I Just Want A Place In Your Heart Like You Have A Place In Mine

“Alex wake up!” I heard Evan shout as my bedroom door started opening. I just groaned and pulled the covers over my head. “Lex! Now!” I grabbed the pillow next to me and threw it at his face and then hearing a grunt from him.
“Dude, it’s six, you need to get up.” Evan said as I felt the weight on my bed shift. I just groaned and rubbed my eyes slowly sitting up. Evan was already ready of course.
“Great, back to that Hell hole.” I muttered as I stretched out my arms and then scratched my bare chest.
“Hang in there, bro.” Evan smiled weakly before walking out of my bedroom and shutting the door.

I shoved the blanket off of me and got out of my comfortable bed made for two. I walked to the bathroom and rinsed my face off quickly. I got my toothbrush and started brushing my teeth and then something hit me. What if Jack tries to ask about this weekend in front of my friends? What if my friends start making fun of me? What if I get kicked off of the football team? Soon enough, I couldn't breathe. I tried slowing my breathing down and getting back on a steady pace as I gripped the counter. Thankfully, it worked.

I threw my toothbrush on counter and walked out of the bathroom and back into my room sighing. I grabbed my phone and seen that Cassie texted me.

From Cassie <3 : Hey baby, I know you had a rough weekend but I wanted you to know that I love you and you’ll be okay.

I smiled at the text message and locked my phone. I didn't feel like answering, I don’t feel like talking to anyone right now.

I slipped on some regular blue jeans with a Nike shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. This wasn't me. The real me would be wearing tight ass jeans with a band t-shirt and some converse. I flicked my hair out of my eyes, slipped my phone in my pocket, and walked downstairs.

“Morning, Alexander.” Dad said once I reached the kitchen.
“Morning, Dad.” I sighed. No matter how many times I have told him to call me Alex, he just doesn't. I said a quick good morning to Mom and Lacey as well. I walked over to the counter and took the pills I was prescribed and sat down next to Evan and rested my head on his shoulder.

“What’s wrong big bro?” Evan whispered so Dad didn't hear.
“School, but who am I to complain. You have it a lot worse than me. I wish I could take away everything you get put through.” I mumbled truthfully to him. Evan and I have always been really close.
“Don’t say that, I’m okay.” Evan smiled. I pulled my head away and gave him a tiny smile. “Ready?”
“Yeah, let’s go.” Evan and I left the kitchen, grabbed our bags by the door and walked to school since neither of us could drive.

After the fifteen minute walk we arrived at school with fifteen minutes to spare. “I’m gonna go find Sally see ya!” Evan shouted before running into the school. I waved bye to him and made my over to my ‘jock buds.’

“Gaskarth!” My teammate yelled once I reached them by our tree. The football team always hung out by this one tree and we would bring any slut we could find. It’s just what we do.
“Hey assholes.” I said bringing my fake personality back. Don’t let them in…
“Ayyy!” Colton shouted pointing at Cassie who was walking up to us.
“It’s Alex’s pink bunny!” Another member named Jacob yelled. I turned around to face her and rolled my eyes at the team. She just giggled and ran up to me wrapping her arms around my torso.
“Hey Baby.” I whispered kissing her quickly and soon started making conversation with the rest of the team.

We ended up staying outside ten minutes after the bell rang. So first period started ten minutes ago. That was one reason why I actually liked hanging out with them. Getting to go classes late. I’m terrible in school, I have all D’s and one F.

“Guys we better get going before we all get detention!” Riley shouted before running into the school.
“Yeah, let’s go!” The rest yelled following Riley leaving Cassie and I outside.

“Oh, God I hate them.” I laughed cupped her cheek.
“So do I,” She giggled staring into my eyes. I brought my lips to hers and kissed her softly. I pulled away after a bit and rested our foreheads against each others.
“I don’t you being more late, go on now.” I smiled. She nodded and kissed my cheek quickly before running off. I smiled happily as the girl went into school.

I flung my backpack over my shoulder and walked into school. First period, mathematics. Great. That is my worse class. I was never good at math, I try so hard to get my grades up but I can’t. It’s just to hard. By the time I got to my class I was fifteen minutes late.

I walked into the class as cool as possible as the teacher glared at me.
“Alex, why are you late this time?” She huffed pushing her glasses up.
“Got attacked by a purple walrus.” I said making the class laugh. She just rolled her eyes and went back on her laptop. I noticed that everyone was paired up with some so I just walked up to her desk and shut laptop shut.

“Alexa-”
“Lady, who am I paired with?” I said harshly to her. She just rolled her eyes and opened her laptop again.
“Jack Barakat. Know him?” She asked.
“Ugh, that weird, ugly, shy, gay kid?” I said pretty loud making the class laugh. Out of the corner of my eye I seen Jack look up at ceiling and sigh before looking back down at his paper wiping his eyes. Now I made Evan’s friend cry. Great.
“That is enough Alex! Just do the work with him and then meet me after class.” She said sternly. I nodded and walked over to Jack. I sat in the seat next to him waiting for him to say something. He just pushed his big glasses up and kept looking at his paper and answering problems.

“I’m paired with you, Jack.” I said after about five minutes of silence. He looked up at me with wide eyes.
“You know my name?” He asked quietly.
“Yeah, idiot. You’re my little brothers best friend.” I laughed. They boy just silently nodded and looked at his paper.
“Um, er o-on uh, um-" I cut the stuttering boy off by sighing and saying, “spit it out before I punch it out.”
“I was just wondering um, what happened at the mall Sunday?” He asked looking up at me. I sighed and slunk into my chair.
“That is none of your business. I didn't come up to you and ask why you were gay, did I? No. Mind your own business and let’s just get this paper done.” I muttered as I grabbed an extra copy off of him.
“Sorry.” He mumbled. He handed me his paper and I copied down the answers he already had. We had about twenty more problems to do still.
“So, uh, how about we answer the rest of the problems by ourselves and then c-check with each other afterwards.” Jack stated and started getting to work.
“Oh, um, sure.” I said and started looking at the math problems hoping to figure out these damned problems.

About ten minutes later Jack tapped my shoulder. I looked up at him and he smiled weakly, “d-did you finish?”
“Wait- did you?” I asked astonished.
“Yeah, I finished about five minutes ago.” Jack said with a little laugh. I smiled weakly at him and then looked back at my paper.
“Um, I only got two done…” I mumbled now being the shy one. I hated being bad at school.
“Oh, um, want me to help you out?” Jack asked nicely.
“Oh, wow, sure.” I smiled a bit, my facade disappearing a bit. Jack moved closer to me pushing up his black glasses and started explaining the math problems.

With Jack explaining it, they actually made sense. Like everything just faded from my mind about my anxiety, about Dad, everything. Jack explained it slowly and softly to me pointing to each number and variable with his bony fingers. Then he would check to make sure I was understanding it and everything. He was so nice and I was such an asshole. I now see why Evan is best friends with him.

“Make sense?” He asked after he finished explaining all twenty problems since I got the two wrong that I did by myself.
“Yeah, thanks Jack.” I smiled and he smiled back. He started moving back over until Colton came running up to us. Jack was still sitting pretty close when Colton came.

“Hey Barafag, making a move on my buddy, Gaskarth?” Colton yelled laughing his head off. I seen Jack’s cheeks go red from embarrassment. I honestly felt terrible, but I need to be rude.
“Ew! Get off of me you disgusting fag!” I shouted making the whole class start laughing. “He was trying to get his hands all over me!” Jack just looked at me with hurt written in his eyes before grabbing his stuff and running out of the classroom, probably crying.

“He’s disgusting.” Colton said to me as the bell rang.
“Yeah, he is.” I mumbled having guilt fill my gut. He started walking out the door and noticed me not following him.
“Well, you coming?” He asked.
“Have to stay after class, I’ll see you at lunch.” I said walking up to the teacher. He nodded leaving me the only one in the class.

“You needed to see me?” I asked calmly since I was the only one in the class.
“Yeah I did. For two reasons. The first reason is that you have to stop bullying people or you are going to get written up again. Second reason, you are failing my class. You know what happens when you fail a class.” She said sadly crossing her arms over her chest.
“You can’t kick me off the football team! I’m the captain!” I shouted back angrily. They can not take football away from me just because I’m failing.
“You might wanna change that tone, I knew that taking you off the team would only make it worse so you are going to get a tutor.” I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. I guess it’s better than getting thrown off the team.
“Who is it and when do we start?” I asked.
“It is Jack Barakat since he is the smartest kid in this class with a ninety-nine percent. You guys will have to meet and plan when, but I recommend starting soon.” She said giving me a weak smile.
“Yes Ma’am.” I said as I made my way to the door. “Oh and Mrs. Miller?” I said turning around.
“Hm?”
“Thanks for not kicking me off the team.” I smiled and walked out of the class.

This sure was going to be a wild ride…

Notes

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