There's A Ghost In This Room

I woke up on a Wednesday, to the sound of my obnoxiously loud alarm. I groaned and rolled over, quickly silencing it.
I laid there in bed and rested my eyes for a little bit longer. It was my only little way of mentally preparing myself for the dreadful day soon to come. I honestly wish that I could just stay asleep forever. That way, I could just stay in my own happy little dream world, where I could be away from everyone, and everything else. An alternate reality. I'd really like that.
“BETHANY, YOU BETTER BE OUT OF THAT BED, YOUNG LADY! WE GO THROUGH THIS EVERY MORNING!” I heard my mom yell from downstairs.
“I KNOW, I’M UP! GEEZ.” I responded, before taking a deep breath and lazily dragging myself out of bed.
I walked into the bathroom and stripped down, before taking a long, hot shower to calm my nerves and also wake me up a bit. When I got out of the shower, I dried off and went to get some clothes. I decided to just throw on a navy blue hoodie, grey skinny jeans, and my black combat boots. Simple enough.
I went back into my bathroom and applied my makeup, before deciding on just brushing my towel dried hair, to be done with it.
I was almost done, when I heard a voice.
“So, I see you dyed your hair again.”
I shrieked a little and jumped, after noticing the laughing boy standing behind me in the mirror.
I turned around and smacked him on the arm.
“Alex!! You've gotta stop sneaking up on me like that! Almost gave me a heart attack!” I scowled, holding my hand over my heart and taking deep breaths.
He just continued on with his laughing episode.
“I..can't believe…you aren't used to that yet!” He was toppled over in laughter, while I just crossed my arms and glared at him.
But he was right, he literally pops up out of the blue all the time. But it still catches me off guard, though!
“It's really not that funny, Alex.”
“Y-yes it is!!”
“No, it's really not.”
He just shook his head and looked up at me, then started laughing all over again.
“BOO!” He teased, jumping and making monster hands at me.
“I hate you..so much..” I shook my head, unable to contain my smile from that one.
“Nah, you love me. I'm a great best friend, admit it.” He grinned, wrapping his arms around me.
I laughed a bit, and returned the hug.
“Yeah, I guess…you're alright sometimes.”
“Yeah..you're alright, too.” He chuckled, not leaving the hug.
We stood like that for a while, and I just took it all in; enjoying what would probably be the only good part of my day.
“You know something, Lex?” I started.
“Hm?” He hummed in response.
“I really just wish you could go to school with me, too…you know, so it would be a lot more bearable..”
He just sighed, and pulled away from the hug.
“You know I can't do that, Beth.” His eyes averted to the ground, as he sighed in frustration.
“Yeah, I know, but..I mean, I can see you! Why don't you just let everyone else see-“
“Because it's not that fucking simple, Bethany! Will you please just try to understand that?”
Alex was a bit ill-tempered when it came to talking about anything in regards to him being a phantom. He absolutely hates talking about anything on that subject, and he often just has a small fit, and leaves. But I just want answers.
“Understand? Alex, what is there for me to understand, when you never tell me anythi-“
“Just fucking drop it, Bethany.” He started getting all worked up, but it was beginning to upset me, as well.
“No! I won't drop it, Al-“
I stopped mid-sentence, when he disappeared into thin air.
I groaned and deeply sighed out of annoyance.
I just find it really freaking frustrating, that he knows absolutely everything about me, yet it's like I know very little about him. And you would think I did, seeing as I’ve basically known him my entire life.
I sighed again, and walked out of my bathroom, picked up my stuff, and went downstairs; where my mom was pouring the contents of a blender into two cups.
“Hey there! Want a smoothie?” My mom asked, holding out a clear glass of pink liquid to me.
“Strawberry banana?” I smirked, taking the cup from her hand.
“What else?” My mom joked, rolling her eyes.
I smiled, as I took a sip.
Half of the time, my mom could be my best friend. She'll be a nice, responsible mother that I can joke around with and talk to. But when she has her melancholy mood swings, she starts drinking, and she becomes a completely different person; who's not very fun to be around. I cherish these moments when she's having a good day.
“Alright, I'm gonna head out, Mom. Thanks for the smoothie.” I turned around, and started walking towards the front door.
“You're welcome, honey! Have a good day at school!” She yelled after me.
Good day at school? Ha, yeah right. Let the fun begin.
I soon got in my car, and drove off to my horrid school/dungeon/prison.

When I got to the school, I just went straight to my first period History class, instead of hanging out in the cafeteria and courtyards during the first thirty minutes before class officially starts. Other people usually just hang out and socialize, but hey- it's not like I actually have anyone to socialize with.
I just sat there with my head down on the desk, trying to get some shut eye before the bell. When class finally started, we ended up having to watch some boring thirty minute video on some revolution that I already knew about.
Within the first few minutes of it, I began to get bored, and I zoned out; staring at all the posters on the wall. I guess other people became uninterested in it too, because I heard giggling coming from a few seats away. I turned my attention to the giggling, to see two girls looking my way and snickering.
I immediately became aware and self conscious, knowing that they were probably laughing at me. But why?
“Oh my gosh, look at her hair..” I heard one of them say.
“Is she blind? So fucking ugly.” The other laughed along with her.
Ugly.
Right. I'm ugly.
I knew that dying my entire head these unnatural colors would catch some attention, but negative attention is what I was most worried about. I guess that now I have a good reason to be.
I immediately looked away, and averted my eyes down to my now sweaty hands in my lap. I felt the familiar sting of tears beginning to fill my eyes.
No, Bethany.
Stop it. Do not cry.
You do not need anymore attention on yourself.
You're being an overdramatic little baby. Suck it up.
Do. Not. Fucking. Cry.
I tried to mentally coach myself into calming down, while taking deep breaths and frantically blinking my eyelids, in attempt to make the tears go away.

I mentally battled with my own self-esteem for the rest of the day. Nobody spoke to me, except for the usual questions: “Why are you so quiet?” “You don't talk much do you?” “How come you never talk?”
It was quite annoying. I got those daily.
And in regards to my hair, I still got a few snooty remarks towards myself, but there was always the occasional nice person who would compliment me.
But of course, their compliments didn't seem to matter to me; all that ever actually stuck in my brain, were the insults I got each day. It absolutely destroyed me inside, and made me feel like complete and utter shit.
When school was finally over, I drove home, and immediately ran upstairs to my room.
I ran into the bathroom and locked the door shut.
I rambled around in my cabinet drawer, until I found what I needed. My blade. My only release from the harsh defeat the world gives me each day. I needed this. I was dependent on this. It may seem sick, but it's what I need in order to get through these things.
I took off my hoodie, and looked down at my scar-littered wrist. I took a deep breath in preparation, before sliding the sharp piece of metal against my skin. I instantly felt relieved, from being the little red beads of blood appear on my skin. I repeated the action a few more times, taking pride in the small after-sting, before deciding that I should probably stop.
I sat there and just stared at it for a moment, before getting up to clean myself up. After that, I put on a long sleeved top, and went straight to bed; not in the mood for dinner.
It took me about an hour and a half of staring into the darkness of the room, before sleep finally overtook me.
And this is my dangerous daily cycle that I call a life.
Now back to that alternate reality..

Notes

Yay for boring first chapters! :D

Gives you a feel of that socially anxious life.. I know that feel.

And wowowow you guys are freaking awesome, thank you so much!
And keep those votes coming! <3

Thanks! :)

Title cred: Ghosts- Mayday Parade