We Were Born To Lose

Battle cries from both sides filled my ears. I charged, knowing that Sirs Dawson and Merrick where right behind me. My sword collided with a man’s back, clad in armor. The force knocked him off his feet and I thrust my sword into his throat. I pulled it out swiftly and ran down the hall at the end of the room. I knew that if Jack was here, he’d probably be underground in the dungeon so whenever I came across a staircase leading down, I took it. This was a large outpost, but it was pretty standard. We only came across a few soldiers but I could tell they were new, both by their skill and the fact that they’d fallen back. That battle was a short one and we were back on out way. We came to a fork in the hall. One hallway led to a room that was obviously a torture room. It had a blood-soaked table with bloody tools making me silently beg that that wasn’t Jack’s blood. We turned and went down the other direction and spotted a guard. I held my hand up, signaling my men to stop. I then crept up behind him which was surprisingly hard to do since i was trying to keep my armor from making a sound. I then stood upright, hit him in the back of the knee which caused him to fall to the ground, then I stabbed him. He never knew what hit him. I signaled my men to follow me again and we ran down a few hallways and through some doors. I started feeling desperate, wondering if he was even here at all, when I opened a door that revealed a row of cells. All of them where empty accept one…But that couldn’t be Jack. He was hunched over on the floor in blood-soaked clothes, almost completely lifeless, and so skinny. He was so, so skinny. Jack was a lanky person, but not like this. Then he rolled over. I took one look at those eyes and knew.
“Jack!” I cried, running up to his cell and breaking the lock by striking it with the hilt of my sword. I threw the cell door open and rushed to his side. Like I said before, he was skinny, blood-soaked, limp, and his eyes didn’t have that spark…But they were there. From what I could tell, he hadn’t been mutilated too much. I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to hug him and kiss him and keep him safe, but he looked so fragile and breakable that I was afraid I might shatter him.
“I’m sorry. I don’t hate you. Please forgive me I could never hate you.” I cried, a few tears trickling down my face. He didn’t speak, he just looked at me with eyes that were so tired and so, so sad. I had no idea what caused such despair in his eyes but I prayed that it would bestow itself on me, not him.
I exhaled hard and brought my arms around him, lifting him bridal style. I stood then turned to my knights,
“You’ll have to do the fighting for me.” I said. They nodded and we all rushed out, me being careful not to jostle Jack too much. He looked like he was just barely holding on and was staring blankly at nothing in particular. We seemed to outnumber the enemy, thank god. And we were able to get through the halls without too much excitement. Then we stumbled across someone I didn’t expect to see running around free.
“Balthazar?” I asked. At the sound of his name, Jack stiffened and stared at him, unmoving. I could’ve sworn I saw him give Jack a hungry gaze which caused me to hold him tighter to me.
“Hey I just got away, you’ve got Jack? Okay let’s go.”
“Wait.” I said, suspicious.
“Can we do this later? We’re kind of in the middle of a battle here.” He asked, exasperated.
“No wait. How did you go missing?”
“Cenrid’s men picked me up shortly after the battle.” He replied.
“But they’d all retreated.” Zack spoke up, by the look on his and Rian’s faces, they were suspicious too.
“There was a group who picked me up as I was taking a walk.” He answered.
“Okay so why did they take you?” I asked.
“They wanted information.” He replied, shifting his weight.
“Why don’t you have any injuries?” Rian asked.
“They didn’t torture me.” He answered.
“You’re really going to expect me to believe that they tortured Jack but not you?” I asked.
“You have to!” He cried, stepping closer making Jack flinch.
“What did you do to, Jack?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“Nothing!” He exclaimed.
“Balthazar don’t lie to me.” I growled and Rian and Zack lifted their swords.
“I didn’t do anything!” He exclaimed.
“Then why did he flinch out of his skin when he saw you?” I asked.
“Because he’s been here for days while being tortured. No offense your highness, but he’s not the most stable minded person at the moment.” He spoke as if Jack weren’t even here.
Balthazar had a point, but I still had my suspicions when I nodded to Rian and Zack, telling them to lower their weapons. After that, we wasted no time getting out of there. It was probably just my cynical mind, but Balthazar seemed to know where he was going.
“Dorian!” I called. He spun around to see me rushing up to him with Jack in my arms.
“You found him!” He said grimly.
“Yes. I’m going back with Dawson, Merrick, and Balthazar. You’re in charge.” I said.
“Yes sire.”
Then I ran to the horses and pushed Jack on. I rode with him in front of me like I did the time he’d gotten wounded by that bandit ambush. I didn’t breath easy until we got Jack out of that horrid place and then my heart didn’t stop pounding until we’d cantered a safe distance away. The ride was silent and fast, but it seemed to last for ages because I had no idea what was going on in Jack’s head. I knew he could be mentally crumbling right now. That thought made me hold him closer to my chest and urge my horse faster. Once we entered the field, I jumped off my horse and carried Jack to our tent, sending Merrick to get a physician. I lay him down on the bed and realized that this was the first time I’d really been able to see him.
“Jack.” I whispered, stroking his cheek. He flinched a little but then relaxed but I couldn’t blame him after what he’d been through. He looked up at me with huge eyes that held so much sadness and pain, I didn’t know how he could bear it. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk, I understand so I’ll just do the talking okay?” He didn’t make a sound. He didn’t even move so I took his hand. “I am such an idiot. How could I ever say I hated you when it is impossible for me to do such a thing?” I had to stop myself for a moment so I didn’t break down. “I never stopped looking you know, never. I searched for five days because I couldn’t bear to think of you in that place. Please Jack, you mean so much to me and I’ll never hate you, it would be impossible.” He blinked, but he remained expression and wordless. I lowered my head and pressed it to my hand which was clasped around his and just allowed the fact that he was here to sink in.
“Knock knock.” A man’s voice called. I retracted my hands quickly and hated myself for doing so, but no one could see us. I was so worried about the physician accidentally hurting him, or him getting scared that he actually had to have Sir Merrick and Dawson escort me outside to wait. I was so anxious I paced back and forth in front of the tent.
“Alex if you don’t stop that pacing, there’s gonna be a line of bare ground.” Merrick said. I huffed and stood still, crossing my arms. After several more agonizing minutes, the tent flap opened and the physician stepped out.
“We’re done. As for his physical health, he’s lucky to be in the condition he’s in. He had multiple lacerations which I’ve stitched up and I applied some healing salve to the burns and smaller wounds. When he heals, he’ll have scars but it won’t be too bad.” He informed. “But for his mental health. He is obviously suffering from PTSD, or post traumatic stress disorder. While I was stitching him up, he didn’t move. Normally it’s got people gripping something so hard their knuckles turn white but he didn’t even flinch. You said he hasn’t spoken?”
“No and he seems so…Absent. Do you think that’s part of it?”
“No doubt. I think what is happening is that the whole time Jack was there, he refused to talk or give them information. He drilled it into his brain not to speak so much, he won’t talk at all.”
This caused me to pinch the bridge of my nose.
“You need to take him away. Take him back to the castle, he can’t remain here. I recommend that you stay with him, he trusts you even if he’s not showing it.”
“Thank you.” I murmured before rushing back inside. Jack was staring blankly at the ceiling. “Hey Jack.” I greeted, laying next to him.
“We’re going back to the castle tomorrow.” I said causing him to turn his head and look at me. Well that was good, at least he didn’t act like I hadn’t said anything. I didn’t talk after that. Jack had had a rough couple of days so I just let him lay there and let the fact that he was safe sink in.

Notes

Title Cred: Truce by Twenty One Pilots


He may be a little rough around the edges but hE IS SAFE, LET'S ALL HAVE A PARTY