Last night was amazing. Being around my hero’s with them actually listening. Having each and every one of them caring about me. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world. It feels like it was just a dream. It was hard to tell them everything that happened, even with leaving some stuff out and not going into details. I could barely get through it, but with them there I felt strong. It was nice. Plus I felt really comfy in Alex’s arms. I want it to stay like this forever.

“Hey Kywe c;” Alex texted me.

“Hey Lexwi. XD” I answered.

“Feel up to hanging out with me today?”

“Sure, just you? Or the guys too?”

“Just me..If that’s okay.”

“Of course Lexi. C:”

“yaaaayyyyy. I’ll pick you up in an hour. ;) wuv you.”

“Wuv you too. ;) XDDDD”

“Lexi!!!” I yelled, running to him like in the sappy love movies.”

“Kylieeee!” He ran back.

As I hugged him I said, “Hi Alex”

Laughing, “Hey KyKy.”

“So what are we going to do today?”

“Movies at my house?”

“Awesome.” I smile.

I wonder why Alex wants to hang out with me. Jack is the one that's mainly friends with me. I don't know. I guess now that I'm part of the crew he'll want to get to know me. This is awesome.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me and Alex we’re cuddled up close on his couch watching Donnie Darko.


“Kylie.. may I ask you what happened with your brother?”

“Um yeah. His name was Tim, I called him Timmy. He was only 31 when he died. It was a car accident. It wasn’t his fault, it was a stupid drunk driver that ran him off of the side of the road. I think getting the phone call was the worst part. He was my hero, my biggest inspiration, he always will be. In my eyes he was perfect. He was married to an amazing women, they had 2 dogs and a gecko together. He was doing what he loved, where he loved. He was just a happy person. He wasn’t a huge talker, you really understood him more with his actions. I remember one night when about 8 my family disowned me. I missed a week of school, and he demanded to know why. I remember crying as I told him, and after just running to the bathroom, but instead he grabbed me and pulled me into his arms, where I cried through his whole lunch break for work. That hug was worth a thousand words. All of his were. When I started cutting he found out and drove all the way to my house, brought me home with him and I spent the night playing Mario Kart with him. He was the best big brother I could ever ask for, even though he was a butt at times. He was the only person that understood me in my family, or truly loved me, so now I’m pretty much alone there. The only people I really talked to at the wake was his wife, and 3 best friends. Everyone knew I’d take it the worst, and they were right. All I want to do is see him again, just hug him one more time. I mean, is that too much to ask for?” I cried.

“I’m sorry Kylie. I remembered when I lost my brother I didn’t know what to do anymore. I didn’t think life was worth it. All I wanted was for someone to hug me while I cried, and tell me it wasn’t okay. Because it’s NOT okay. By the time the funeral and wake were over I was so sick of people saying that it was okay to me, because I knew it wasn’t that it was never going to be. But I’ll always have him in my memories, even if it’s not the same. So Kylie, it’s not okay, it’s not, but it’ll get better. You’ll think about it a little less every day. He’s always going to be there, you’re always going to love him, but it won’t hurt as much. I promise.”

“Alex.. you know what the worst part is? I always imagined him being the god father for my children. I imagined him being their through their lives and being their Uncle Timmy, the best Uncle ever. He was so good with children. I just want him to be here to see them, if I ever do end up having them.”

“I know Ky, but he’ll be watching over them from Heaven, and he’ll be a part of them.”
“When I was 14 his best friend Jason lost his wife Kathryn, and I remember him just telling me and mom, that she was the best thing that ever happened to him and now she was gone. Well, that’s exactly how I feel. I hate it”

“I know. I’m sorry Kylie. I’m going to be here for you through all of this though. Okay?” It’ll get better.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*ALEX POV*
Seeing Kylie cry like that was so hard. I just want her to be okay. I know exactly how she feels, I feel so bad for her. I know the pain, and I could feel radiating off of her. I want to bring him back for her. All of this is reminding me of my brother though and I’m scared. I can’t handle going through the pain again. But I love her, and I want to be here for her, for forever. She’s perfect. And she just needs to be happy, I’m not going to let anyone change that. I have some plans in mind to make her feel a little bit more whole again.

Notes

Hey guys! I'm sorry for the sad chapter D:
It needed to be done.
I promise it will get happier soon though. c:
Love you guys!!
~Em <3