There's A Ghost In This Room

The next morning was the same old same old. I got out of bed, showered, got dressed, straightened my hair, and walked out of the bathroom; bending down to pick up my bag from beside my bed.
“Morning.” I heard Alex’s voice from behind me, as I stood back up.
I didn't jump this time, I just rolled my eyes and moved to walk past him.
“Hey, wait.” He stopped me by grabbing me by the elbow.
“Oh fuck off, Alex.” I scoffed at him.
“Oh come on, what did I do?” He gave me a look of confusion, which only made me more mad.
“Seriously, Alex? Please don't just pretend like you don't remember what happened yesterday.”
“Okay, I'm sorry for going off on you. But you know how I get when you talk about that! Why would you even try it?” He looked at me with apologetic eyes.
I simply shrugged in response, while crossing my arms.
“Because it isn't fair.”
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.
“Because what isn't fair, Bethany?”
“It isn't fair that you never tell me anything about you! You're my best friend! I should know these things, Alex! I feel like I don't know you at all..” I sighed, giving him a defeated look.
“Look, you do know me. You known me since we were little kids! How do you not?” He argued.
“But I know nothing about your life.” I sighed and averted my eyes to the ground.
“What does my life even matter? I'm already dead. And it couldn't have been that interesting, after all, I did die when I was six..”
I rolled my eyes and looked back up.
“You know what I me-“ I stopped talking when I noticed that he was gone.
Urghh. He's gotta stop doing that.
I rolled my eyes and shrugged my bag onto my shoulder, before leaving the room and heading downstairs.
My mom leaves to work in the mornings every other day, so she wasn't here. I just took a chewy granola bar, and headed outside. I was low on gas, so I decided to just walk to school. It wasn't even that far a walk, anyway.
I plugged in my earphones, and listened to the MCR song blasting in my ears as I walked through the cool, autumn air.
I really like Fall. Sure it's sometimes really rainy and cold, and the East Coast weather sucks 95% of the time, but I actually think it's pretty cool. I like the whole vibe of the season, along with the holidays it has, of course. But I think my favorite thing about the Fall, is the leaves.
I'm sure you're expecting some sort of typical poetic line about how I wish I was a leaf, but metaphorically, I actually could be a leaf.
I was once content and safe, up high, where no one could touch me. But then everything changed tremendously, and I got weaker and weaker until I fell from my safe tower; subjecting myself to getting stepped on and broken, even more than I already am.
Leaves, how inspiring. I'll have to write that down, later.
I was getting closer to the school, and I continued walking, while focusing on the crushing of old leaves; underneath my feet.

School was as equally unbearable as it was yesterday. I anxiously sat in my last class of the day, mentally begging for time to speed up, so I could finally escape this dungeon and go home.
The other kids in the class just idly stared at the clock just as I was, while some quietly talked amongst themselves, as the teacher wrapped up their lesson.
I decided to turn my attention to the teacher, as she made some lame teacher joke. Then, I heard a giggle come from across the room. Everyone turned their attention to a skinny boy who had blonde streaks cascading through his bangs.
He chuckled at the teacher’s joke, before quickly silencing when he noticed all of the glaring eyes on him.
“What are you laughing at, you little bitch?” A muscular jock scowled at him. I believe his name was Zack. He was really cocky, and a total asshole.
“N-nothing.” The boy answered quickly, his voice almost a whisper as he began to shake with fear.
The other people in the room started trying to hide their laughter and snickers. Some didn't even try to hide it at all.
“That's what I thought, fucktard. Quit laughing at things that aren't funny.” Zack smirked after earning a few laughs from his other jock friends in the classroom.
I turned my attention back to the boy. His cheeks were bright red, and he was intensely staring down at his shaking hands. Man, I know how that feels.
I saw him try to discreetly wipe away tears that managed to escape from his eyes. But obviously not discreetly enough, because Zack noticed. And of course, being the dick that he was, he called him out on it in front of the whole class.
“Hey. Go cry somewhere else, you little bitch. Nobody cares.”
The boy’s shoulders slumped over at that, and he looked at Zack with sad, humiliated, and defeated eyes.
Luckily, he didn't have to suffer through the torturing embarrassment any longer, because the bell was going to ring in two minutes; and everyone started packing up their stuff.
I kept thinking about the boy. I have so much empathy for him. He seems like a really nice person, who definitely doesn't deserve to be treated like an outsider, just for laughing. I'm just glad that he can still smile. One day, all these bullies are gonna permanently wipe the smile off of his face. He'll just become sad and broken, almost completely incapable of being happy. I would know.
I wish that I could defend the boy. Or at least go up to him and comfort him and let him know that I've gone through what he's going through, and that he's not alone. I really just wish that I could befriend the boy, but I don't have the guts. I know that it would be impossible for me to just go up to someone and begin talking to them. It's probably the right thing to do, but I just can't do it. It kills me inside. It makes me feel horrible.
Suddenly, the bell rang, and I jolted out of my seat and out the door of the classroom.
I cautiously walked through the sea of equally eager teenagers, trying to focus on not accidentally stepping on the heels of the person in front of me.
Suddenly, my head got violently pushed forward as I was walking.
I turned around to glare at the person behind me, when I saw that it was Ashlynn Wilson, and her equally bitchy cheerleader friend, Jenna.
They were snickering at me, and rolling their eyes.
“What are you looking at? GO FASTER!”
I turned around and began walking quicker, just wanting to leave and get out of their way. But it was still such a hold up, with so many people trying to squeeze through the main doors at once.
“OH MY GOD, GOOO!” Ashlynn shoved me in the back again, this time, successfully making me lose my balance and fall on my face.
They laughed and walked over me, while everyone else behind me just groaned in annoyance, and all walked around me; making it hard for me to get up.
When I finally did get up, I was beyond embarrassed. I quickly sped out of the building, and down the sidewalk, leading to my house.
I was so close to breaking down into tears. I just desperately needed to get home, so I could get rid of this feeling.

When I got home, I immediately ran up the stairs, mentally thanking my mom for being at work this afternoon.
I ran into my room and instantly began hyperventilating; my anxiety was killing me. Having attention drawn on yourself when you have social phobia, is literally the worst thing that could happen.
Once I calmed down a bit, I reached underneath my mattress, and took out one of my few blades that I hid around my room.
Tears began to roll down my cheeks, as I took a deep breath, and shakily rolled up my sleeve. I aimed the blade at my wrist, when I felt a sudden cool breeze, and the blade was smacked out of my hand.
Suddenly, a flustered looking Alex came into view.
“A-Alex..” I stared at him in shock, not knowing what to say after my best friend caught me in my self-destructive act.
“What the fuck, Bethany? You told me you'd stop doing that shit!” He looked at me with such disappointment, I couldn't help but break down, right then and there.
“I'm sorry Alex, I'm sorry!!” I wailed, covering my face with my hands as I cried.
Alex visibly un-tensed, and his face fell with sadness.
“Hey hey hey, don't cry.” He wrapped his arms tightly around me, and I began to cry into his chest.
His naturally cold body suddenly became warm; he could absorb as much heat as he wanted. It's a cool ability that he has.
I soon felt my feet sweep off the ground, and I wrapped my arms around Alex’s neck, as he carried me bridal style to my bed. He laid me down and took off my boots that I failed to take off when I ran in, before kicking off his own shoes, and laying on the bed; next to me.
I snuggled up to him, and uncontrollably sobbed into his chest while he rubbed my back comfortingly, and whispered sweet nothings into my ear.
“You’re okay..shh..everything is gonna be okay.” He soothed, in attempts to calm me down.
It soon began to work, and I began taking deep, calm breaths.
“I'm sorry, Alex.” I repeated for the millionth time.
“What’s going on with you?” He looked at me skeptically.
“N-nothing. I'm fine.” I denied, even though we both knew that it obviously wasn't true.
“Beth, I know you. Don't try to lie to me. You're not fine.”
I just sighed in response, honestly not wanting to talk.
“Tell me.”
“Why should I tell you anything about what's going on in my life? You don't tell me shit about yours.” I retaliated, knowing that I was about to start up an argument over something stupid.
“Bethany, that's different, and you know it.”
“No, it's actually not that different at all. You close yourself off all the time when you're upset, and you just disappear without telling me anything!” I glared at him.
“Yeah, and I'm sorry I make it seem like I'm just full of secrets, and that you hardly know me. But everything about me is complicated, and I can't tell you everything, Beth. It's not really anything you'd want to know, anyway.”
It was silent after that. I thought about it for a moment, and decided that I was satisfied with his answer. I just really wanted to end that conversation.
After a while, he started speaking again.
“So..will you please tell me what's wrong? I need to know what's making you so upset that you would resort to hurting yourself. I don't want you doing this anymore. Please let me help you.” He looked at me with a sad desperation in his eyes.
I sighed, and looked down at my hands.
“I'm just tired of being afraid.”
“Afraid? Of what?”
“Of everyone and everything, Alex! People hate me. I can't even talk! I'm a nobody! If there's one place where I do not matter, it's school!” I felt my eyes fill up with tears, once again.
He wrapped his arm back around my waist, and pulled me into his chest.
“You do matter. It's hard for you to socialize, and that's okay. It doesn't mean that you deserve to be treated like shit by all those pricks in that place! Listen, whatever they say, doesn't matter. The only thing that I know is true, is that you're smart, funny, amazing..heck, you're the most beautiful girl I know!”
I couldn't help but start giggling at that.
“That's cause I'm the only girl you know.”
“Technically, the only living girl I know, but you get my point. Anyways, listen. I love you, and it really hurts me to see you like this. Just remember that the moon still glows, even in spite of the darkness after the sun goes down. You can get through this. Okay?”
I smiled adoringly at my best friend, overly thankful to have him here. I couldn't imagine what life would be like without him.
“Okay. Thanks, I really needed that.”
“Anytime, Beth. I'm always here.” He returned the smile.
If only he actually was always here. Maybe then, everything wouldn't suck so badly.
You start to wonder those things after you realize that all of your happiness has to do with one person. And that person is Alex. Without him, I'd be nothing. Maybe I don't know how or why he's here, but quite frankly, I'm just glad that he is.

Notes

Aw, poor Jacky :'(
Just introducing some characters, now.
We can learn about Alex in the next chapter, yay.
I need to catch up on my writing, I'm such a slacker :P

Your comments make me really happy, ily <3
Thanks! :)

Title cred: The Last Something That Meant Anything- Mayday Parade