We Were Born To Lose

“Very good.” The Prince said, impressed my my horsemanship.
“Thank you.” I replied, jumping down and leading my horse, who I’d named Carmer, back into his stall. I’d finished untacking him when the knights walked into the stable, making me tense up.
“I’ve gotta go train them, I’ll see you later.” He said before he started give the knights instructions. I brushed Carmer and filled his bucket with water, then brought him a small stack of hay. After caring for him, I treaded up to the castle and into the Prince’s room to clean it. After I was finished, the tiredness hit me. Four hours of training, cleaning my horse, washing his clothes, and cleaning his room had exhausted me. But this fatigue was better than the fatigue I felt when I was with my previous master. I looked out the window to see the Prince dismounting from his horse and leading it into the stable.

He probably wants me to see to his horse.

I raced down to the stable and by the time I got there, I was exhausted and out of breath.
“Steady kid, what is it?” He asked, bearing his horse’s tack.
“You- Horse-“ I gasped between breaths.
“It’s fine. A man should care for his own horse.” He said. A wave of relief washed over me when I realized he wasn’t angry. “You don’t need to be so scared all the time. I’m not your old master. I won’t be angry if you make a mistake here and there.” He smiled. This new life still seemed like such a dream to me. I still couldn’t believe that I was graced with such a kind master.
“Thank you, my Lord. For everything.” I said quietly, looking down. I tried to fight them, but the tears streamed down my face. He walked up closer to me and I tried to calm myself but to no avail. Suddenly, the Prince enveloped me in a warm hug. I was stiff at first, imagining him him throwing me against the stall door and cutting my head open but that feeling stopped when I returned the gesture.
“I know that there’s more to your old master. I know you went through something far worse than what you’ve told me.” He whispered in my ear.
“How?” I asked, he released me and for once, I dared look up at him. His eyes were soft and his lips were turned into a sad smile. The slowly setting sun shown behind him, making the tips of his hair look like they were on fire.
“Your eyes are sad. I’ve met very few people with eyes as sad as yours.” He said. I’d built a mask so that no one could see how much I was hurting but it wasn’t invincible, my mask was breaking. Since I met the Prince, it was like it was made of glass and it takes a big facade to hide the cracks.
“I’m fine, my Lord.” I said quietly.
“No you’re not.” The truth of his words cut deep into me, slashing at my heart because I knew he was right, “But I can’t talk now. I have knights to train.” He spoke sadly, as if he didn’t want to leave.
“I know, Sire.” I whispered.
“Run off and do something fun. I’ll be done with my armor in about three hours.” He smiled, as if nothing happened. I nodded and turned around and walked back up to the castle. Since I had nothing to do, I figured I’d go visit Mom since I also could use a kind word or two. I knocked on her door and heard her invite me in. She and Alice were standing over a steaming cauldron.
“Hello.” She greeted.
“Hey.” I said, cocking my head at the cauldron.
“It’s for my nightmares.” Alice said. I nodded and looked down at the strange yellow liquid bubbling.
“Do you have nightmares or anything of that sort?” Mom asked.
“Actually last night was the first night in a long time that I didn’t.” I said.
“If you get them again, come back to me and I’ll give you something to help.” She smiled.



I killed a few hours with Alice and Mom but I knew I had to help the Prince with his armor. I showed up right at the end of training. The sky had gone from bright and sunny to dark and cloudy very quickly but I got to watch the Prince skillfully fight Sir Dawson. Sir Dawson was bigger and more muscular than the Prince, though the Prince’s skill made up for his size. Soon, Sir Dawson’s sword was on the ground and the Prince’s sword was pointed at his heart. Everyone laughed and broke off. The Prince walked into his own tent and the knights walked into the other tent.
“Sire?” I announced myself.
“Come in, Jack.” He said. I walked in and immediately started undoing his armor. It was a lot easier taking it off than it was putting it on and soon it was all laid out on the table and the Prince handed me a bag to put it all in so I could carry it up to the castle. We walked out of the tent to see the knights standing there, waiting for us. The Prince took the lead back up and the knights and I fell behind.
“Did you get them?” Sir Merrick asked. I grinned and turned out my pockets to reveal the flaky portions of sugary goodness. They were slightly smushed from the day’s activities but they were pastries none the less. All the knights took their turn casually getting close to me to get one and the Prince didn’t turn around once. We all parted ways at the castle and they all gave me either a pat on the back or a playful wink. I followed the Prince up the stairs and he showed me a rag, cleaner, and polish in the trunk. I got to work on his armor on the floor as he did paperwork at his desk. Suddenly a loud boom of thunder shook the castle making me jump what seemed like ten feet in the air causing the armor to loudly clang.
“You okay?” The Prince asked, looking up.
“I-I’m f-fine.” I stuttered, fear enveloping me causing me to shake.
“Scared of thunder?”
“Something like that.” I mumbled, getting back to work. The booms of thunder always brought back such bad memories of pans clanging over my head, fists flying across my cheek, and my headboard banging against the wall as I was raped repeatedly. I’d finished and was putting everything back in the trunk when another loud one erupted making me jump again. Alex put his quill down and joined me on the floor.
“Do you want to tell me?” He asked. I shook my head making him sigh. Another boom and I cowered so much that the Prince pulled me into his arms.
“It’s okay, Jack. It’s just thunder.” He cooed. I took deep breaths and focused on calming down. His hug was tight and it grew more constricting when the sky rumbled giving me a feeling of security. Soon I no longer jumped at the sounds but instead, burring my face into the Prince’s chest. Then the rain came. I liked the rain. It reminded me of my lake which always soothed my wounds. The storm lasted all night and into the morning and the Prince held me through the entire thing.

Notes

Title cred: Kiss Me by Ed Sheeran


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