightly and tense.

I pull Jack close to me and let him rest his head on my shoulder. I feel like I’m holding a man with little boy’s feelings. I understand where he is coming from. I just have no idea how to help him.

“Jack I’m so sorry. I wish I knew how to help you. Why did you two even break up?” I ask as I stroke his hair.

“I didn’t want to bring her on tour. We made that mistake once and that girl was a pain in the rear. I didn’t want to make the same mistake by bringing her here. But I realize now that I have never regretted anything more in my entire life.” He sighs into my neck.

“Do you want me to call her?” I offer up. “I can explain everything to her and maybe we can fly her out here.”

Jack freezes and pulls back. “You would do that for me?”

“Jack. I love you. To see you suffering is making me anxious. Anything to get my Jack back.” I smile at him.

Jack leans in and kisses my forehead softly. “Thank you.”

“Any city you want her to meet us in?” I ask.

“LA. We will be there this weekend and have 2 or 3 off days. This way, she and I can catch up on our own in a hotel room.” Jack grins from ear to ear, clearly excited.

He gives me her number and snuggles me to his chest. I promise to call her in the morning since it’s a little late for that. We open the laptop back up and watch Netflix while relaxing.

“Do you mind if I explain this to Alex? He was worried that you are in love with me.” I laugh awkwardly.

Jack busts out laughing. “For sure. I do love you Diana. I just don’t love you like that.”

Just as he says that, we hear the bus door swing open. Immediately, I jump out of Jack’s embrace and he smiles understandingly at me.

Alex comes stumbling to the back and yanks back the curtains. He smiles drunkenly at Jack and I.

“Get out of my bunk bro.” He slurs and tugs on Jack lightly.

Jack grins and hops out. Alex takes his place and pulls me on top of him, clearly wanting to get his cuddle on. I happily join him and kiss him all over. He smiles and turns off our bunk light while snuggling us under the covers. He tickle-rubs my back as we drift off into a deep, comfortable sleep.

Notes

Sorry for the uber short chapter. I've been having some writers block and that wonderful thing known as depression. Thanks for the support everyone :)
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